Archives for September 2011

The Trulywed Game~Episode Three

26 September, 2011 by Leave a Comment





Spiritual intimacy includes submitting to Jesus Christ and sacrificing for our spouses. 


I think one of the key words here is “spiritual.” True intimacy cannot exist without a spiritual component. God created man and wife…marriage, the closest tangible example of a Christian’s relationship with Christ. 

Marriages have such a hard time these days. We are bombarded by the media with Hollywood’s definition if intimacy…sex. Sex is most definitely necessary for intimacy in a marriage, but certainly does not stand alone as a formula for intimacy. The way Jesus treats the church is the best example of how we should treat our spouse. 

Essentials for spiritual intimacy:

1) Similar convictions ~First things first: We’ve all heard that as couples, we should not be “unequally yoked.” That has taken on so many meanings, but it all boils down to being matched with someone with similar beliefs. 

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)

Taking the step from love into marriage is a step of faith. It’s hard to keep a marriage happy and growing. So many people marry unbelievers thinking they will be the one to change them…to save them. But once inside marriage, difference in beliefs will not diminish over time, they will be magnified. 

Okay, if you’re thinking, “Oh crap, it’s too late,” don’t worry and don’t try to hit your spouse over the head with a bible or put it under his pillow hoping osmosis will do the trick. God tells us the best way to handle an unbelieving spouse.  

…Fit in with your [spouses] plans; for then if they refuse to listen when you talk to them about the Lord, they will be won by your respectful, pure behavior. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. 1 Peter 3:1-2 (TLB)

2) Spiritual Leadership~ Ephesians 5:21-25 is the well know scripture about “submission.” I’ll let you look that one up for yourself, but basically, the husband should be the spiritual leader in the home by loving and cherishing his wife…going “all out,” for her. Just as Christ did for the church. And in turn, the wife should support her husband in ways that show love for him and for Christ. How could you not resist the leadership of a man who would be willing to die for you? Or even more, give up his every Saturday golf or football game? 

…Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She…is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)

As spouses, we are equal partners in life. A team. Husbands will not always be the one that’s best to lead everything, but as a good leader, he will realize that and let his wife take the lead when that’s best. God made us to complement each other. Where the wife is weak, the husband is strong, and vice versa. This parallels with our relationship with Christ. 

For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10

We are marriage partners. Not to be too cliché, we complete each other. 

3) Surrender Self~ A Christ centered marriage is willingness of both spouses willing to die to self-centered desires. Closeness comes at the loss of yourself. “But I shouldn’t have to lose who I am!” If you are committing yourself to a Christ centered marriage, God will make you the person he created you to be. 

Husbands, go all out in love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in a dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor–since they’re already “one” in marriage. Ephesians 5:25-28 (Msg)

4) Scriptural Obedience~ As we are obedient to God, and growing closer to God, the intimacy with our spouse will increase. As married couples and as families, we must build our foundation on solid rock. 

…All those who come and listen and obey me are like a man who builds his house upon a strong foundation laid upon underlying rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against the house, it stands firm, for it is strongly built. But those who listen and don’t obey are like a man who builds a house without a foundation. When the floodwaters sweep down against that house, it crumbles into a heap of ruins. Luke 6:46-49 (TLB)

Look at today’s prescription. Husband and wife can pull together across the bottom of the triangle, without God, and they may be together, but they will have no foundation. If a husband and wife draw close to God first, they will grow together at the same time, and land on a firm foundation. 

Marriage is tough. Believe me, I know. I have had the blessing of a godly husband who is a spiritual leader in our family, although I know I haven’t always allowed him to be. Life is much smoother and happier in our home when I do. 

From my heart,
Celeste

If you would like to view these sermons from Brookwood Church, here is the link. The production of their very own “Trulywed Game” is definitely worth watching. It will make you smile =o) Just copy and paste into your browser.

http://www.brookwoodchurch.org/mediaplayer


Filed Under: Making Changes, Marriage Menders Tagged With: ,

Mustard Seed Miracles~My One Year Anniversary

25 September, 2011 by 1 Comment

Today required two prescriptions. The thing is, they seem to interact with one another. As a pharmacist, I always do my best to warn patients about interactions between their prescriptions, but this interaction is a tough one. You see, one year ago today, God healed me completely from migraine headaches, grand mal seizures, and severe depression. He healed me from the addiction of constantly chasing anything and everything for a cure. He showed me that even though Satan had a hold of my brain, he (God) was stronger…I only had to allow him to be. That’s where the interaction comes in…


Matthew 17:20 instructs us to have faith just as much as a grain of mustard seed, and we can move mountains. Yet John 4:48 tells us, “Unless you see signs and wonders you will not believe.” How can those two exist at the same time? Hebrews 11:1 tells us that faith is believing in the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.  Yet unless we see we won’t believe? So how do we get that mustard seed of faith?

For the seven years I suffered, prayed, and pleaded with God for an answer, but I was really depending on myself, on science, or on whatever else came my way. I jumped on every bandwagon that passed by with both feet, only to have my feet swept out from under me again…literally. The grand mal seizures took care of that. I was a Christian. I was saved. I fully believed that if I died I would go to Heaven. So why did I rely on science, nutrition, acupuncture, ‘hocus pocus,’ or whatever to fix me?

‘Faith the size of a mustard seed’…wow. ‘Unless you see you will not believe’…hmmm. God divinely inspired those who wrote the books of the Bible. They wrote about what they saw, and there are so many miracles in the Bible. But they happened such a long time ago. What about now?

I believe miracles happen every day. I think that we all know someone who says they have experienced a miracle, and I believe they have. They just didn’t happen to be divinely inspired by God to write in what would be the greatest book ever written.

I’d like to think that I had faith as much as a grain of mustard seed, but it sure was a long seven years to grow that mustard seed! I knew of miracles in the Bible that I learned growing up, but somehow, since these were recorded in the Bible, they must have been more “miraculous” than the miracles I’ve heard in my lifetime. They weren’t. They just happen to be the ones that are recorded in the Bible. We see those “signs and wonders” every day. So why do we not believe? Or if we say we believe, do we really, truly, down deep believe? I think that’s the “interaction” I experienced between these two prescription verses most of my life. I believed in my head, I just don’t think I believed in my heart. I “knew” Jesus in my head, but I didn’t “feel” him in my heart, at least no to the extent he wanted me to.

So today, being the one-year anniversary of my very own miracle, I can tell you 100% for sure that miracles do happen. The change in me that happened from going to bed on Friday night September 24th to Saturday morning, September 25th, was nothing short of a miracle. I knew it. I felt it. I felt Jesus deep inside me, more than I could even imagine was possible. My family, who had to live with me every day for those seven years, will be the first to tell you it was nothing short of a miracle! (My hubby says it was his miracle, not mine =o)

I wish I had a prescription to give out for a miracle. Wouldn’t that be easy? But I don’t, at least not exactly. I certainly could never compare myself to those God appointed to record what is written in they bible, but I am working hard to learn to write for him. I pray that those who may not have seen quite enough ‘signs and wonders’ to have the ‘faith of a grain of mustard seed’ might gain a little more faith in the wonder-fullness of my miracle.

Thank you Jesus!
From my heart,

Celeste
Filed Under: Beating Depression, Freedom in Christ, Miracles Do Happen, Overcoming Addiction, The Power of Prayer, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , ,

A Whole Man

22 September, 2011 by Leave a Comment

     Do you find yourself on a wild goose chase when you develop some sort of symptom you cannot figure out? That chase can lead to many painful years of you get trapped in it. I believe it’s time to take our health into our own hands (which are in God’s hands) to get the best possible care in medicine today.

     Creation: God created the heavens and the earth…light and dark, water and land, fish and birds, land animals…all on different days. 

      When God created man, Adam, he created him all at once. He didn’t create his head one day, then his toes, his kidneys, fingernails, brain, liver, nostrils, kneecaps, heart…you get the picture. He created our bodies as a masterpiece, all together, in his image. So obviously, he created our body to work as a whole. Some parts cannot survive without the others. So why, then, do we end up seeing one doctor for our eyes, one for our heart, one for our brain, one for our bones, etc. There are so many systems, organs, enzymes, neurotransmitters, hormones, and so forth, that no one doctor can possibly be an expert in everything. And that is understandable, but here’s where the problem comes in. Every day I see people who are mindlessly wandering from doctor to doctor to try to solve their problem. Each specialist will rule out anything that he might be able to find, and then pass the buck to the next specialist. To be thorough, they will typically run every test known to man in their area so they won’t miss anything and later be sued.  

     We need help. As patients, we need to find one doctor who can look at the whole picture–the whole body that God created–and think out of the box sometimes. Many doctors will simply not take the time or have the time to do this, so as patients it’s our responsibility to find that one person who can manage your “whole picture.” Between you and God, you can find the physician for you. Be informed, and then hold your doctor accountable. And from personal experience, I would find this person BEFORE you actually need them. Interview them. Remember it’s your body and they want your business. Let them know what you need and expect from them and see how they respond. 

     You know my story (or if you don’t go back and read in this blog under the “my story” page). I want to share another story with you that is a perfect example of the pitfall we step into when we don’t have one doctor than can keep an eye on everything, in conjunction with our specialists. I am going on memory here, but I think all the details are correct…

     A pastor of a church began getting dizzy. Then dizzier and dizzier and dizzier. He had to go on disability. He went to a neurologist who performed general tests, including an EEG (to scan his brain waves). Something in the scan prompted him to believe this man was experiencing some sort of seizure causing his dizziness. The doctor put him on an anti-seizure medication. Still dizzy. Added another one. Still dizzy. Added yet another one. Still dizzy. He ended up in a hospital in Texas for around two months so they could monitor him and see if they could figure it out. After those two months (and probably $200,000), he was still dizzy. His wife had enough and said, “when.” She talked him into going to a health and wellness doctor…someone capable of looking at the whole picture. In that appointment, the doctor learned that he’d started taking Lipitor for cholesterol shortly before his dizziness started years ago. But Lipitor is for cholesterol. How could this possibly matter? 

     Well, this new doctor told him to stop taking the Lipitor for a few days and see if he could tell a difference. Wouldn’t you know he started feeling better? The dizziness began to subside. As the Lipitor was stripping fat from his blood, it was also stripping the “good fat” from his brain. Thus, the dizziness. He was on disability for four years and is now stuck on three medications that he probably never needed, but going off them too rapidly is dangerous.  Because this one doctor who was willing to take time to look at the whole picture, he is getting his life back again. 

     Our bodies are complex. It is an absolute miracle to me that such a complicated being could result from just and egg and a sperm, and God made it that way. We all must find our own balance, but if we take the best knowledge we have, listen to what our bodies are telling us, and go to God for guidance, hopefully the wild goose chases will begin to decrease. It may seem an overwhelming task at times, but really it’s just about changing our way of thinking. No matter how much book knowledge a doctor has, he cannot feel what you feel. No one knows your body like you do and like God does. 

     God created man…us…our bodies. Doctors are there to help us. We need to find a doctor that meets our needs, and thinks along the same lines. With God in control. 
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Filed Under: God's Pharmacy, Managing Prescription Drugs, Physical Wellness, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: ,

The Trulywed Game~Episode Two

20 September, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Well, let me first be honest about this post. I had a hard time getting into Perry’s sermon this week…not because it wasn’t great, but because I was so frustrated with David! He fussed at me Sunday morning about being on my computer. I admit, I am on my computer a lot these days, but writing and photography require much computer time. So that being said, here’s part two of The Trulywed Game.



The title for this sermon was “Communicating to Encourage Closeness.” I found this title rather ironic considering our communication on the way to church!

“To develop emotional intimacy, I must display trustworthy character and deliver encouraging communication.”

Now being the proud and stubborn people David and I are, I don’t know which one of was communicating badly. David says I’m on the computer way too much and not being part of the family (even if I’m just doing mindless things like deleting bad pictures). I, however, think David is not supporting me in my photography and writing since he is fussing at me about being on the computer! Don’t get me wrong, he does support me, but I don’t know how I can possibly get everything done without spending some time around the family with my laptop. Suggestions here are welcome by the way!

How to Communicate to Encourage Closeness:

1) Display trustworthy character by demonstrating integrity, deciding to be faithful, and dealing with tasks. 

Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming! Song of Songs 2:15 (NLT)

I can honestly say I’ve never read that verse in the Bible. But the metaphor is so very true. How many little foxes do we let into our homes and lives every day? One little fox may not do too much damage, but before long, they can take over and a marriage and home can be destroyed. 

Nothing is more damaging to intimacy than when that little seed of doubt is planted. You know as well as I do that one little doubt put into our mind about our spouse being unfaithful is all it takes to make us see inconsistencies everywhere. We should have no secrets between each other. And yes…we should allow access to email, text, Facebook, or whatever communication we have with other people, especially if they’re of the opposite sex. We tend to want to argue, “If he trusted me, he wouldn’t need to see my text messages!” Yes, but if we are being completely trustworthy, we won’t care!

Those little “foxes” can be anything that gets in the way of intimacy–anything that causes your spouse for feel like you don’t care what they think…like spending money when you know you have it; or conveniently forgetting tasks that they’ve asked you to do that you really hate. Satan will send lots of foxes into our dens. We must be ready to trap them!  

We should never put ourselves in tempting situations, and if we are honest with ourselves, we’ll know exactly when they are. 

2) Deliver encouraging communication by recognizing our spouse’s insecurity, refusing to speak harshly, and repeating words of praise. 

After a full day at work, or wherever you are with people who take your time and energy, you come home exhausted without much left. 

…Treat your [spouse] with understanding as you live together. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)

If we stay in a constant state of frustration, intimacy cannot grow. We had a perfect example on Sunday! While David and I should have been listening to this sermon together and learning from it, it went more like this. David’s thinking, “I hope she’s listening to this so she can see I was right,” while I was thinking, “I really hope he heard that part about encouraging words and communication!”

Our culture today constantly hits us with outer beauty…the way we “should” look. As a spouse, if you are looking at health and fitness or beauty magazines, it will eventually make your spouse feel like they are being compared. We should always make our spouse feel nothing but secure…however we can. We know where our spouses are weak, and it’s our job to help them feel strong and secure in those areas. 

Intimacy should be protected as your greatest treasure.

In his “song,” Solomon expresses his love and adoration in a most sincere way…although I think standards have probably changed a little since then. But nevertheless, his love and adoration were sincere. Just for fun, enjoy this little presentation of “Solomon’s Beloved” by Vonda Skelton…It’s a must see. I promise you will have your laugh for the day! 



…discover beauty in everyone. Romans 12:17 (Msg)

From my heart, 
Celeste





Filed Under: Marriage Menders Tagged With: , ,

You Reap What You Sow. But Skunk Stink? Really?

14 September, 2011 by 4 Comments


Last Friday, I had a horrible, funny, but not horribly funny beginning to my day. When I was telling my friend Tonya what happened, she said, “I bet I’ll be reading about that in your blog soon!”
Also last week, I was listening to an audio class on speaking by Vonda Skelton (long time friend and now mentor). In her suggestions, she says to keep track of stories in your life that you might be able to find lessons in. 
So here goes…
I woke up Friday morning to my usual routine of letting the dogs out, getting the kids up, breakfast, lunch boxes, etc. I smelled something that seemed like it was coming from the bedroom. It was horrible! It kept working it’s way through the house toward the kitchen. It smelled like a skunk, and we often see them up on a road near our house, so I didn’t think much about it. As usual, we were in a hurry and needed to get out the door, so I rushed the kids out (they were gagging at this point, so for once they were in a hurry to get out), and went to the back door to let the dogs in. That’s when I realized…
Now just in case you don’t know me, my dogs are not just any dogs, they are Great Danes. Benji, at 130lbs, and Sofie, at 120lbs, reside inside with us at all times except to eat and potty. They are huge, spoiled rotten, babies. 
I look out the back door to let Benji in, and he looks like he has ants in his pants, prancing up and down on all four paws. His face, though, really told the story. He had three loooonng strands of drool hanging from his jowls like spaghetti noodles, and the white fur on his face and neck had sort of an ash gray tint to it. Hesitantly, I opened the door and thought I’d walked into my pharmacy school organic chemistry lab following a sulfur experiment gone wrong. For those who can’t identify, imagine jumping into the dump at your local convenience center. He’d been sprayed right in the face by a skunk! And Sofie, who is normally attached to Benji at the hip, was outside of her fence area at another door looking freaked out to say the least. 
We had to get out the door or we’d be late for school, so I reluctantly put them in their room and left. The car smelled like skunk too by this point, I guess from my clothes. I got the kids to school, stocked up supplies from the pet store and Publix, and headed home, armed and ready. When I returned home, I swear I could see green peppy-le-pew fumes seeping from the pores of my house. For five hours I scrubbed, sprayed, rinsed and washed everything that came in contact with skunk odor. Then, I put the dogs and me in the shower for a dawn dishwashing detergent shampoo, a white vinegar conditioner, and a de-skunking spray mousse. Rinse and repeat. 
After getting rid of every towel and rag I used and leaving the windows open all day, the kids were able to come home and not gag. It did take a full 24 hours to completely get rid of the skunk smell, but it did finally disappear. I am now a de-skunking expert, though I’m not sure it’s something I want to be known for. 
There is no way for me to prevent this from happening again. I can be there for cleanup, but I cannot prevent it. The dogs tangled with a skunk and got burned…sprayed. They had to reap what they had sown, and unfortunately, so did I! 
How often do we engage in some type of sin and have to reap the consequences? While we are doing whatever it is we shouldn’t be, we might think, “This is my decision, it’s my body, my money…I’m not hurting anyone but myself.” I’d be stretching it to say that Benji had those thoughts when he decided to pursue a skunk, but I am sure he was just thinking, “Oooohhhh, that’s a cool cat. Wonder if it wants to play?”…as he bounces towards it like Tigger. But while he was doing something he shouldn’t and got sprayed, it affected me as much, if not more, as it did him. 
Let me give you a “worst case scenario” here just to make you think. Let’s say I went out with some friends and decided to have a couple of glasses of wine at dinner. I don’t often drink, and all of my friends were drinking glass after glass and seemed fine. When it was time to go home, we all got in our cars and left. I felt a little funny, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Besides, all of my friends were drinking anyway and they were all driving. On my way home, my husband calls to see how close I am, and if I can stop by the grocery store for milk. As I pull into the grocery store, I really need to use the bathroom (from the wine I guess), so as I pull into my parking space, I reach over to grab my wallet from my purse so I can get inside quickly. Then I heard a “thud.” I immediately look up and see a woman frantically running toward the front of my car. Her little boy was retuning her buggy to the stall as I pulled in the space and I never saw him. His family and friends never got to see him alive again. 
I get goose bumps just writing such a story, even though it’s just an example, but how often are we in a hurry and do such things? Who’s to say that it wouldn’t have happened even if I’d never drank any of the wine? But now, no one would make that assumption. The police record would show my blood alcohol level and I would be charged with manslaughter with the involvement of alcohol. I could end up in prison. All for what? 
I could have made the decision to drink tea instead of the wine, or I could have ridden home with someone who had not been drinking. But instead, that one little instant decision cost the life of a little boy, and his family and friends lives would be changed forever. My life would be changed forever, whether I actually went to prison or not, just from having to live with what I’d done. My family would be changed, especially if I went to prison, but also having to deal with the guilt and grief I would endure for who knows how long. 
I’m sure you are getting the point here. We must reap what we sow. Yes, God can forgive our sins and make them as far as the east is from the west, but that does not take away the earthly consequences; for you and for others. 
I could just as easily have used another example. I’ve seen this one come to life more than I want to think about. Let’s say David and I are having marital problems. A co-worker of mine is having similar problems with his wife. So we go for a drink after work one night to have someone to talk to and “compare notes.” I’m not saying men and women cannot be friends, but we know in our heart when there is something more to it. This seemingly innocent situation can lead to broken families and divorce, financial problems, loss of jobs, depression, or even suicide. When we take part in a situation we know in our hearts to be wrong, there will eventually be consequences…sometimes an avalanche of consequences. Not just for us, but for anyone remotely attached to the situation. 
You might argue, “Bad things always happen to good people, who’s to say it was my fault and wouldn’t have happened anyway?” In a sense, I agree, and I know that God uses all things for his good, no matter what they originated from. But do you want to go through life wondering? Knowing that something you did could be the thing that began the destruction of someone else’s life?
Romans 8:28 tells us that God does use all things for his good, but he also tells us in Hebrews 9:27, And just as it is appointed for a man to die once, after that comes judgment. We will all certainly have to stand before God in judgment one day, and I know my list will be long. But I am working very hard to sow good seeds for the rest of my life so my harvest can produce good things for many. 
I have a friend who always says to her daughter, “make good choices!” as she’s running out the door. The girls think it’s funny sometimes, but if we all had that little voice in our head saying, “make good choices!” maybe we’d think twice about getting ourselves in precarious situations. 
…So let’s all MAKE GOOD CHOICES!
From my heart, 
Celeste
Filed Under: Just for Fun, Making Changes, Parenting Tips, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , ,

The Trulywed Game~Episode One

12 September, 2011 by 3 Comments


Remember “The Newlywed Game?” Well, we just started a series at our church this week called “The Trulywed Game.” All in the spirit of fun, they actually produced a mock video of the show, complete with hippie clothes and wigs. It was hilarious to watch, but the subject matter is not one to laugh about.

Did you know that 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Perry, our pastor, challenged everyone in the church to spend just five weeks…the length of this series…working on our marriage. I wish you could all hear his sermons, but I’ve decided to recap them here for you for the next five weeks in hopes that you will come away with a stronger marriage when this series is over.

Marriages and families are being attacked harder than ever. Satan uses jealousy, busy schedules, finances, kids, parents, sex, abuse…and the list goes on and on. David and I have had difficult times in our marriage for sure, and we have learned so much from our 22 years, but it’s a never-ending journey.

When God created man, he realized that man needed a helper, so he created woman from Adam’s rib. From his side. Not his foot or his head, but his side. God provided a woman for a man to complete him. Where a man is weak, a woman can fill that weakness. If we just look at the anatomy of a man and a woman, it’s obvious they were meant to complete each other!

Here are the three points Perry laid out in explaining God’s plan for marriage: 

1) Departing from home. 
    …a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife. Matthew 19:5

    God intends for us to leave our families and create a new family with our spouse. This doesn’t mean move away never to return, but it does mean to put our spouse above everyone else from now on. For the husband, it means making decisions for his new family, not letting his old family control him. Listening to advice, yes…control, no. I have a friend who’s been married for a while, and she often feels “second fiddle” to her mother-in-law. Her husband has had a difficult time leaving his father and mother and putting his wife on the pedestal now instead of his mother.

2) Developing oneness. 
    “…and the two are united into one.” Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split what God has joined together. Matthew 19:5-6

    Oneness is physical, yes, but it’s so much more than that. I have an old post “1+1=1” that you might wish to read if you haven’t. It’s about the sexual oneness that Christ intends (and how to explain that to a child). Here’s the link if you want to read it:


    But again, oneness is so much more than sex. There is really nothing that compares to the intimacy between an husband and wife when they keep talking, keep growing, and stay connected…together…as a team. Perry used the following formula: 

Intimacy = an ever-increasing closeness resulting from unending discovery

That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as parts of themselves. For since a man and his wife are now as one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife! Ephesians 5:28 (TLB)

As married couples living together, we cannot stop communicating with one another. Believe me, David and I have tried it and it does not work! Satan loves to keep us too busy, too frustrated, and too tired to put the effort into communicating, but before you know it, your marriage will slip into a coma, and you will be nothing but room mates trying to tolerate each other. You know when you find out about someone you know getting a divorce and they say, “we just grew apart,” or “we got married too young, and when we grew up we were too different?” Anyone who does not communicate and make a concentrated effort at a relationship will grow apart. The relationship will die. We are all changing throughout our entire life. It is impossible not to! We can make the choice…CHOICE…to grow together, or to grow separately. God’s intention is for us to grow together. 

When I look back on my marriage, there are so many things I wish I’d known. I believe that David and I got married too young, and if we’d waited five years later, I don’t know if we would have. When troubles came, I could have gotten all wrapped up in the thoughts that maybe we weren’t right for each other. Maybe he wasn’t that one perfect person I was destined to marry. But I don’t believe that there is necessarily one specific person for everyone. We made a choice. We made a commitment. Yes, we’ve had difficult times and fought through feelings that we made the wrong choice. But as we’ve grown, we’ve grown together. We’ve fought the fights together; we’ve celebrated the victories together. We do our very best to remember that we are on the same team. We have the same goals. When you live with someone day in and day out, that’s hard to remember sometimes. I have to remind myself every day that we are rooting for each other and working together to make our family and our lives the best they can be.

A quote from Perry here…“The fatal fall is not that you choose the wrong person, the fault is within.” 

3) Demonstrating acceptance.
    Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25 (NLT)

I’ve posted blogs about this before, including the one I referenced above. But the attitude of premarital sex among teens and adults, both Christian and non-Christian is scary. I believe it is one of the main reasons the divorce rate is so high. It’s not so much about what we may be doing outside of marriage, but what we are NOT doing inside of marriage. Let me explain that statement. If we are communicating with our spouses, giving unconditional love to them, and keeping them happy in the bedroom 😉 they won’t even be interested in anything outside the marriage! 

Men and women obviously think very differently, which is why God created us to complete each other. We just have to try and put ourselves in each other’s shoes. Women, you know how badly you’d like for the house to be clean and dinner to be cooked? Well, your hubby wants sex about four times that much! Try, try, and try to put yourself in his shoes. Talk to him and get him to explain to you what he is dealing with, whatever it is, and try to imagine how you would begin to handle it. I promise if you do this, you will begin to feel differently, and realize that you really are both on the same team! 

“The result of intimacy is that you can stop pretending to be somebody you’re not.” That is the best feeling in the world. When you can be completely comfortable with your spouse, physically and emotionally, it’s a bond that cannot be broken. That’s the marriage that God intended. If we have a past that includes other partners, it’s much harder to get to that point of intimacy in a marriage because it is difficult to get past the thought that we are being compared to someone else. That’s where God is so amazing. No matter where we are in life or what our past is, God can take us forward. Don’t put limitations on God by thinking that the past is too much to overcome.I have overcome the world, he says. 

I’ll leave you with one last quote from Perry,“If your spouse if really damaged [if they have a lot to overcome], it means that God knew you were really capable of endurance.”

During my seven years of hell as I call it, David had to put up with a lot. Now I’ve had to put up with a lot too, but he got it all concentrated into seven straight years with no break. But he endured, and he will tell you that the miracle I received on September 25th of last year was really his miracle. Maybe it was. I just know that our endurance, our persistence, our struggling together, and our celebrating together have landed us in a wonderful marriage, which would not have been possible without God. 

From my heart, 
Celeste



Filed Under: Marriage Menders Tagged With: ,

Overcome the fear of dying

11 September, 2011 by 1 Comment
Let me start today’s post by saying that we all need to remember the families of those who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001. I lost my dad to lung cancer on October 25th of that same year. It’s hard to believe 10 years has past. I can’t imagine having lost someone in such a terrible, nonsensical tragedy. Watching my dad die of lung cancer was certainly not easy. Death is tough. Death is horrible. If we had the knowledge of how we were going to die, I don’t believe we could function with any sense of normalcy. The thing is, though, we all will die. Every single one of us.
Just after the twin towers were hit on that dreadful day, several of my friends called or showed up in tears, totally unsure of everything. What happens when we die? Why does God let such things happen? 
Why are we even here? How can we live like this? 
Do you know people who live in fear? I have to say that I’m preaching to myself here. Do you know that I won’t fly on the same airplane as my husband if we are traveling without the kids? I’m afraid of leaving our kids parentless if our plane were to crash, so we fly separately and meet at our destination. Now is that irrational or what? I’m not afraid to die myself, just of leaving my kids without parents!
When my dad died, it was the saddest experience of my life. I knew, however, that my dad would be spending his eternity in Heaven. While he was in the hospital, before we ever knew his prognosis, he said, “Whether I live one day, six months, or ten years, I have no regrets and I’m ready to go.”
And I knew that about my dad. It comforted me.  I’m thankful he said those words, but I knew that’s how he felt without even if he never said it. 
The other thing that strangely comforted me was knowing that my dad was not singled out to die. No one targeted him as a human being different from others who would have to experience death. It was his time, but death comes for everyone’s dad, everyone’s mom, everyone’s sister, daughter, son, friend…you get the picture.
I don’t mean to be morbid, just factual. We all are going to die someday, somehow. So how do we handle it?
We must have an eternal perspective.
I like the way my hubby thinks about life and eternity…
He draws a timeline:
                
Beginning—-[-]—>———->———->———->———->Eternity
                        ^^
                      life
We have a long timeline from the beginning of time to eternity, and eternity never ends. Our life is but one little “blip” in that long timeline. It’s not the short experience of life and death that we should fear, but how we spend eternity. How we live this short little “blip” will determine how we spend eternity…in heaven or in hell. As long as we have Christ as our savior, we have absolutely nothing to fear. In fact, in death we have nothing to lose; we can only gain. In Philippians 1:21, Paul tells us, For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain. Here’s what C.S. Lewis says on that verse:
“What a state we have got into when we can’t say ‘I’ll be happy when God calls me’ without being afraid one will be thought ‘morbid.’ After all, St. Paul said just the same. If we really believe what we say we believe–if we really think that home is elsewhere and that this life is a ‘wandering to find home,’ why should we not look forward to the arrival? There are, aren’t there, only three things we can do about death: to desire it, to fear it, or to ignore it. The third alternative, which is the one modern world calls ‘healthy’ is surely the most uneasy and precarious of all.”
I am afraid of leaving my kids without parents, and if feasible, I will probably continue to fly separate from my husband because it give me some peace of mind. But that is the human in me, and I know it’s not rational. When God decides to take me home, it won’t matter what I’m doing. He is in control. The only thing I can do to calm my fears is to teach my children to also think with an eternal perspective. I must teach them that God is in control, he has a plan, and we must only accept and trust him. 
We need to stop thinking that this life is all we have, and we must teach that to our children as well. We need to stop being afraid of death. If we have Christ in our heart, we have nothing to fear. There is no one, absolutely no one, that can take eternity away from us. Satan will try, I promise, but he has no defenses against Christ. I have to quote my favorite verse here again: In this world you will have trouble, but take heart [fear not], for I have overcome the world (John 16:33). We just need to make sure that whenever, wherever, however it happens, we are ready. Ready to spend an incredible eternity in a place more wonderful than anywhere we could ever even imagine! 
From my heart, 


Celeste
Filed Under: Fighting Your Fears, Have an Eternal Perspective, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , ,

A Flavorful Life

10 September, 2011 by 1 Comment
Whenever I read or hear this verse, I can’t help but think of Grandpa.
Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.
He’s actually my grandpa-in-law, but I’ve always thought of him as my grandpa (I met my hubby when I was 13, so he’s been “grandpa” for more than two-thirds of my life!)
Whenever we have grandpa over to out house to eat, you’re guaranteed to hear this conversation:
“Pass the salt please”
(Shake shake shake shake shake shake shake)

“Is this stuff coming out?”
(taste)

“Is this real salt or that fake stuff you always use?”
(taste…shake shake shake shake)

“This isn’t real salt”

“When are you going to get the real stuff in this house?”
Grandpa just does not like sea salt. He wants the “real thing.”
He has led a full, happy life, and if too much salt is the only thing threatening his health, let him have it.
Grandpa has always lived a life of service to God and kindness to anyone with whom he comes in contact. He’s spent his life sprinkling his salt on all those around him and therefore has lived a very “flavorful” life.
A life without Jesus is not satisfying. No matter what you try to substitute, Jesus is the “real thing.”
Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? (Luke 14:34).
Today is Grandpa’s 98th birthday. If I make it to 98 years old, I hope that my life have been spent sprinkling my salt on others and reflected on as a flavorful life.
Grandpa is still making sure his salt tank stays full so he can continue to sprinkle it’s contents until he needs it no longer. We are taking Grandpa to dinner for his birthday tonight, and since we are going to a restaurant, I’m sure the salt will be the “real thing.” And even though we are eating Italian, don’t think for a minute you won’t hear, “Pass the salt please.”
I now keep “real” salt in my house… just for Grandpa.
From my heart,


Celeste
Happy Birthday Grandpa!
Filed Under: How to be Happy, Just for Fun, Living in Faith, Living with Purpose Tagged With: , ,

Dr. God

7 September, 2011 by 1 Comment
 


     We have always heard God referred to as “father,” but how often do we really think of him as our father? Our daddy? It’s hard because he is not tangible. We cannot touch or hug him. But when he created us, he gave us the ability to have faith. We just have to tap into it. With faith, we can use our imagination to imagine him sitting on the sofa with us talking; sitting at the kitchen table while we do read our Bible; wrapping his arms around us when we are hurting. All we have to do is take the step to go there.
     Now let’s take it a step further. God is our father, and he wants us to talk to him and get to know him just as we would our earthly father. But he is also the great physician. Our great physician. So why do we rely so heavily on doctors and medicine to help us? I’ve quoted this before, but it definitely bears repeating:
     “If God’s aim is to grant perfect health to all his children, he has failed, because no one enjoys perfect health, and everyone dies. But if God’s aim is to expand the boundaries of his kingdom, then he has succeeded. For every time he heals, a thousand sermons are preached.”~Max Lucado
     When I had my first seizure, it was a total shock. It came completely out of nowhere. Here was my thought process: “What in the world happened to my brain and why? How am I possibly going to keep from driving for 6 months with three kids? Well, maybe somehow this is God’s way of protecting me from an accident or something.” Then, after a few months I thought, “You know, David and I have gotten to spend much more time together since I haven’t been able to drive. It’s really been good for us.” I was looking for what God was teaching me. But then, after I had the second seizure when I broke my nose and ended up with sinus surgery, my focus shifted. Rather than rely on God and look for what he was teaching me, I began to try to figure out how I could fix myself. The ‘sciency’ pharmacist in me began to search for a cure. That’s when the snowball turned into an avalanche, and for seven years I was lost…searching…in all the wrong places. 
     As a child, we need our daddy to “make me feel better.” As adults, whether our dads are still with us or not, we must rely on our heavenly father to make us feel better. Well, God is not only our father, but also the great physician. We can rely on him for comfort in times of need, but we can also rely on him for healing. He WILL heal us if we accept, love, and get to know him personally. But here’s the catch: God has so much good stuff in store for us, but it may not be here on this earth. He has perfect health for us, but it may not be here on this earth. We will have to endure tough stuff while we live in this world. He tells us in John 16:33: In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world. He will heal us, but it may be through death and entrance into heaven. 
      We think of our lifetime as lasting forever, because our human brains cannot comprehend eternity. But in reality, the span of time we spend here on earth is like a drop in the ocean compared to eternity. The sooner we can focus on the bigger picture, accept what we have here do what God wants us to with it, the sooner we can find peace, contentment, and happiness in our life here because we know it’s in preparation for bigger things to come. I’m not saying to just accept bad things as your fate in life…we just can’t have a victim mentality. I’m just saying if we take what God has given us, and look for ways to use our life for him, we will find peace and will be rewarded abundantly. 
      So let’s rely on God, our heavenly father, our great physician, to lead and guide us through whatever we are going through. Use his words to find comfort and healing. Imagine his loving arms around you and his peace flowing over you. I have Marlee imagine Jesus wrapping his arms around her every night when she is in bed saying her prayers. Please don’t roll your eyes…I know, it might seem silly to some. But if you can just do what he says when he tells us to “Be still and know that I am God,” the intangible will actually become tangible…real. If you are still enough and quiet enough, you can feel him. 
     “Be still…”
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Filed Under: Beating Depression, Brain Functions, Chronic Illness, God's Pharmacy, Living in Faith, Overcoming Addiction, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , ,

What I learned from Rudy Giuliani…

6 September, 2011 by Leave a Comment
A few weeks ago, David and I went to a big motivation seminar held in downtown Greenville. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Rudy Giuliani spoke about something that’s
fascinating and frustrating to me these days…the “almighty” internet. 
With the invention of the internet, we have “knowledge” at our fingertips and it travels faster than we are capable of dealing with. Computer knowledge is necessary to live in this century. It’s here, and it’s here to stay. The problem is, however, that we have stopped thinking for ourselves. We are becoming a manipulated society. 
One of the problems I have with this computer generation is how we are becoming so accustomed to immediate gratification. With health issues, it is frustrating because as patients, we punch in our symptoms on the keyboard and the computer generates a list of possibilities. Within an hour or so, we have diagnosed ourselves! Let me give you an example of a pharmacist “friend” of mine…
She was seven months pregnant, had an eight-year-old and four-year-old also, and a husband who happened to be out of town. After work, she went to retrieve her children, and her mom commented about a “bump” on her forehead. She had thought it was just a weird zit! In a panic, her mom said, “You call the dermatologist in the morning and you tell him you have to be seen immediately! That looks exactly like what Nita’s daughter had and it was melanoma!” 
Well, since she was a pharmacist, she knew to just look it up on the computer and she would see it was nothing. SO…after getting the kids to bed, she finally sat down at the computer around midnight. By 1:00 a.m. she was convinced that she was dying of melanoma and would be leaving her husband with three kids to raise alone. That made for one long, sleepless night. 
Anybody had a similar experience? I’m sure you’ve realized that that “friend” was me. As a pharmacist, I should have known better! The sad thing is I have gone to the computer more than once for my need for immediate gratification, and more than once I’ve come to the wrong conclusion.
To keep us thinking for ourselves and not relying on Sir Google, Mr. Giuliani suggested five things we must do to keep our minds active and maintain our ability to think independently:
1) Read books–have a basis to make your own decisions. Don’t just read other people’s opinions about what they’ve read. 
2) Listen–to other people. Seek advice from people you look up to and believe in. You can become a leader by learning from other successful people. 
3) Take notes–never stop writing. Write your thoughts, goals, lists…keep the parts of your mind active that make you an individual.
4) Take five minutes every day to just STOP–relax, pray, stop your world for a few minutes.
5) Most importantly, we must care and love other people. The computer tends to isolate and disconnect us from people. Sure we have Facebook and email, and they are great ways to communicate. But they don’t allow us to see the heart of people or minister to their needs. 
Coming from the person in charge of NYC when the twin towers were hit on 9/11/2001, I wanted to listen.  The Rudy Giuliani I watched handle that chaos and tragedy obviously had standards and values in place that helped him. While he relied on computers and statistics to help New York recover from that tragedy, it was his willingness to listen to people one on one and his compassion for them that made the difference in those months after September 2001. He prayed and asked God’s guidance in knowing the right steps to take. He relied on his heavenly father for wisdom and instruction. While it was one of the toughest times our country has endured, I consider Rudy Giuliani a man of great character and principal, and someone to learn from. 
I thought his “five things” were very interesting. I find myself doing all of those things these days, though I would have never put them together in a list on thinking independently. I realized, though, that during my seven years of depression, I didn’t want to do any of those things. I didn’t want to read books to because I just wanted to mindlessly watch television so I didn’t have to think about my world. I got to a point where I didn’t want to seek advice of others because I was convinced it was hopeless. I never thought writing things down would help me, although I’d been told to try it more than once. I prayed, but it was selfish prayer. I was too busy being self-absorbed in my own pity party to worry about anyone else long enough to actually do something that required effort. 
I wonder now how much sooner I could have overcome the depression if I had made the items on this list a priority? Hmmm…
From my heart, 
Celeste
Filed Under: Beating Depression, Handling Stress, How to be Happy, Living in Faith, Making Changes, The Power of Prayer, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“It’s all in your mind.”

5 September, 2011 by 5 Comments
Has someone ever said to you, “It’s all in your mind?” It’s a funny and not so funny thing that my dad used to always say those words to me, and now my husband does! It made me crazy then, and it makes me crazy now. HOWEVER (and I promise you these words WILL come back to haunt me), we can train ourselves to think in a way that can change our mind, our hearts, and our world.
How often do you decide you want to change something about yourself? Or start something new? We are always growing and changing as our life progresses, yet we are also creatures of habit. I blogged about this same topic called “Small Beginnings” if you’d like to read that post as well, you can see it here:
I can’t tell you how many times I decided I would change my diet and threw away everything in my pantry; how many times I decided to get in shape and spent 3 hours at the gym, then couldn’t get out of bed the next day; decided to “spring clean” and cleaned out so much stuff at one time I had a bigger mess than when I started! 
In all of these situations, I set myself up for failure. It has taken me a LONG time to learn, but in order to really change, you must take small steps. If you are making a positive change in your life, and you begin to see good in the first small steps, you will eagerly await the next one. 
For example, if you want to diet, the first logical step would be to replace all of your beverages with water for two weeks. After that time is up, water will be a natural choice for you, you may have already lost a little weight, and you’ll be ready to take the next small step…like walking for 30 minutes a day. 
If you want to save money, make a conscious decision to eat at home instead of eating out when you normally would, then put what you would have spent aside and see how much you have saved in two weeks. This will “train” your mind to realize that even small things can make a difference. 
If you want to have the uncluttered home you’ve always coveted, spend 25 minutes a day devoted ONLY to cleaning out clutter. Do not tackle more than you can accomplish in 25 minutes, and then make the commitment to yourself NOT to let that area get cluttered again. Little by little, this will become a way of thinking, and in just 6 months to a year, you might just have that house you always wanted! (oh…and when you declutter, put whatever you are getting rid of in a black trash bag and get it OUT OF THE HOUSE…to go to trash, good will, consignment, wherever, just don’t leave it in the house.)
Now, all of these things are obviously things I’ve done, and am still doing. Each one of these areas of my life gets easier every day. But without the steps I’ve taken every day to get to know my Jesus better, none of these other things would matter. They are all in this life, here and now. We need to be happy here and now, but we also must know that none of these things will matter someday. So while me make little changes to shape our life here, we must also make little changes to shape our life there…in eternity. 
Begin to do small thing each day to get to know Jesus better. Find a good non-fiction book to read to begin teaching you about your Jesus. “The Purpose Driven Life” comes to mind since I’ve blogged about it recently. “Seeing Through the Lies” is a book by Vonda Skelton my bible study is about to start. Another book to begin to change the way you think is “Crazy Love” by Frances Chan. Don’t go to the bookstore and get a Beth Moore bible study right off the bat, or you’ll probably find it sitting alone on your desk next week untouched. They are wonderful, but time consuming. Start small. Just read a book. A little each day.
Maybe make “Fireproof” your Friday night rental. Make WLFJ the station you listen to in your car. Before long, you’ll realize that you are getting to know your Jesus, and you’ll want more of him. You may begin to see and feel changes that surprise you! 
I have not always known Jesus personally, even though I claimed him as my savior. I believe many Christians are in the same boat I’ve been in most of my life. It took seven years of sheer hell…severe depression, migraine headaches, grand mal seizures, and prescription drug addiction…to make me see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that light was Jesus. Plain and simple. I pray that this blog, and the hard lessons I have learned, might help someone else NOT have to learn them the hard way. I’d like to know that the horrid seven years I endured weren’t just for me. I want them to be for you too. 
“It’s all in your mind” is a statement that frustrates. It’s overwhelming. And I think it may be a little sexist since it seems to be men that love to say it! =o/ But if we can begin to do small things, we can begin to change the big things. If we change our habits, we will change our thoughts. If we change our thoughts, we will change our world. 
From my heart, 
Celeste
Filed Under: Making Changes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,