Archives for October 2011

Who’s behind your mask?

31 October, 2011 by 3 Comments

Have you ever seen the movie, Point Break, with Patrick Swayze? I’ll never forget it. Not because Patrick was in it (though that was memorable), not because of the surfing and huge waves in the movie, but because of those stupid masks they wear at the beginning to rob the bank. There are four robbers, each wearing the mask of a US President. Doesn’t sound like big deal, right? For whatever reason, those masks completely freaked me out! I had nightmares about them for weeks!


I used to love scary movies. Halloween has never bothered me…haunted houses, scary masks, trick-or-treating…I loved it all. So what was it about the masks in that movie that disturbed me? 

They weren’t scary masks. They were masks of good people, worn by some seriously not good people.  

I’ve spent the last five days at the Christian Communicators Conference at Lake Keowee, South Carolina– Twenty-four women in one house who all want to be speakers. Can you imagine? We had to have scheduled quiet time every day like preschoolers, and preschoolers would have probably been better at being quiet than we were! But I digress…

I was so blessed by the transparency of all of these women. After only four days them, I’d made a connection with each and every one. They wear no masks. We are all women who have gone through different struggles in life, all trying to use our experiences to help others in similar situations. No judgment. The blood of Jesus Christ covers us all. No need for judgment. 

Once we can accept the gift of the cross that God gave us through his son Jesus, there is no need for masks. 

No need to worry about being judged by others. It’s only God’s judgment we need to worry about. Go back and read the verse on today’s prescription above. As Christians, we are to be ourselves; unashamed of our past or who we are, because we are covered by the blood of Christ. He calls us to share his truth with everyone, but how will they believe if they cannot see the work he’s done in us? 

In the movie, the robbers chose those US President masks to hide so they would not be punished for the crime they were committing. If they did not have the masks, do you think they would have robbed the bank? If they knew everyone would see who they truly were, wouldn’t they have been more likely to obey the law and act more honorably? 

It’s time to shed those good masks. Masks of deception. They may look good from the outside, but they also prevent you from healing on the inside. God calls us to be transparent and unashamed.

So when Halloween is over tonight, take off those masks for good! 
From my heart,

Celeste


Filed Under: How to be Happy, Living in Faith, Making Changes, Real Relationships, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , , ,

If I’d only known…

19 October, 2011 by Leave a Comment

I am a fixer. When someone opens their heart to tell me their struggles, I automatically go into problem solving mode. Whatever the problem, big or small, my brain goes into overdrive and I just know I can solve it. If it’s a subject I know, like medicine, good. If it’s a problem I know nothing about, I try to learn how to help or find someone else who can. I believe this characteristic is part of the reason God allowed me to go through seven years of a whole bunch of stuff. I want to share with you two very important lessons I learned during my seven years battle with grand mal seizures, migraine headaches, and severe depression. 


First, you never truly know how people feel until you have walked in their shoes.


During my first fourteen years as a pharmacist, I struggled with wanting to help my customers with their medical issues. I could tell them all about their medication, side effects, drug interactions, etc. What I did not know, however, is how they felt. I dispensed antidepressants, pain medication, anti-anxiety medication, and sleeping pills every day, but couldn’t understand the desperation they felt in their quest for relief. Well, God had a remedy for my problem. Beginning with migraines and then a seizure out of nowhere, followed by pain and depression, I received first hand training in empathy.  



Second, no matter how much you want to help someone else with their problem, they must be ready to help themselves.



This one is frustrating. Now that I am on the other side of my struggle, I can see so clearly why I struggled so long. I had to learn the hard lessons myself. I was given advice time and time again to improve my health. Some good, some bad, and some just far-fetched and silly. The advice of the Godly people around me was good advice, but I could not or would not receive it.  For whatever reason, I had to learn the lessons myself. God let me get to the end of myself before I could completely and honestly surrender myself to Him.I am still a problem solver, but I go about it in a little different way. Instead of trying to fix a problem, I try to help find a solution to the problem. The solution starts with Christ. Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you. Matthew 6:33 (ESV)I now find myself older and wiser. It’s a shame those two traits go hand in hand. If I’d only known then what I know now…


From my heart,

Celeste


Filed Under: Living with Purpose, Real Relationships, The Power of Prayer, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: ,

Help, I’m in pain!

14 October, 2011 by 3 Comments
     Have you ever seen a house that was taken over by stray cats? It all starts with just one stray cat. You feed it. It has kittens. You feed them. They have kittens, and so on and so on and so on. You end up with around 50 cats living in, under, and around your house, waiting to be fed. You get more food because you are feeding more cats. It becomes an out of control situation. What happens if you don’t feed them? They come to the door, to your feet, and pester you to death until you until you do! They get on your nerves, they might even get mean, and scratch or bite you.
     This is an analogy to help understand what happens to our brain when we take narcotics for pain like Lortab, Vicodin, or Oxycodone. Our brains have receptors that tell us when we are in pain. For the sake of explanation, lets say we normally have 10 receptors. Drugs in the narcotic class are the only drugs that truly block those receptors to relieve pain. Narcotics taken for short periods of time are typically not a problem. But when we keep feeding narcotics to those receptors, they begin to multiply like stray cats. Where we once had 10 receptors that perceive pain, we now have 100, or 500, or 1000. So what do we do? We have to feed them more. They continue to multiply. What happens if we take that narcotic away? Those receptors attack more ferociously that any amount of cats ever could. This is physical addiction. Narcotics will actually change the chemistry of our brains.
     When I began having migraines and seizures, I was prescribed a narcotic to use when the pain could not be controlled any other way. I took it off and on as needed, only it seemed like I needed it more and more often. My pain tolerance got lower and lower. When I ended up taking Lortab for two months after a seizure, broken nose, and sinus surgery, I couldn’t go off of it without throwing up constantly. My receptors were out of control. At this point, any tolerance I had at all completely disappeared. I struggled as my brain and body screamed for relief. 
     When God healed me and I became free from all medication, a floodlight came on in my brain. I looked back over my journey and realized something about pain I’d never realized before. When I began using pain medicine off and on to relieve migraines, my headaches intensified. Then when I began taking it even more often, the headaches were unbearable. The increased receptors in my brain were causing my perception of pain to be worse. Now that I have been off all medication for over a year, the migraines that once sent me to a dark room in tears are now just headaches. They are unpleasant and aggravating, but they no longer stop me in my tracks. 
     True, full-blown addiction typically requires help. It’s a tough battle to win, but with God, nothing is impossible. My focus here is on the millions of people every day who take just one Lortab at bedtime to be able to sleep, or just one Oxycontin in the morning to allow them to be able to work. Taking small maintenance doses of a narcotic increases pain receptors just enough to increase pain perception. We may think it’s the pain that is worsening when it might just be the perception of pain is higher because of the receptors. 
     God created those pain receptors in our brain–just the right amount–because we need to perceive pain to know when something is wrong. He made us in His image. He didn’t intend for those receptors to torture us, but when we feed them too often, they grow. And grow and grow and grow.  If you are taking a low maintenance dose of a narcotic, you probably perceive your pain to be worse than it really is. If you can stop taking it long enough for your brain to get back to normal, I bet you’d realize the pain isn’t nearly as bad as it once was. Give it a try if you can. Believe me, I never thought I’d see the day that a migraine headache didn’t send me screaming to a dark, quiet room for the duration.
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Filed Under: Managing Prescription Drugs, Overcoming Addiction Tagged With: , , ,

The Trulywed Game~Episode Five: Languages of Love

11 October, 2011 by 2 Comments
Well throughout this sermon series on marriage, I’ve squirmed in my seat, been lovingly “nudged” by my hubby, and turned red in the face. Hopefully Perry won’t step on my toes quite so much during the next series! This post concludes “The Trulywed Game” as we discuss the Languages of Love. Perry’s words are in blue, my added thoughts in black…and here’s the link if you’d like to watch the sermon (and the conclusion of “The Trulywed Game” itself) ~ http://www.brookwoodchurch.org/mediaplayer
The way to improve marital intimacy is communicating love so my spouse will understand. 
Gary Chapman came out with the book, “The Five Love Languages” years which Perry based this sermon on. Learning your spouse’s love language (and your children’s) makes for a much happier home. 
Five ways to communicate love: 
1) Words
     
Some people thrive on words of praise. If you grew up in a home of constant praise, it may be what you expect. If you grew up in a home of constant criticism and lack of praise, you might crave praise in your current relationship. 
Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim. Proverbs 15:4 (Msg)
When you live with someone, lets face it; they can get on your nerves. Their bad traits come front and center, and their good traits get lost in the shuffle. Sometimes we have to go back and remember why we married them in the first place. To get past the “life” that happens every day, it takes work to see and put emphasis on the qualities that you love about your spouse. I find that if I’m bragging about David to someone else, I name all of the things I love about him. I need to do that more often! 
When you do praise your spouse, your words must be sincere and honest, without attached criticism. 
2) Time
This one is high on the list of David’s love languages. How many of you multitask? I think I drive myself and everyone around me crazy trying to do five things at once, and if I’m not doing them, I’m thinking that I need to be. This is an area I need to work on. When I am spending time with David, it needs to be time spent focusing on our relationship (not sitting on the sofa beside him working on my laptop…that was last night =o/).
My lover said to me, “Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!…The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come…” Song of Songs 2:10, 12 (NLT)
He escorts me to the banquet hall; it’s obvious how much he loves me. Song of Songs 2:4 (NLT)
Sometimes it’s necessary to dress up, put on those heels or fancy tie and go on a date. Taking the time to get uncomfortable and do something your spouse likes to do will speak volumes if time is their love language. 
3) Gifts
I’m making jewelry for you, gold and silver jewelry that will mark and accent your beauty. Song of Songs 1:10-11 (Msg)
A quietly given gift soothes an irritable person; a heartfelt present cools a hot temper. Proverbs 21:14 (Msg)
If receiving gifts is your spouse’s love language, one of the best ways to communicate that message is to know them well enough to actually know what gifts they like! If your wife always wears black and white, a bright yellow sundress might not be the best choice. 
Always buying on the markdown rack might send the wrong message. =o)  (Thanks, Perry!)
4) Service
This is a big one for me. Have you ever seen the ultimate book of porn for women? In it you’ll find photos of men (fully dressed) vacuuming, washing dishes, taking out trash, etc. I love it! 
Serve each other with love. Galatians 5:13 (NCV)
Rebekah said to Jacob: “Go out to the flocks, and bring me two fine young goats. I’ll use them to prepare your father’s favorite dish.” Genesis 27:9 (NLT)
Service is also an important love language for David, especially when it comes to his stomach! Even if we’re having peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, he always says they taste better when I fix them! 
5) Touch
I found the one my heart loves. I threw my arms around him. I didn’t let him go… Song of Songs 3:4 (WORD)
Again, this love language is important to David as well (I might as well just focus on all five the keep this man happy!) 
I am almost five years younger than David. When we were dating, I felt uncomfortable showing much affection in public, because I didn’t want it to look like I was “hanging” all over him. I was just worried what other people would think. David, on the other hand, wanted me to hold his hand and put my arms around him in public. To him, showing affection in public made it obvious to people that I loved him and was proud to be with him. 
One mistake we can easily make is using our own love language to try to communicate with our spouse. That doesn’t work. Washing dishes and vacuuming does not show David that I love him, no matter how much I do it! I have to communicate my love to him through his love language. 
How do I discover my mate’s love language(s)?
1) Observe how my spouse expresses love (we most often express love how we want to be loved).
2) Listen to what my spouse requests most often. 
3) Offer choices between options representing different love languages. 
…Let us practice loving each other… 1 John 4:7 (TLB)
It’s a shame Rosetta Stone doesn’t have software for this! 
From my heart, 

Celeste




Filed Under: Marriage Menders, Real Relationships, Uncategorized Tagged With:

Shredding away my past…

6 October, 2011 by 2 Comments

Although it’s fall, I spent the week spring-cleaning…

Yesterday, I spent the morning shredding 4 years worth of insurance statements. Since my seizures have disappeared, I’ve been on the search for new insurance and decided it was time to get rid of all paperwork for claims that have been closed. I really did not expect to take a journey back in time while I was shredding! 

As I picked up pages to put in the shredder, I caught words here and there…ambulance, emergency, x-ray, fracture, prescription, …and they did not bring back good memories. Dates tied random words to the place and situation in which the seizures occurred. For seven years my memory was really fuzzy from the seizures and medications, but yesterday, my memory was crystal clear. Several of my seizures happened in public places like Wal-Mart, The Glazing Pot, and Gray Court Pharmacy. You’d have thought Wal-Mart was on fire when I had them there. All because of a seizure, I got two fire trucks, and police car, and an ambulance.  I had one in Park City, Utah while we were on vacation, so of course sirens screamed all the way to the hotel, where lots of people took notice. Trevor and I were alone in the hotel room and he handled it all! One of my seizures happened at home while I was alone with Miranda and Marlee. They were in the bath at the time, and Miranda found me about twenty minutes later with our Great Danes hovering over me. There was a puddle of blood about two feet wide under my head from breaking my nose. It’s truly a blessing I don’t actually remember the seizure and seeing people react to them; I want no memory of my children’s faces in the aftermath. But I do remember the events after I regained consciousness, which usually took about an hour. They are NOT good memories. 

I let seizures define me for seven years. I felt like a victim. I let the depression that went with each seizure build on the one before, driving me further and further into the hole of isolation I’d dug for myself. That was not God’s plan. He wanted me to turn to Him. He wanted me to see His strength in my weakness. 

I finished shredding all four years worth of statements (three garbage bags full). Four miserable years of my past represented in those garbage bags, shredded beyond recognition. No more reminders and a new insurance plan in the works. 
My past is past. It is gone. I cannot and will not go back. I wish I’d realized sooner that it was only God who could heal me and maybe I wouldn’t have turned to so many other ways to “fix” myself. But now, God has wiped it away, as far as the east is from the west, and He didn’t even have to use a shredder! He just wanted me to turn to Him. 
From my heart,

Celeste
Filed Under: Beating Depression, Freedom in Christ, How to be Happy, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , ,

The Trulywed Game~Episode Four: Achieving the “Big O”

3 October, 2011 by Leave a Comment




You have to watch the podcast. If you are married, have a boyfriend, have children, or are still in the planning phase, this sermon will change your way of thinking. I am only going to highlight Perry’s main points and give you some of my thoughts (his points are in blue). I’ll bet you’ve never heard a sermon like this before!

Here is the link. If you cannot access it directly from here, just copy and paste it into your browser…

http://www.brookwoodchurch.org/mediaplayer

Over the last 4 weeks, Perry has preached a sermon series on God’s plan for marriage. He has discussed emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, and this week is physical intimacy. Glad you can’t see me…my face is red just typing this! 

I grew up as a “good little Southern Baptist,” and knew my list of “thou shalt not’s.” Of course sex was high on that list. In my mind, it was forbidden, so it must be bad. On television, the only time sex is “shown” is between two people who are not married. It’s either teenagers having premarital sex, or it’s a married man or woman in an affair. Hollywood only portrays a worldly view of sex. We never see it portrayed as the wonderful God-given gift that it is. 

Physical intimacy results from becoming one sexually with my spouse. 

1) Appreciate the spiritual nature of intercourse. He designed it to be a supernatural encounter, never intended to be experienced without a spiritual dimension. (See 1 Corinthians 6:13-20) 

Now I don’t know about you, but I am rarely praying during sex! We have been so programmed to see sex as a physical act; we forget that God actually created it! When we have “the talk” with our kids, we explain sex physically, not spiritually. Not long ago, Marlee (my 8-year-old) asked me, “What is sex?” I truly believe that God gave me the answer. First, I asked her what she thought it was so I wouldn’t give her information she wasn’t ready for. Her reply was “when a married couple lays in the bed together naked.” 
So I explained it to her like this…

“You know when a mommy breastfeeds her baby? Well, God designed us that way. During that ‘skin to skin’ contact, a bond is formed between and a mommy and her baby that no one else would ever have. God intended for a man and woman to have a similar bond when they are married. They have that ‘skin to skin’ contact they never share with anyone else. It’s a bond they have together for life. They become one.”

2) Act according to God’s direction. 

Honor marriage, and guard against the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. Hebrews 13:4 (Msg)

Sex has taken the place of kissing from a few decades ago. Sex should grow from a permanently committed love. It should not be depended on to stimulate love. 

When David and I first had talk to our kids about sex, we even had the thought, “In this day and time, the best we can probably do is make them wait at least until after high school, when they are in a serious relationship that might be forever.” Now of course we want them to wait until marriage, but we were trying to be realistic. SHAME ON US! God created sex, and has a purpose for it. Are we to believe that he made us incapable of waiting until we’re married? NO. The “true love waits” road may not make us popular, but it will be what allows us to experience the real intimacy of sex inside marriage. 

There is no freedom without restraints. Think about that statement. It applies to everything that is good in our lives. Without boundaries, there would be no such thing as freedom. 

3) Accommodate my spouse’s needs. Read 1 Corinthians 7:3-5. 

Does this mean we have to do anything our spouse wants? No. Does it mean we need to have open communication? Yes. Hebrews 13:4 tells us that the marriage bed is undefiled. Inside marriage there is room to try new things. Continue discovering each other as long as you are in agreement. 

4) Attempt to attain oneness. That’s the “Big O”~ Oneness. 

Read Genesis 2:18, 22-25. The end of that passage says …a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.  Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. 

True intimacy grows from a relationship where your body and your heart must be naked. The relationship must be one of complete acceptance. The goal of sex is unification, not just pleasure. It is a soul-deep bond that develops when people in a committed marriage love and serve each other. 

As Christians, it’s time we quit letting the world determine what sex is or what it can be. As parents, we need to teach our children about the awesome gift of sex God gave us, and how amazing it can be when we use it as God planned. As spouses, we need to stick with God’s plan.

When my lover looks at me, he is delighted with what he sees. Song of Solomon 8:10

Sunday morning (before hearing this sermon), David and I were laying in the bed talking, and he looked over at me and said, “You know, seeing you laying there on that pillow, you look exactly the same as you did when we got married.” Now of course he was just looking at my head, not the extra bulges that have appeared in the last 22 years, but my first thought was, “Okay, what does he want.” But believe it or not, he just wanted to tell me. 



I’m sure we have the same problems and arguments that any married couple does, but when this area of our life is good, we can handle those problems together. We are one. 
From my heart, 

Celeste






Filed Under: Marriage Menders Tagged With: