Celeste Vaughan |

How you can beat opiate addiction~a first step [infographic]

29 August, 2019 by Celeste Vaughan Leave a Comment

BE transparent. Opening up about problems is freeing to you and gives other courage to do the same. In addiction, this can be life-saving.

(The quote from the photo above is from Rachel Hollis).

Transparency+ God+Medical Assistance+Commitment=Freedom from addiction. This is the best formula to beat drug addiction.

This is actually a repost from a few years ago, but I’ve had several people want a copy of the poem at the end so I thought I’d repost.

Since I posted this in 2013, I think our United States has finally recognized the ongoing opiate problem we have and are trying to get laws into effect to prevent addiction. It’s way too late for some, but hopefully my children and grandchildren won’t ever have to face opiate addiction. It’s brutal.

I can’t even count the number of people I’ve known and heard of who have died of opiate addiction since I wrote this post in 2013. The statistics would blow you away. Also since I first wrote this, there is a new player in the illegal drug game…Carfentanyl. It’s a derivative of fentanyl which is used in hospitals fairly regularly. Carfentanyl, however, is 100 times more potent. The illegal drugs such as Heroin and Marijuana and are being laced with Carfentanyl, and the unknowing recipient is dead before the needle ever leaves their arm. Scary, huh!

I thought I’d include an infographic here that may make things more clear:

Drug Abuse, Opiate Addiction, How people become addicted to opiates

But…there is life after addiction! I never thought I’d feel normal again without opiates in my system, but I’m here to tell you I do. My life is incredible and filled with blessings.

If you are battling any type of drug addiction, you are not alone. Sadly, in some groups you could be in the majority. One of the best things you can do is talk to someone. Be transparent about it. A huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders and you’ll have someone supporting you or going through it with you. It’s amazing to watch when one person speaks up, it easily becomes a chain reaction…a reaction that can lead to healing.

Here’s the rest of the original post and the poem at the end. Please share and print the poem if you know anyone who might benefit from it!

Pills…pills…pills…are taking over our families! How have we come to this? I remember seeing a video about the communist manifesto that discussed the best way to destroy America. From the inside-out. Look at the change in our values and laws over the last 50 years. Look at the infiltration of pornography on television and the internet. The availability of alcohol. The availability of drugs…prescriptions and the illegal ones. I can tell you if I know where to get marijuana, everyone does.

I didn’t know the boy who died of an overdose, but I don’t need to. All I need to know is that he was a son, brother, grandson, great-grandson, nephew, and friend. I pray that he also carried Jesus in his heart and is with him in Heaven right now. The alternative, though very real, is not one I like to think of.

Prescriptions drug overdoses are claiming more lives every day. People—often teenagers—taking them for recreational use have no idea what they can do to you. While their brain thinks it can handle the “high” dose, their lungs and heart cannot. In an instant, their life is over.

Parents are burying their children.

Friends are burying friends.

Brothers are burying brothers.

People who are addicted to prescription drugs as a result of medical reasons end up needing more and more to relieve their pain, withdrawals, or whatever the case may be. Again, their brain think the dose can is needed, but their heart ceases to beat and their lungs cease to inhale.

Anyone abusing prescription pain medications—no matter what the reason—is fighting a battle in their mind. The classic battle between good and evil, Jesus and Satan. The battle being fought is both physical and spiritual To overcome addiction, I can tell you from experience physical assistance is just not enough. A divine intervention is needed.

A young girl, Ashley, who lost her battle to drugs wrote a poem describing life on drugs is like…the horror actually being offered to us when presented with the decision to use drugs. I took her poem, and added a “rebuttal,” if you will, to show the life than Jesus offers everyone. We must only accept.

Here’s the poem. Please read it slowly and share with anyone whom it might help. If you’d like to have a copy, you can upload a PDF version and print for free by clicking HERE.

warondrugspage4 — Jesus is the first step to beating drug addiction. Without Him, all other efforts are likely to fail. God is good and He wants you to beat this!

Filed Under: Addiction, BLOG POSTS, Freedom in Christ, Living in Faith, Managing Prescription Drugs, Overcoming Addiction

The Migraine Miracle You’d Never Believe

23 June, 2018 by Celeste Vaughan 36 Comments

Okay I’ll admit it, I’ve been slack keeping up with this blog. I had a few guest bloggers, but I didn’t feel like their content was always relative and it was starting to feel like someone else’s blog. Life has happened big time.

College graduation, engagement, daughter’s wedding, a son graduating and starting at Clemson, a middle schooler entering high school, and the biggest…I became and grandmother (La~la as I prefer. I’m not old enough to be “Grand” anything). I kept thinking I’d post about all of the events and share some pictures, but life just came too fast. If you follow me on Facebook though, I’m SURE you already know.

I honestly can’t promise how often I’ll get back to the blog, but since my blog was elected one of the top 25 migraine blogs of 2018, I though I’d better let you know about my newfound MIGRAINE MIRACLE!

If you know my story you know I had seizures for seven years (then God stepped in and knocked them right out of my life…or my head…however you want to look at it.) Migraines, however, I’ve fought since my first pregnancy.

I’ve been seeing a physician here in Greenville, SC who’s been treating the arthritis in my spine created from all of the falls I had when I was having seizures. He mentioned the injections in my neck may help with my migraines.

The next sentence he muttered softly while typing my chart was monumental. And weird. But I’m always up for trying something new as long as its safe.

There’s an over the counter cream for arthritis called “Zostrix-HP” cream. The generic, capsaicin .075% cream (which is basically hot pepper cream), may have changed my life. Hopefully I’m not ahead of myself here, but I’ve been amazed. With the hot and humid true-to-South-Carolina weather we’ve had, I’ve been waking up with migraines daily (and who has time for that when there’s a new grandchild around ?!?!?)

The doctor told me to rub the capsaicin cream on the back of my neck and my shoulders before bed each night (and be sure to wash your hands thoroughly so you don’t do something stupid and rub your eyes with hot pepper…not that I learned the hard way or anything).

I’ve been using this cream now for three weeks, and NO MIGRAINES! In 2010 I had a God-given miracle which had absolutely no explanation except a miracle. Now, in this case, it’s a God-given scientific miracle. In case you’re interested in the “sciency” stuff, the capsaicin cream draws “substance-P” from your brain. Substance-P helps transport the chemicals to the brain’s pain receptors which leads to a headache. Less substance-P, less headache.

God either gave someone the idea to try this or it was an oops, but either way I’m thankful.

So there’s your migraine tip for today: Rub capsaicin 0.75% cream on your neck and shoulders, wash your hands, and see if it helps your migraine as much as mine. (Click here to tweet)

I pray that it does!

So there’s your migraine tip for today: Rub capsaicin 0.75% cream on your neck and shoulders, wash your hands, and see if it helps your migraine as much as it has mine.

PS…If you try it and it helps, please leave me a comment below :o)

SaveSave

Filed Under: BLOG POSTS, Brain Functions, Chronic Illness, Migraine Headaches, Physical Wellness, Prescription Drugs, Uncategorized Tagged With: Capsaicin cream, headache, headache prevention, headache treatment, migraine, migraine healing, migraine prevention, migraine relief, migraine treatment, substance-P, Zostrix cream

The Shack Movie: God and your Tragedy

18 March, 2017 by Celeste Vaughan Leave a Comment

When this book was first published, I heard it was great, but wasn’t in a good place to read it because I had a five-year-old little girl at the time. As soon as I realized what could happen, I put down the book and finally picked it back up when she was ten.

Paul Young has written and incredible story and though it was initially self-published it for his family. Mainstream media caught wind of it and, well, you know the rest.

There has been much controversy over the movie on theology, though not clearly evident. It wasn’t until I looked back and thought about some of the scenes that I questioned whether or not Mr. Young was keeping biblical truths in tact.

One big question asked was “why wouldn’t God save Mack’s little girl?” or in general, (why do bad things happen to good people?”) Here’s my opinion on that one if you’d like to check it out: “Why Bad Things Happen to Good People”

The following is an article written by a co-writer who has published quite a few books and is a good Christian man. I’ve heard him speak and taken several classes from him. He offered this article to be shared with the release of this movie to answer some of those shaky theological questions.

Hope the article sheds some light on the good and the bad in this fictional story. Any conversation starter about God is a good thing in my book.

The Shack movie: God and your tragedy

By Rusty Wright

When your personal tragedy strikes – and it will – is God good?

Millions wrestle with that question. The Shack, a bestselling novel and now a movie, uses fanciful fiction to help people process age-old intellectual and emotional struggles about evil, suffering, and divine character.

Did a loved one just die? Maybe your marriage is failing, your boss showed you the door, your lump is malignant, or an earthquake leveled your home.

Perhaps an important business deal collapsed or false gossip torpedoed a treasured friendship.

“God, how could you allow this?” comes the cry. How could God be all loving, all powerful, and all just?

From Office Depot to a theater near you …

Author William Paul Young first self-published fifteen copies of The Shack at Office Depot as Christmas gifts. It’s now sold 19 million copies and been translated into 50 languages. Clearly, the story has hit a nerve. Film stars include Oscar-winner Octavia Spencer (The Help), Sam Worthington (Avatar), and Grammy winner Tim McGraw.

(Spoilers ahead.)

Mack, the protagonist, has submerged much of his childhood pain from his abusive, alcoholic father. He now enjoys life with his wife and family, until a serial killer abducts and murders his young daughter Missy, sending him into deep depression. Through some curious happenings, he revisits the murder scene, a decrepit shack deep in the woods.

There he spends a fascinating weekend with … God. Actually with all three members of the Trinity: God – a large, loving African-American woman named “Papa” (the story explains this); Jesus – an actual Jewish carpenter; and the Holy Spirit – an Asian woman with a Sanskrit name, Sarayu, meaning “wind.”

Processing pain

The four enjoy sumptuous food, starlit nights, and lots of conversation. The three guide Mack through processing the painful “if only” questions related to Missy’s death, and in forgiving his adversaries.

They also help with the intellectual questions: God gave humans free will, hence human evil. Jesus came in love. By his death and resurrection, humans can be reconciled to God and enjoy the relationships – divine and human – for which they were created.

Multiple resonances

Many may find The Shack emotionally/spiritually therapeutic and intellectually satisfying. The story resonated with me on multiple levels.

I agree that God, though sovereign, gave us freedom to follow or disobey him. This does not answer all concerns (because he sometimes does intervene to thwart evil) but suggests that the problem of evil is not as great an intellectual obstacle as some imagine.

Pain’s emotional barrier to belief can be formidable. Jesus understands suffering. He was scorned, beaten, and cruelly executed, carrying the guilt of human rebellion.

When I see God, items on my long list of questions will include a painful and unwanted divorce, betrayal by trusted co-workers, my second wife’s tragic death last year from cancer, and all sorts of disappointing human behavior and natural disasters. Yet in Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection I’ve seen enough to trust him when he says he “causes all things to work together for good to those who love God.”

Serious conflicts

That said, The Shack book has some serious conflicts with a biblical view of God, and some with simple logic. (The movie avoids some – but not all – of these.) Others have detailed such issues, so I’ll mention just a few.

The book seems to indicate that Jesus’ death and resurrection will bring all humanity back into a relationship with God, regardless of individual decisions. The biblical documents maintain that individuals must personally accept divine pardon for it to be effective in their lives. The film only hints at this issue.

The book’s Sarayu and Papa say rules like the Ten Commandments were given not to make humans good but to reveal their flaws and their need for God. Fair enough. It took me nineteen years to understand that important distinction. But the two also believe rules and expectations harm relationships, which should be our focus. (The movie touches this matter tangentially.)

I would stress the proper emphasis. Biblical expectations (about love, service, forgiving, spousal faithfulness, etc.) can be tracks for healthy living once we’re plugged into divine power for living.

In the book, Sarayu perplexingly claims the word “responsibility” is not found in the Bible. A simple search disputes that. The film omits this mistake.

The book’s Jesus maintains that all mental turmoil and anxiety are related to religious, political or economic institutions. Including concern for tsunami deaths, for instance? “Allness” claims invite rebuttal. Better “much,” or something similar. The movie omits this overstatement.

The Shack film will get people thinking about important issues. If you view it – or read the book – I encourage you to do so with discernment, discuss it with friends, and measure it by the Good Book.

Rated PG-13 (USA) “for thematic material including some violence.”

www.TheShack.movie Opens March 3 (USA) International release dates

Rusty Wright is an author and lecturer who has spoken on six continents. He holds Bachelor of Science (psychology) and Master of Theology degrees from Duke and Oxford universities, respectively. www.RustyWright.com

The Shack movie: God and your tragedy. When your personal tragedy strikes – and it will – is God good? Millions wrestle with that question. The Shack, a bestselling novel and now a movie, uses fanciful fiction to help people process age-old intellectual and emotional struggles about evil, suffering, and divine character.

Mack (Sam Worthington) and “Papa” (Octavia Spencer)

Mack and his family

Jesus, Mack, Papa, Sarayu

Filed Under: BLOG POSTS, Guest Posts, Living in Faith, Living with Purpose, Movie Review, Real Relationships Tagged With: abuse, accept, alcoholic, anxiety, Asian, betrayal, cancer, carpenter, death, depression, divine character, divorce, earthquake, economic, emotion, evil, expectation, fiction, forgive, free will, freedom, God, good, Holy Spirit, intellectual, Jesus, Jewish, justice, love, malignant, marriage failure, mental, murder, natural disaster, Office Depot, pain, pardon, political, power, reconciliation, relationship, religious, responsibility, resurrection, rule, Sanskrit, Sarayu, sovereign, spiritual, suffering, Ten Commandments, termination, therapeutic, therapy, Tragedy, Trinity, tsunami, William Paul Young, wind

Why This Teenage Girl Doesn’t Kiss Her Boyfriend

11 October, 2016 by Celeste Vaughan Leave a Comment

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I couldn’t help but share this post a senior friend of Trevor’s posted on Facebook. We all know how our society has become so sexually promiscuous. When it’s time for my second and third child to get married, I want them to have someone to choose from who has saved themselves for marriage. I’m not belittling those who have already chosen to have sex, and there is a very real concept called “reclaimed virginity.” It’s not to late to change your lifestyle because God is a forgiving and merciful God. By dying on the cross he’s already overcome all of our sins. But if you can know God’s intentions for sex before you are in a serious relationship, it will make life much easier, and you’ll be honoring God above all else.

If you are a teenager, read this. If you have a teenager, have them read this or read it to them. What Ashley is writing here is from her heart…the heart of a 17-year-old girl. I know she has one proud mama! It takes an huge amount of courage to not just hold tight to your beliefs, but to profess them on the world wide webb for all to see. Incredibly brave.

“God has really been placing this on my heart to talk about and discuss
lately. As many of my friends know, I have been dating Brandon for over a
year now. Early on in our relationship, we decided that we wanted to set
“guardrails” and “boundaries” in our relationship as far as physical stuff
goes. Now, we had these set, but honestly, neither of us really understood why.

We thought “Well, we aren’t having sex, so what’s the big deal?” I’ve found that this is the mindset that many of my friends have towards their relationship. After Brandon and I had been dating for about 6 months or so we sat down and discussed our relationship. I had been doing a bible student called, “The 7 Lies of Teen Dating”, and through the whole study, the same question kept popping up in my head, “Why am I asking the question ‘how far is too far?’ When I should be asking ‘how far is not honoring God?”

A verse that Brandon and I really looked at and prayed about was 1 Corinthians 6:20 “God owns the whole works.So let people see God in and through your body.” We both decided that we wanted our bodies and physical aspects of our relationship to demonstrate our love for God.”

I’m jumping into the middle of her post here to share the entire passage of scripture from 1 Corinthians:

16-20 There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.

Now back to Ashley:

“Originally, we decided that the only physical contact we would have is a peck, and only once on an hour. Now being a teenager in a world where that is the complete opposite of the social norm, we were definitely laughed at. Now a little over 95 days ago me and Brandon decided that we wanted to eliminate kissing all together. As far as physical aspects in our relationship, we wanted to limit ourselves to hugging and kissing on the cheek. We wanted to go 95 days with no distractions, and we spent those 95 days getting closer to God and building our relationship on a God foundation. Obviously, this was not something that was easy to just tell my friends or classmates about at school, and when people found out, it was usually just laughs and side comments.

I want to address some of the questions and statements people say to me in regards to what me and Brandon do. Keep in mind I’m only 17 years old, and Brandon is my first serious relationship, so I am definitely not a relationship expert by any means, and I’m still learning from my mentors how I can better and build my relationship on a God foundation. Hopefully, this will give people some light on the subject or give someone the courage to make changes in their current or future relationship.

1. “Do you really love Brandon if you don’t kiss him? And does he really love you?”
The answer to this question is really simple to me. Yes, I love him, and
yes he loves me. I didn’t wake up one day and say “kissing is gross, I
don’t want to do that anymore.” It took a lot of strength and courage from
God for us to make this decision. But I promise you girls, it’s one thing for a guy to say “I love you” and it’s another for him to say, “I love you, but I love God more so I’m putting him at the center of our relationship, and I will put him before you.”
2. “Are you even in a relationship if you don’t kiss?”
Yes. A relationship isn’t suppose to be about physicality. My dad has told me ever since I was a little girl that dating is just an interview before marriage. Somewhere down the line our society has gotten this social norm that relationships should be based on physical things and that’s just normal and “being a teeanger”, and those who chose other wise are viewed as weird. But honestly building a relationship on physicality is one of the most unsturdy foundations. The only sturdy foundation to build a relationship on is God, so you should honor God in your relationship.
3. “You’re only a teenager once, and you’re wasting it.”
Again, I have a simple response. I may only be a teenager once, but I only get to live my life for God once. Nuff said.

(What an awesome perspective for everyone!)

4. “If you’re gonna marry Brandon, then why does it matter how far you go?”

Well, as much as I love Brandon and hope that I will marry him one day, I don’t know who I will marry. Only God knows who I will end up marrying, and until I am at my wedding saying “I do,” I don’t know who my husband will be. But as a christian, it is my job to stay as pure as possible for my future husband.”

Incredible post Ashley. Thanks for letting me share. Ashley has started her own blog now on Christian Dating and I wanted to share that link with you: https://heleadsifollowweb.wordpress.com/

Please share this with anyone you know who has teenagers…let’s make her post go viral!

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Filed Under: Family Focused, Freedom in Christ, God-Sized Dreams, Living in Faith, Living with Purpose, Parenting Tips, Real Relationships Tagged With: God, kissing, Marriage, relationships, sex, social norms, teenagers

My Story~Prescription for Addiction (On video!)

21 September, 2016 by Celeste Vaughan 2 Comments

I’ve been awol for awhile now. Miranda got married in May and I spent about 9 months planning the wedding. I’ll show you some pictures in an upcoming blog post 🙂 I’m so proud of Miranda and Jamie and all they’ve accomplished. But it definitely takes a village!

We also spent quite a bit of time traveling this summer and I’ll be sure and send some pics from our trip as well. But in this post I’m getting back to the root of the reason I started this blog initially. Hopefully I can get back to a regular schedule but no promises. Getting back into the blogging/writing groove isn’t easy for me, but I need to do it now before Grandkids come along!

Okay so I’m about to celebrate the 6th anniversary of the miracle God gave me on September 10, 2010. Today, I’m still amazed. And so very thankful.

When He first healed me I couldn’t keep my mouth shut about it! My family got a little tired of hearing the same story over and over, but God gave me the story and I had to share it. No, we’re not in Bible times and don’t experience the miracles God did in the Bible, but miracles happen every day all around us. We just have to keep our eyes and ears open.

Once I began writing, everyone said I’d need to be able to tell my story in front of groups in order to promote my book. So I proceeded to take a much dreaded communicators conference.

I promised God I’d share my story when asked, and I’ve been asked three times to share it in public. The last time was in front of a group of high school kids at church. I’m a small group leader and the church wanted us to share our stories with the kids to allow them to get to know us better. So I actually recorded it, and though it’s not the most professional recording, it’s my story. Hope you enjoy watching and I pray that you get the message from it God would desire for you!

Just click on the link below and know that miracles do happen!

Prescription for Addiction

Filed Under: Addiction, Beating Depression, BLOG POSTS, Brain Functions, Freedom in Christ, Have an Eternal Perspective, Living in Faith, Living with Purpose, Miracles Do Happen, Overcoming Addiction, Prescription Drugs, The Power of Prayer, Trevor

How Addiction Saved My Life

12 May, 2015 by Celeste Vaughan Leave a Comment

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I know I haven’t posted much lately since I’m actually working on the book, but I was honored to receive a request to write a guest post for Liberty in Christ Ministries if you’d like to check it out. Be sure to read Patty’s story too while you’re there…it’s a good one!

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Filed Under: Addiction, Beating Depression, BLOG POSTS Tagged With: addiction, depression, liberty in Christ ministries

Brave~Hoda Kotb’s new inspiring video with Sara Bareilles and Cindi Lauper

28 September, 2014 by Celeste Vaughan Leave a Comment

I happened to catch The Today show this week and Hoda had a story that just made my heart melt. Cancer is very close to her heart since she’s dealt with it, so she decided she wanted to make a video to raise money and awareness for cancer. She had the idea to mix Cindi Lauper and Sara Bareilles that will make your heart melt. I just had to share it, so here it is:

If you’d like to donate to pediatric cancer research, you can go to Crowdrise.com/hoda. Having two friends whose children have pediatric cancer makes me realize just how close it is. It can happen to anyone, but even though they may be suffering now, Christ has already overcome the battle for them. The family I wrote about a few posts back illustrates that so well. They have taken every opportunity to let the light of Christ in spite of, through, and beyond cancer. God is always in control. We live in a sinful world, and sometimes we must suffer, but Jesus is right beside us holding our hand through every step of the way.

Josiah, the friend of Trevor’s who is battling leukemia (click here to read what I wrote of his story) and his family have been amazing how they have used his battle with leukemia to witness to those who don’t know Christ. They have been one of the bravest families I’ve seen struggling through this disease and give it to God at the same time.

[Tweet ” “So parents and children alike, where any disease is involved, we must be BRAVE.””](Feel free to tweet!)

(This is a photo of Josiah’s friends with their orange bracelets on in support of Josiah. Printed on them is John 11:14.

Filed Under: Chronic Illness, Fighting Your Fears, Handling Stress, Have an Eternal Perspective, Living in Faith, The Power of Prayer, Worship Through Music Tagged With: BE brave, cancer, cindi lauper, faith, hoda kobt, sara bereilles, true colors

Letting it Go~ The Power of Forgiveness

26 September, 2014 by Celeste Vaughan 2 Comments

I promise I haven’t abandoned you. I’ve just come to the realization that writing regularly on a blog and writing a book while having a job and the responsibility of a family is just about impossible for me. But in teaching the 10th grade girls small group at church, we are doing a series called “Letting it Go” about the importance of forgiveness. So I’m sharing the information with you that we are studying on Sunday nights. This is a great resource geared specifically for parents… for teaching your children about forgiveness, and possibly learning a bit yourself.

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning

“I just can’t let it go.” “They don’t deserve to be forgiven.” “It hurts too much to move on.” Maybe you’ve heard your children say something like this in the midst of pain, frustration and anger towards someone who has hurt them—or maybe you’ve said or thought something similar yourself. Choosing to forgive someone who has hurt us is never easy. So why does it matter so much that we do it? How do we know when we should do it? And how do we know we have actually healed from the pain an offense has caused? How do we simply let it go?

2. Be a Student of Your Student

I can think of multiple times in my life when I’ve been in an emotional stand off with someone over something they did or said—or maybe something they didn’t say or didn’t do. Taking the first steps towards getting back on good terms is simple enough—in theory. But saying the words “I’m sorry” often feels like it costs too much. So, too often we choose silence in the hopes that time will fix it, instead of intentional reconciliation.

Unfortunately, not apologizing can be costly—maybe even especially to the relationship with our teenagers. Maybe sometimes you don’t want to apologize because you know that they are the one who did something wrong. Maybe in reaction to something your son did, you lashed out and said something that was a little harsh—but you excused it because his behavior was completely unacceptable. Or maybe you found yourself sneaking through bedroom drawers just to squelch some rising suspicions and it really broke your daughter’s trust—but you were justified in what you did, so an apology seems unnecessary. You didn’t do anything outside of your parental rights, per se, but your son or daughter feels hurt, betrayed or angry.

Saying I’m sorry can be so hard. Admitting you’re wrong, or that you even had a small part in an argument or bad situation, can physically hurt sometimes. It doesn’t sit well. On the other hand, when someone has apologized to you, or you have made the first step towards reconciliation, something distinct and compelling happens. There is a sense of relief, of vulnerability and calm. All from simply saying—or hearing—“I’m sorry.”

What is it about an apology that can be so powerful—both for the receiver of the apology and the one actually apologizing?

To understand this a bit more, we want to share some excerpts from an article entitled “The Power of Apology: How to give and receive an apology. And it’s worth it, on both ends” by Beverly Engel featured in Psychology Today in June 2013, and taken from the book The Power of Apology by Beverly Engel: (To read the full article, go to http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200208/the-power-apology.)

As you read, try to focus on the bolded words—on what giving an apology does—and try to imagine these action words taking place in the context of your relationship with your son or daughter:

“Apology has the ability to disarm others of their anger and to prevent further misunderstandings. While an apology cannot undo harmful past actions, if done sincerely and effectively, it can undo the negative effects of those actions … Apologizing helps us remain emotionally connected to our friends and loved ones….

So, the next time you find yourself in a stand off with your spouse, a co-worker a friend or even your son or daughter, remember that more is on the line than just your pride and sense of justice. The future relationship, the ability to stay connected to and vulnerable with that person is on the line too. The words “I’m sorry” may be hard to say, but they are always worth the effort!

3. Action Point

The action point for this series is pretty straightforward: Apologize to your child.

But sometimes this is easier said than done. So what are some characteristics of a meaningful apology?

First of all, admit that you are truly sorry for the hurt or damage you caused. It’s easy with our students to unintentionally do or say something that they take personally. And even though we don’t always mean things the way they hear or experience them, the hurt that can be caused is still real to them. So, while you may not have meant to be hurtful, recognizing that someone else was hurt by your actions is incredibly important.

Secondly, a sincere and powerful apology includes an acceptance of responsibility. This may seem like the same thing as admitting you are sorry for the hurt you caused. But it actually takes this idea of admittance one step further. When you accept responsibility, you are not making excuses for what you did, which often has the effect of negating the apology. It’s like when your child says, “I’m really sorry that I dented the car, but the other driver was way too close to me and I couldn’t see them well out of my side mirror.” Too many excuses cloud a good apology with a message of “It really wasn’t my fault.” For an apology to be meaningful and sincere, you have to communicate that you take full responsibility for your actions.

And lastly, there should always be something in your apology that shows you have a desire to remedy the situation. You obviously can’t go back and undo what was done—or not done—but you can offer a plan to make sure it doesn’t happen again. So, if you’ve missed your son’s basketball game … again … and he is really hurt and angry, make a plan and offer a promise to get to one of his upcoming games. And then do it! An empty promise will only make the hurt deeper, so don’t promise what you can’t deliver. But be sure to offer some sort of a plan of action so that your son or daughter knows that you will work towards not repeating the action that hurt them in the first place.

Take some time to think through what a meaningful apology might look like for your son or daughter. And then, go say the words that make all the difference in the world—I’m sorry.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With: apologize, communication, forgiveness, parent, parenting, rebellion, teens

101 (+1) Ways to Cope with Stress

13 June, 2014 by Celeste Vaughan 3 Comments

First let me say that I didn’t come up with this list. I found it in a local advertisement for a hospital. But we do stay way too stressed out and this list holds some practical, simple ways to make your life less crazy. But in writing this post I have to say that NOT HAVING A BLOG would help me cope with stress! Just trying to format these posts makes me crazy sometimes! Somebody, somewhere, sometime must have prayed for me to have more patience. They better hope I don’t find out who they are 😉

Get up 18 minutes early
Prepare for the morning the night before
Avoid tight fitting clothes
Avoid relying on chemical aids (I can attest personally to this one—Trouble with a capital T!
Set appointments ahead
Don’t rely on your memory…write it down
Practice preventative maintenance
Make duplicate keys
Say “no” more often
Set priorities in your life
Avoid negative people (Some days this means I can’t look in the mirror)
Use time wisely
Simplify meal times (“Kids, go jump in the car”)
Always make copies of important papers (and then remember where you put them)
Anticipate your need
Repair anything that doesn’t work properly (In my house this means call a handyman, or we’ll end up paying more in the long run)
Ask for help with the jobs you don’t like (Or just don’t do them)
Break large tasks into small portions
Look at challenges differently
Unclutter your life (That one alone would cure my stress)
Smile
Prepare for rain
Tickle a baby
Pet a friendly dog or cat (or one of the horses (ahem—great danes) that live in my house)
Don’t know all the answers (No matter how badly I want to)
Look for the silver lining
Say something nice to someone (especially your significant other…we neglect them all too often)
Teach a kid to fly a kite (right after you teach yourself!)
Walk in the rain
Schedule play time into every day
Take a bubble bath (I’m especially good at that one!)
Be aware of the decisions you make
Believe in yourself
Stop saying negative things to yourself
Visualize yourself winning
Develop your sense of humor
Stop thinking tomorrow will be a better day
Have goals for yourself
Dance a jig
Say hello to a stranger
Ask a friend for a hug
Look up at the stars
Practice breathing slowly
Learn to whistle a tune (Or just watch Andy Griffith)
Read a poem
Listen to a symphony
Watch a ballet
Read a story curled up in bed
Do a brand new thing
Stop a bad habit
Buy yourself a flower
Take stock of your achievements
Find support from others
Ask someone to be your “vent” partner (I got one of those just this week!)
Do it today
Work at being cheerful and optomistic
Put safety first
Do everything in moderation
Pay attention to your appearance
Strive for excellence not perfection (I needed this one a LONG time ago)
Stretch your limits a little each day
Look at a work of art
Hum a tune
Maintain your weight
Plant a tree
Feed the bird
Practice grace under pressure
Stand up and stretch
Always have a plan “B”
Learn a new doodle
Memorize a joke
Be responsible for you feelings
Learn to meet your own needs
Become a better listener
Know your limitations and let others know them too
Tell someone to have a good day in pig latin
Throw a paper airplane
Exercise every day
Learn the words to a new song
Get to work early
Clean out a closet
Play patty-cake with a toddler
Go on a picnic
Take a different route to work
Leave work early (with permission, of course)
Put air freshener in your car
Watch a movie and eat popcorn
Write a note to a far-away friend
Go to a ball game and scream
Cook a meal and eat it by candlelight
Recognize the importance of unconditional love
Remember that stress is an attitude
Keep a journal
Practice a gigantic smile (but don’t creep people out!)
Remember you always have options
Have a support network of people, place, and things
Stop trying to “fix” other people
Get enough sleep (which I need to go do right now!)
Talk less and listen more
Freely praise other people
Relax and take one day at a time…you have the rest of your life to live
And I MUST add one more…PRAY, PRAY, and PRAY some more!

Filed Under: Handling Stress, Simplify Your Life Tagged With: coping, relaxation techniques, stress, stress coping mechanisms, stress reducers

When we wonder “Why?”

8 June, 2014 by Celeste Vaughan 4 Comments

In my last post, I wrote about a book I was reading called, “Fly a Little Higher” about a teenage boy diagnosed with a difficult type of cancer to cure—osteosarcoma. His mom wrote the book and even though Zach died, his mom’s prayers were answered. The death of her son through this cancer was for something much, much bigger. I also indicated that I hoped God never chooses to allow that opportunity for my children.

Then Friday night Miranda comes in and tells us that one of her best friend’s little brother, Josiah, has Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia—ALL is a common abbreviation and his is the T-cell type. Josiah is Trevor’s age, so this hits quite close to home. Josiah’s family is one of the most kind and Godly families I know. They truly radiate the light of Jesus. I couldn’t help but ask myself ,”Why?” As a mom, I can’t imagine what his mom, Lynette, is feeling right now. I’m sure Satan is doing his best to put doubt and fear into her heart, as well as those of her family. Why this family? Why Josiah?

Tomorrow, the doctors will put in a port, begin chemo, and begin to decide how they will approach the bone marrow treatment. Josiah undoubtedly will have to endure some pain through this treatment, and his family will be right by his side going through it with him. Satan has chosen the wrong family to pick on.

Satan’s going to fail. God will prevail.

Josiah has been on my mind since the minute Miranda told me about his diagnosis. She went to the hospital yesterday and said everyone is being very positive. Just what I would expect. Not to mention that yesterday was Josiah’s birthday. This post hasn’t been well thought out, or rewritten several times as I tend to do. It’s just straight from my heart.

We need an army of prayer warriors for Josiah. We don’t need to give Satan even an inkling that he might have any satisfaction through this diagnosis. Here’s a link to a Facebook page created to keep people updated on his condition and for the prayers needed: Pray for Josiah

This is a picture of Josiah with his brother, Ben, and his sisters, Brooke and Hannah. (Josiah is on the far right)

God has a plan. We need to pray to keep Satan’s army suppressed and allow God’s perfect plan unfold before our eyes. Let’s watch as God destroys the cancer and Satan’s evil plans as well.

Please share this post and like Josiah’s Facebook page. In this case, Like = Prayer.

If you want more on why bad things happen to good people check out another recent post HERE.

Filed Under: Chronic Illness, Fighting Your Fears, God-Sized Dreams, Living in Faith, The Power of Prayer

Beyond the horizon

9 May, 2014 by Celeste Vaughan 2 Comments

Why God chooses to heal some people and not to heal others is always a heated question. Especially when it comes to children. No parent should ever have to watch a child die, yet it happens every day.

I always think of a quote by a friend of mine when considering the gifts of my children. “God doesn’t give us children to make us better parents, he gives us children to make us better children.” He gives us our children on loan to raise until he’s ready to bring them home to Him. But death seems so final. As humans we think of everything as having a beginning and an end. God has no beginning or end, and our lives, regardless of how long they are lived on earth, have no ending. We are eternal beings. Since we can’t actually “see” eternity though, death feels final.

During the seven years I was sick with seizures, depression, and addiction, I was ready for The End. Obviously, God wasn’t finished with me yet. He chose to heal me. My healing…somehow…is part of his bigger plan. The death of a child is also…somehow…part of his bigger plan. Honestly, I don’t even feel equipped to write about a loss so horrific, and I pray it’s not part of any bigger plan in my life.

When God healed me, part of His healing was to give me an eternal perspective. Although I’d been taught that our life on earth is nothing but a drop in the bucket of time as compared to eternity, I never really got it until God reached His all knowing hand down to me and pulled me from my pit of despair. As a result, I’ve shared my story—every fun little detail—in order to further His kingdom. I’m thankful He chose to teach me through me and not through one of my children. In this case, though unbeknownst to them, my children work daily to make me a better child of God! (You know how people tell you never to pray for patience because God might just give you something to strengthen yours?)

I’m currently reading thebook, “Fly a Little Higher” by Laura Sobiech. She lost her teenage son to osteosarcoma…a very difficult form of cancer to defeat. While being in a Christian writer’s group, I’ve met numerous women who’ve lost children. The word that comes to mind first is “brave.” To survive, to live, to move forward seems as if it would be impossible after the loss of a child. Yet God has given all of these women a supernatural strength to move forward, sharing their stories to give us a little glimpse of Heaven, as their children are all waiting there with open arms. In no pain. Happy. Wrapped in the warm, never-ending light of Jesus.

When I was approached to participate in this blog tour, I was hesitant, because I wasn’t sure I had time to get the book read. Then I learned I didn’t have to have it all read, Thomas Nelson just wanted blog posts on topics similar and then somehow linked to the book. But I got the book a few days ago and began reading.

It hits a little too close to home.

Zach, the 9th grader who learns he has osteosarcoma reminds me a bit too much of my own 9th grader, Trevor. They both just happen to love their friends, playing frisbee, and the guitar. Before Zach died, he was able to record a few songs he has written, one of which was an answer to his mom’s prayer—for Zach’s death to be for something big. One of the songs Zach recorded is called “Clouds” Though I haven’t had a chance to finish the book yet, I see where Laura is going, and God took me to a similar place during my illness. She says, “Hope is something much bigger than anything physical we may desire. It is about raising our eyes from a point on the horizon to the heavens and into eternity.” Oh, how I get that! I’ve written numerous blog posts about having an eternal perspective. Honestly, we will all die. It’s just a matter of when. So it’s eternity I look toward. I will live out this life on earth as best as possible, but eternity in Heaven is my final destination. I’m sure Zach waiting to see all the lives he has touched, guitar in hand.

Set your eyes beyond the horizon and aim to fly a little higher.

I dare you to get through THIS VIDEO without tears…and with a little more hope.

This post is part of the Fly a Little Higher Blog Tour which I am delighted to be a part of along with hundreds of bloggers raising awareness and giving hope to those with cancer. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!

Fly a Little Higher is written by Laura Sobiech, the mother of Zach Sobiech. Laura spent the last three years walking the road of cancer with her teenage son, Zach, and blogging about their battle with the disease. Zach wrote the song “Clouds” which hit #1 on iTunes the same week he passed away in May 2013.

Grab your copy HERE.

A new video with Zach’s family and friends has just been released if you’d like to see how they are doing a year later. Just click HERE.

Filed Under: Beating Depression, Chronic Illness, Fighting Your Fears, Have an Eternal Perspective, Living with Purpose, Uncategorized Tagged With: cancer, clouds, eternity, heaven, Zach Sobiech

How to Declutter the Paper That Takes Over Your Life

4 March, 2014 by Celeste Vaughan 5 Comments

I’ve been AWOL for a while, I know. I’ve written tons of posts on addiction, depression, prayer, etc…and while I’m working on the book writing my story about all of those same topics, I thought it might be fun to do some other things on my blog.

My word for the year is “simplify,” and one of the constant battles in simplifying my life is paper. Random sheets of paper are brought into my house every day. If you have a job and a mailbox, I’m guessing you have the same problem. My pack-rat, scrap-paper collecting husband is notorious for making me crazy with paper. So I thought I’d share my solution with you.

I have recently realized that the clutter in my home increases the clutter and stress in my brain. Did you know there are actually links to home clutter and obesity? That’s enough reason right there to try to declutter!

A few years ago I bought my husband a Neat Scanner for his birthday. And as most organizational things I buy him, it went unused for a few years. So I decided to put it to use and it has helped so much getting rid of the paper clutter in our house!

Here’s where I started:

A bunch of files, at least 10-15 years old, sitting in boxes in the garage. These all used to be in a file cabinet that was so full it was hard to open. There are of course some files that need to be kept: Old tax returns, mortgage information, large purchases, etc…but for the most part most of the papers we are afraid to throw away we will never need again. Solution? Scan and shred them. Keep only what you may need the hard copy of (anything notarized, marriage licenses, wills, life insurance policies, old tax returns, etc…). But most paper can be tossed. And it feels so good to use that shredder!

Here’s the Neat Scanner. It’s small and so easy to use! Just plug it into the wall and plug the usb into your computer. It comes with instructions to download the Neat program into your computer. Easy peasy.

Then, within the program you can create your own files. After you scan an item in, it’s in your “inbox.” Once it’s scanned in, you can add a description to it and then drag it to whatever file you’ve created to put it in. My suggestion is to create very general easy files. For example, instead of having a file for every single car you own, just have a file that says “cars.” Or to file your utility bills that have already been paid, create a file that says “utilities 2014,” rather than have a separate file for electricity, water, gas, etc… Chances are you’ll never need to look them up, and most companies have computer files of their own. But you can find them if you need them.

Below is a photo of the screen you see after you scan in your document. This is where you add a description of the document before you choose the file you want to put it in.

And here is the finished product of David’s new paperless office. There’s a small open file cabinet under the desk for those few items I mentioned earlier that you need to keep the original copy of. Also, amazon has a great, inexpensive solution to all of the wires. Click HERE if your interested in checking it out. After taking over the kitchen table and our bedroom with mounds of files and papers, we’ve simplified to this, with a few decorative touches from me of course!

Happy decluttering!

Filed Under: Simplify Your Life Tagged With: files, neat scanner, organization, paperwork, simplify

Happy New Year Everybody!

1 January, 2014 by Celeste Vaughan Leave a Comment

Filed Under: Uncategorized

25 Days of Elf on the Shelf~Meet “Willie”

25 December, 2013 by Celeste Vaughan 2 Comments

Here in the last few years “Elf on the Shelf ” has put a little new magic in Christmas. When I was little, there was no popular storybook, but there was my little elf “Willie.” Why I named him “Willie” I have no idea. So my little elf has been putting magic in my Christmas for 44 years total, and now he’s putting a little extra magic in Christmas for my kids…at least my youngest.

The magic of the birth of Jesus is what Christmas is all about, and the story of Jesus’s immaculate birth puts the magic in Christmas. But a little elf that magically moves around in the night just adds a little fun. Marlee has loved waking up every morning to see what Willie has gotten into while we were asleep. It was fun to put a little extra imagination in Christmas this year, so I hope you enjoy our 25 days of “Elf on the Shelf.”

On Christmas day, Willie decided to try to disguise himself as Santa so he could eat all the cookies! To see a description of what he did each day you can follow me on instagram HERE.

Until next year Willie…

Filed Under: Just for Fun, Life Through the Lens Tagged With: Christmas, elf, elf on the shelf