The Trulywed Game~Episode Two

20 September, 2011 by Leave a Comment

Well, let me first be honest about this post. I had a hard time getting into Perry’s sermon this week…not because it wasn’t great, but because I was so frustrated with David! He fussed at me Sunday morning about being on my computer. I admit, I am on my computer a lot these days, but writing and photography require much computer time. So that being said, here’s part two of The Trulywed Game.



The title for this sermon was “Communicating to Encourage Closeness.” I found this title rather ironic considering our communication on the way to church!

“To develop emotional intimacy, I must display trustworthy character and deliver encouraging communication.”

Now being the proud and stubborn people David and I are, I don’t know which one of was communicating badly. David says I’m on the computer way too much and not being part of the family (even if I’m just doing mindless things like deleting bad pictures). I, however, think David is not supporting me in my photography and writing since he is fussing at me about being on the computer! Don’t get me wrong, he does support me, but I don’t know how I can possibly get everything done without spending some time around the family with my laptop. Suggestions here are welcome by the way!

How to Communicate to Encourage Closeness:

1) Display trustworthy character by demonstrating integrity, deciding to be faithful, and dealing with tasks. 

Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming! Song of Songs 2:15 (NLT)

I can honestly say I’ve never read that verse in the Bible. But the metaphor is so very true. How many little foxes do we let into our homes and lives every day? One little fox may not do too much damage, but before long, they can take over and a marriage and home can be destroyed. 

Nothing is more damaging to intimacy than when that little seed of doubt is planted. You know as well as I do that one little doubt put into our mind about our spouse being unfaithful is all it takes to make us see inconsistencies everywhere. We should have no secrets between each other. And yes…we should allow access to email, text, Facebook, or whatever communication we have with other people, especially if they’re of the opposite sex. We tend to want to argue, “If he trusted me, he wouldn’t need to see my text messages!” Yes, but if we are being completely trustworthy, we won’t care!

Those little “foxes” can be anything that gets in the way of intimacy–anything that causes your spouse for feel like you don’t care what they think…like spending money when you know you have it; or conveniently forgetting tasks that they’ve asked you to do that you really hate. Satan will send lots of foxes into our dens. We must be ready to trap them!  

We should never put ourselves in tempting situations, and if we are honest with ourselves, we’ll know exactly when they are. 

2) Deliver encouraging communication by recognizing our spouse’s insecurity, refusing to speak harshly, and repeating words of praise. 

After a full day at work, or wherever you are with people who take your time and energy, you come home exhausted without much left. 

…Treat your [spouse] with understanding as you live together. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)

If we stay in a constant state of frustration, intimacy cannot grow. We had a perfect example on Sunday! While David and I should have been listening to this sermon together and learning from it, it went more like this. David’s thinking, “I hope she’s listening to this so she can see I was right,” while I was thinking, “I really hope he heard that part about encouraging words and communication!”

Our culture today constantly hits us with outer beauty…the way we “should” look. As a spouse, if you are looking at health and fitness or beauty magazines, it will eventually make your spouse feel like they are being compared. We should always make our spouse feel nothing but secure…however we can. We know where our spouses are weak, and it’s our job to help them feel strong and secure in those areas. 

Intimacy should be protected as your greatest treasure.

In his “song,” Solomon expresses his love and adoration in a most sincere way…although I think standards have probably changed a little since then. But nevertheless, his love and adoration were sincere. Just for fun, enjoy this little presentation of “Solomon’s Beloved” by Vonda Skelton…It’s a must see. I promise you will have your laugh for the day! 



…discover beauty in everyone. Romans 12:17 (Msg)

From my heart, 
Celeste





Filed Under: Marriage Menders Tagged With: , ,

You Reap What You Sow. But Skunk Stink? Really?

14 September, 2011 by 4 Comments


Last Friday, I had a horrible, funny, but not horribly funny beginning to my day. When I was telling my friend Tonya what happened, she said, “I bet I’ll be reading about that in your blog soon!”
Also last week, I was listening to an audio class on speaking by Vonda Skelton (long time friend and now mentor). In her suggestions, she says to keep track of stories in your life that you might be able to find lessons in. 
So here goes…
I woke up Friday morning to my usual routine of letting the dogs out, getting the kids up, breakfast, lunch boxes, etc. I smelled something that seemed like it was coming from the bedroom. It was horrible! It kept working it’s way through the house toward the kitchen. It smelled like a skunk, and we often see them up on a road near our house, so I didn’t think much about it. As usual, we were in a hurry and needed to get out the door, so I rushed the kids out (they were gagging at this point, so for once they were in a hurry to get out), and went to the back door to let the dogs in. That’s when I realized…
Now just in case you don’t know me, my dogs are not just any dogs, they are Great Danes. Benji, at 130lbs, and Sofie, at 120lbs, reside inside with us at all times except to eat and potty. They are huge, spoiled rotten, babies. 
I look out the back door to let Benji in, and he looks like he has ants in his pants, prancing up and down on all four paws. His face, though, really told the story. He had three loooonng strands of drool hanging from his jowls like spaghetti noodles, and the white fur on his face and neck had sort of an ash gray tint to it. Hesitantly, I opened the door and thought I’d walked into my pharmacy school organic chemistry lab following a sulfur experiment gone wrong. For those who can’t identify, imagine jumping into the dump at your local convenience center. He’d been sprayed right in the face by a skunk! And Sofie, who is normally attached to Benji at the hip, was outside of her fence area at another door looking freaked out to say the least. 
We had to get out the door or we’d be late for school, so I reluctantly put them in their room and left. The car smelled like skunk too by this point, I guess from my clothes. I got the kids to school, stocked up supplies from the pet store and Publix, and headed home, armed and ready. When I returned home, I swear I could see green peppy-le-pew fumes seeping from the pores of my house. For five hours I scrubbed, sprayed, rinsed and washed everything that came in contact with skunk odor. Then, I put the dogs and me in the shower for a dawn dishwashing detergent shampoo, a white vinegar conditioner, and a de-skunking spray mousse. Rinse and repeat. 
After getting rid of every towel and rag I used and leaving the windows open all day, the kids were able to come home and not gag. It did take a full 24 hours to completely get rid of the skunk smell, but it did finally disappear. I am now a de-skunking expert, though I’m not sure it’s something I want to be known for. 
There is no way for me to prevent this from happening again. I can be there for cleanup, but I cannot prevent it. The dogs tangled with a skunk and got burned…sprayed. They had to reap what they had sown, and unfortunately, so did I! 
How often do we engage in some type of sin and have to reap the consequences? While we are doing whatever it is we shouldn’t be, we might think, “This is my decision, it’s my body, my money…I’m not hurting anyone but myself.” I’d be stretching it to say that Benji had those thoughts when he decided to pursue a skunk, but I am sure he was just thinking, “Oooohhhh, that’s a cool cat. Wonder if it wants to play?”…as he bounces towards it like Tigger. But while he was doing something he shouldn’t and got sprayed, it affected me as much, if not more, as it did him. 
Let me give you a “worst case scenario” here just to make you think. Let’s say I went out with some friends and decided to have a couple of glasses of wine at dinner. I don’t often drink, and all of my friends were drinking glass after glass and seemed fine. When it was time to go home, we all got in our cars and left. I felt a little funny, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Besides, all of my friends were drinking anyway and they were all driving. On my way home, my husband calls to see how close I am, and if I can stop by the grocery store for milk. As I pull into the grocery store, I really need to use the bathroom (from the wine I guess), so as I pull into my parking space, I reach over to grab my wallet from my purse so I can get inside quickly. Then I heard a “thud.” I immediately look up and see a woman frantically running toward the front of my car. Her little boy was retuning her buggy to the stall as I pulled in the space and I never saw him. His family and friends never got to see him alive again. 
I get goose bumps just writing such a story, even though it’s just an example, but how often are we in a hurry and do such things? Who’s to say that it wouldn’t have happened even if I’d never drank any of the wine? But now, no one would make that assumption. The police record would show my blood alcohol level and I would be charged with manslaughter with the involvement of alcohol. I could end up in prison. All for what? 
I could have made the decision to drink tea instead of the wine, or I could have ridden home with someone who had not been drinking. But instead, that one little instant decision cost the life of a little boy, and his family and friends lives would be changed forever. My life would be changed forever, whether I actually went to prison or not, just from having to live with what I’d done. My family would be changed, especially if I went to prison, but also having to deal with the guilt and grief I would endure for who knows how long. 
I’m sure you are getting the point here. We must reap what we sow. Yes, God can forgive our sins and make them as far as the east is from the west, but that does not take away the earthly consequences; for you and for others. 
I could just as easily have used another example. I’ve seen this one come to life more than I want to think about. Let’s say David and I are having marital problems. A co-worker of mine is having similar problems with his wife. So we go for a drink after work one night to have someone to talk to and “compare notes.” I’m not saying men and women cannot be friends, but we know in our heart when there is something more to it. This seemingly innocent situation can lead to broken families and divorce, financial problems, loss of jobs, depression, or even suicide. When we take part in a situation we know in our hearts to be wrong, there will eventually be consequences…sometimes an avalanche of consequences. Not just for us, but for anyone remotely attached to the situation. 
You might argue, “Bad things always happen to good people, who’s to say it was my fault and wouldn’t have happened anyway?” In a sense, I agree, and I know that God uses all things for his good, no matter what they originated from. But do you want to go through life wondering? Knowing that something you did could be the thing that began the destruction of someone else’s life?
Romans 8:28 tells us that God does use all things for his good, but he also tells us in Hebrews 9:27, And just as it is appointed for a man to die once, after that comes judgment. We will all certainly have to stand before God in judgment one day, and I know my list will be long. But I am working very hard to sow good seeds for the rest of my life so my harvest can produce good things for many. 
I have a friend who always says to her daughter, “make good choices!” as she’s running out the door. The girls think it’s funny sometimes, but if we all had that little voice in our head saying, “make good choices!” maybe we’d think twice about getting ourselves in precarious situations. 
…So let’s all MAKE GOOD CHOICES!
From my heart, 
Celeste
Filed Under: Just for Fun, Making Changes, Parenting Tips, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , ,

The Trulywed Game~Episode One

12 September, 2011 by 3 Comments


Remember “The Newlywed Game?” Well, we just started a series at our church this week called “The Trulywed Game.” All in the spirit of fun, they actually produced a mock video of the show, complete with hippie clothes and wigs. It was hilarious to watch, but the subject matter is not one to laugh about.

Did you know that 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Perry, our pastor, challenged everyone in the church to spend just five weeks…the length of this series…working on our marriage. I wish you could all hear his sermons, but I’ve decided to recap them here for you for the next five weeks in hopes that you will come away with a stronger marriage when this series is over.

Marriages and families are being attacked harder than ever. Satan uses jealousy, busy schedules, finances, kids, parents, sex, abuse…and the list goes on and on. David and I have had difficult times in our marriage for sure, and we have learned so much from our 22 years, but it’s a never-ending journey.

When God created man, he realized that man needed a helper, so he created woman from Adam’s rib. From his side. Not his foot or his head, but his side. God provided a woman for a man to complete him. Where a man is weak, a woman can fill that weakness. If we just look at the anatomy of a man and a woman, it’s obvious they were meant to complete each other!

Here are the three points Perry laid out in explaining God’s plan for marriage: 

1) Departing from home. 
    …a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife. Matthew 19:5

    God intends for us to leave our families and create a new family with our spouse. This doesn’t mean move away never to return, but it does mean to put our spouse above everyone else from now on. For the husband, it means making decisions for his new family, not letting his old family control him. Listening to advice, yes…control, no. I have a friend who’s been married for a while, and she often feels “second fiddle” to her mother-in-law. Her husband has had a difficult time leaving his father and mother and putting his wife on the pedestal now instead of his mother.

2) Developing oneness. 
    “…and the two are united into one.” Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split what God has joined together. Matthew 19:5-6

    Oneness is physical, yes, but it’s so much more than that. I have an old post “1+1=1” that you might wish to read if you haven’t. It’s about the sexual oneness that Christ intends (and how to explain that to a child). Here’s the link if you want to read it:


    But again, oneness is so much more than sex. There is really nothing that compares to the intimacy between an husband and wife when they keep talking, keep growing, and stay connected…together…as a team. Perry used the following formula: 

Intimacy = an ever-increasing closeness resulting from unending discovery

That is how husbands should treat their wives, loving them as parts of themselves. For since a man and his wife are now as one, a man is really doing himself a favor and loving himself when he loves his wife! Ephesians 5:28 (TLB)

As married couples living together, we cannot stop communicating with one another. Believe me, David and I have tried it and it does not work! Satan loves to keep us too busy, too frustrated, and too tired to put the effort into communicating, but before you know it, your marriage will slip into a coma, and you will be nothing but room mates trying to tolerate each other. You know when you find out about someone you know getting a divorce and they say, “we just grew apart,” or “we got married too young, and when we grew up we were too different?” Anyone who does not communicate and make a concentrated effort at a relationship will grow apart. The relationship will die. We are all changing throughout our entire life. It is impossible not to! We can make the choice…CHOICE…to grow together, or to grow separately. God’s intention is for us to grow together. 

When I look back on my marriage, there are so many things I wish I’d known. I believe that David and I got married too young, and if we’d waited five years later, I don’t know if we would have. When troubles came, I could have gotten all wrapped up in the thoughts that maybe we weren’t right for each other. Maybe he wasn’t that one perfect person I was destined to marry. But I don’t believe that there is necessarily one specific person for everyone. We made a choice. We made a commitment. Yes, we’ve had difficult times and fought through feelings that we made the wrong choice. But as we’ve grown, we’ve grown together. We’ve fought the fights together; we’ve celebrated the victories together. We do our very best to remember that we are on the same team. We have the same goals. When you live with someone day in and day out, that’s hard to remember sometimes. I have to remind myself every day that we are rooting for each other and working together to make our family and our lives the best they can be.

A quote from Perry here…“The fatal fall is not that you choose the wrong person, the fault is within.” 

3) Demonstrating acceptance.
    Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. Genesis 2:25 (NLT)

I’ve posted blogs about this before, including the one I referenced above. But the attitude of premarital sex among teens and adults, both Christian and non-Christian is scary. I believe it is one of the main reasons the divorce rate is so high. It’s not so much about what we may be doing outside of marriage, but what we are NOT doing inside of marriage. Let me explain that statement. If we are communicating with our spouses, giving unconditional love to them, and keeping them happy in the bedroom 😉 they won’t even be interested in anything outside the marriage! 

Men and women obviously think very differently, which is why God created us to complete each other. We just have to try and put ourselves in each other’s shoes. Women, you know how badly you’d like for the house to be clean and dinner to be cooked? Well, your hubby wants sex about four times that much! Try, try, and try to put yourself in his shoes. Talk to him and get him to explain to you what he is dealing with, whatever it is, and try to imagine how you would begin to handle it. I promise if you do this, you will begin to feel differently, and realize that you really are both on the same team! 

“The result of intimacy is that you can stop pretending to be somebody you’re not.” That is the best feeling in the world. When you can be completely comfortable with your spouse, physically and emotionally, it’s a bond that cannot be broken. That’s the marriage that God intended. If we have a past that includes other partners, it’s much harder to get to that point of intimacy in a marriage because it is difficult to get past the thought that we are being compared to someone else. That’s where God is so amazing. No matter where we are in life or what our past is, God can take us forward. Don’t put limitations on God by thinking that the past is too much to overcome.I have overcome the world, he says. 

I’ll leave you with one last quote from Perry,“If your spouse if really damaged [if they have a lot to overcome], it means that God knew you were really capable of endurance.”

During my seven years of hell as I call it, David had to put up with a lot. Now I’ve had to put up with a lot too, but he got it all concentrated into seven straight years with no break. But he endured, and he will tell you that the miracle I received on September 25th of last year was really his miracle. Maybe it was. I just know that our endurance, our persistence, our struggling together, and our celebrating together have landed us in a wonderful marriage, which would not have been possible without God. 

From my heart, 
Celeste



Filed Under: Marriage Menders Tagged With: ,

Overcome the fear of dying

11 September, 2011 by 1 Comment
Let me start today’s post by saying that we all need to remember the families of those who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001. I lost my dad to lung cancer on October 25th of that same year. It’s hard to believe 10 years has past. I can’t imagine having lost someone in such a terrible, nonsensical tragedy. Watching my dad die of lung cancer was certainly not easy. Death is tough. Death is horrible. If we had the knowledge of how we were going to die, I don’t believe we could function with any sense of normalcy. The thing is, though, we all will die. Every single one of us.
Just after the twin towers were hit on that dreadful day, several of my friends called or showed up in tears, totally unsure of everything. What happens when we die? Why does God let such things happen? 
Why are we even here? How can we live like this? 
Do you know people who live in fear? I have to say that I’m preaching to myself here. Do you know that I won’t fly on the same airplane as my husband if we are traveling without the kids? I’m afraid of leaving our kids parentless if our plane were to crash, so we fly separately and meet at our destination. Now is that irrational or what? I’m not afraid to die myself, just of leaving my kids without parents!
When my dad died, it was the saddest experience of my life. I knew, however, that my dad would be spending his eternity in Heaven. While he was in the hospital, before we ever knew his prognosis, he said, “Whether I live one day, six months, or ten years, I have no regrets and I’m ready to go.”
And I knew that about my dad. It comforted me.  I’m thankful he said those words, but I knew that’s how he felt without even if he never said it. 
The other thing that strangely comforted me was knowing that my dad was not singled out to die. No one targeted him as a human being different from others who would have to experience death. It was his time, but death comes for everyone’s dad, everyone’s mom, everyone’s sister, daughter, son, friend…you get the picture.
I don’t mean to be morbid, just factual. We all are going to die someday, somehow. So how do we handle it?
We must have an eternal perspective.
I like the way my hubby thinks about life and eternity…
He draws a timeline:
                
Beginning—-[-]—>———->———->———->———->Eternity
                        ^^
                      life
We have a long timeline from the beginning of time to eternity, and eternity never ends. Our life is but one little “blip” in that long timeline. It’s not the short experience of life and death that we should fear, but how we spend eternity. How we live this short little “blip” will determine how we spend eternity…in heaven or in hell. As long as we have Christ as our savior, we have absolutely nothing to fear. In fact, in death we have nothing to lose; we can only gain. In Philippians 1:21, Paul tells us, For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain. Here’s what C.S. Lewis says on that verse:
“What a state we have got into when we can’t say ‘I’ll be happy when God calls me’ without being afraid one will be thought ‘morbid.’ After all, St. Paul said just the same. If we really believe what we say we believe–if we really think that home is elsewhere and that this life is a ‘wandering to find home,’ why should we not look forward to the arrival? There are, aren’t there, only three things we can do about death: to desire it, to fear it, or to ignore it. The third alternative, which is the one modern world calls ‘healthy’ is surely the most uneasy and precarious of all.”
I am afraid of leaving my kids without parents, and if feasible, I will probably continue to fly separate from my husband because it give me some peace of mind. But that is the human in me, and I know it’s not rational. When God decides to take me home, it won’t matter what I’m doing. He is in control. The only thing I can do to calm my fears is to teach my children to also think with an eternal perspective. I must teach them that God is in control, he has a plan, and we must only accept and trust him. 
We need to stop thinking that this life is all we have, and we must teach that to our children as well. We need to stop being afraid of death. If we have Christ in our heart, we have nothing to fear. There is no one, absolutely no one, that can take eternity away from us. Satan will try, I promise, but he has no defenses against Christ. I have to quote my favorite verse here again: In this world you will have trouble, but take heart [fear not], for I have overcome the world (John 16:33). We just need to make sure that whenever, wherever, however it happens, we are ready. Ready to spend an incredible eternity in a place more wonderful than anywhere we could ever even imagine! 
From my heart, 


Celeste
Filed Under: Fighting Your Fears, Have an Eternal Perspective, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , ,

A Flavorful Life

10 September, 2011 by 1 Comment
Whenever I read or hear this verse, I can’t help but think of Grandpa.
Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with one another.
He’s actually my grandpa-in-law, but I’ve always thought of him as my grandpa (I met my hubby when I was 13, so he’s been “grandpa” for more than two-thirds of my life!)
Whenever we have grandpa over to out house to eat, you’re guaranteed to hear this conversation:
“Pass the salt please”
(Shake shake shake shake shake shake shake)

“Is this stuff coming out?”
(taste)

“Is this real salt or that fake stuff you always use?”
(taste…shake shake shake shake)

“This isn’t real salt”

“When are you going to get the real stuff in this house?”
Grandpa just does not like sea salt. He wants the “real thing.”
He has led a full, happy life, and if too much salt is the only thing threatening his health, let him have it.
Grandpa has always lived a life of service to God and kindness to anyone with whom he comes in contact. He’s spent his life sprinkling his salt on all those around him and therefore has lived a very “flavorful” life.
A life without Jesus is not satisfying. No matter what you try to substitute, Jesus is the “real thing.”
Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? (Luke 14:34).
Today is Grandpa’s 98th birthday. If I make it to 98 years old, I hope that my life have been spent sprinkling my salt on others and reflected on as a flavorful life.
Grandpa is still making sure his salt tank stays full so he can continue to sprinkle it’s contents until he needs it no longer. We are taking Grandpa to dinner for his birthday tonight, and since we are going to a restaurant, I’m sure the salt will be the “real thing.” And even though we are eating Italian, don’t think for a minute you won’t hear, “Pass the salt please.”
I now keep “real” salt in my house… just for Grandpa.
From my heart,


Celeste
Happy Birthday Grandpa!
Filed Under: How to be Happy, Just for Fun, Living in Faith, Living with Purpose Tagged With: , ,

Dr. God

7 September, 2011 by 1 Comment
 


     We have always heard God referred to as “father,” but how often do we really think of him as our father? Our daddy? It’s hard because he is not tangible. We cannot touch or hug him. But when he created us, he gave us the ability to have faith. We just have to tap into it. With faith, we can use our imagination to imagine him sitting on the sofa with us talking; sitting at the kitchen table while we do read our Bible; wrapping his arms around us when we are hurting. All we have to do is take the step to go there.
     Now let’s take it a step further. God is our father, and he wants us to talk to him and get to know him just as we would our earthly father. But he is also the great physician. Our great physician. So why do we rely so heavily on doctors and medicine to help us? I’ve quoted this before, but it definitely bears repeating:
     “If God’s aim is to grant perfect health to all his children, he has failed, because no one enjoys perfect health, and everyone dies. But if God’s aim is to expand the boundaries of his kingdom, then he has succeeded. For every time he heals, a thousand sermons are preached.”~Max Lucado
     When I had my first seizure, it was a total shock. It came completely out of nowhere. Here was my thought process: “What in the world happened to my brain and why? How am I possibly going to keep from driving for 6 months with three kids? Well, maybe somehow this is God’s way of protecting me from an accident or something.” Then, after a few months I thought, “You know, David and I have gotten to spend much more time together since I haven’t been able to drive. It’s really been good for us.” I was looking for what God was teaching me. But then, after I had the second seizure when I broke my nose and ended up with sinus surgery, my focus shifted. Rather than rely on God and look for what he was teaching me, I began to try to figure out how I could fix myself. The ‘sciency’ pharmacist in me began to search for a cure. That’s when the snowball turned into an avalanche, and for seven years I was lost…searching…in all the wrong places. 
     As a child, we need our daddy to “make me feel better.” As adults, whether our dads are still with us or not, we must rely on our heavenly father to make us feel better. Well, God is not only our father, but also the great physician. We can rely on him for comfort in times of need, but we can also rely on him for healing. He WILL heal us if we accept, love, and get to know him personally. But here’s the catch: God has so much good stuff in store for us, but it may not be here on this earth. He has perfect health for us, but it may not be here on this earth. We will have to endure tough stuff while we live in this world. He tells us in John 16:33: In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world. He will heal us, but it may be through death and entrance into heaven. 
      We think of our lifetime as lasting forever, because our human brains cannot comprehend eternity. But in reality, the span of time we spend here on earth is like a drop in the ocean compared to eternity. The sooner we can focus on the bigger picture, accept what we have here do what God wants us to with it, the sooner we can find peace, contentment, and happiness in our life here because we know it’s in preparation for bigger things to come. I’m not saying to just accept bad things as your fate in life…we just can’t have a victim mentality. I’m just saying if we take what God has given us, and look for ways to use our life for him, we will find peace and will be rewarded abundantly. 
      So let’s rely on God, our heavenly father, our great physician, to lead and guide us through whatever we are going through. Use his words to find comfort and healing. Imagine his loving arms around you and his peace flowing over you. I have Marlee imagine Jesus wrapping his arms around her every night when she is in bed saying her prayers. Please don’t roll your eyes…I know, it might seem silly to some. But if you can just do what he says when he tells us to “Be still and know that I am God,” the intangible will actually become tangible…real. If you are still enough and quiet enough, you can feel him. 
     “Be still…”
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Filed Under: Beating Depression, Brain Functions, Chronic Illness, God's Pharmacy, Living in Faith, Overcoming Addiction, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , ,

What I learned from Rudy Giuliani…

6 September, 2011 by Leave a Comment
A few weeks ago, David and I went to a big motivation seminar held in downtown Greenville. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Rudy Giuliani spoke about something that’s
fascinating and frustrating to me these days…the “almighty” internet. 
With the invention of the internet, we have “knowledge” at our fingertips and it travels faster than we are capable of dealing with. Computer knowledge is necessary to live in this century. It’s here, and it’s here to stay. The problem is, however, that we have stopped thinking for ourselves. We are becoming a manipulated society. 
One of the problems I have with this computer generation is how we are becoming so accustomed to immediate gratification. With health issues, it is frustrating because as patients, we punch in our symptoms on the keyboard and the computer generates a list of possibilities. Within an hour or so, we have diagnosed ourselves! Let me give you an example of a pharmacist “friend” of mine…
She was seven months pregnant, had an eight-year-old and four-year-old also, and a husband who happened to be out of town. After work, she went to retrieve her children, and her mom commented about a “bump” on her forehead. She had thought it was just a weird zit! In a panic, her mom said, “You call the dermatologist in the morning and you tell him you have to be seen immediately! That looks exactly like what Nita’s daughter had and it was melanoma!” 
Well, since she was a pharmacist, she knew to just look it up on the computer and she would see it was nothing. SO…after getting the kids to bed, she finally sat down at the computer around midnight. By 1:00 a.m. she was convinced that she was dying of melanoma and would be leaving her husband with three kids to raise alone. That made for one long, sleepless night. 
Anybody had a similar experience? I’m sure you’ve realized that that “friend” was me. As a pharmacist, I should have known better! The sad thing is I have gone to the computer more than once for my need for immediate gratification, and more than once I’ve come to the wrong conclusion.
To keep us thinking for ourselves and not relying on Sir Google, Mr. Giuliani suggested five things we must do to keep our minds active and maintain our ability to think independently:
1) Read books–have a basis to make your own decisions. Don’t just read other people’s opinions about what they’ve read. 
2) Listen–to other people. Seek advice from people you look up to and believe in. You can become a leader by learning from other successful people. 
3) Take notes–never stop writing. Write your thoughts, goals, lists…keep the parts of your mind active that make you an individual.
4) Take five minutes every day to just STOP–relax, pray, stop your world for a few minutes.
5) Most importantly, we must care and love other people. The computer tends to isolate and disconnect us from people. Sure we have Facebook and email, and they are great ways to communicate. But they don’t allow us to see the heart of people or minister to their needs. 
Coming from the person in charge of NYC when the twin towers were hit on 9/11/2001, I wanted to listen.  The Rudy Giuliani I watched handle that chaos and tragedy obviously had standards and values in place that helped him. While he relied on computers and statistics to help New York recover from that tragedy, it was his willingness to listen to people one on one and his compassion for them that made the difference in those months after September 2001. He prayed and asked God’s guidance in knowing the right steps to take. He relied on his heavenly father for wisdom and instruction. While it was one of the toughest times our country has endured, I consider Rudy Giuliani a man of great character and principal, and someone to learn from. 
I thought his “five things” were very interesting. I find myself doing all of those things these days, though I would have never put them together in a list on thinking independently. I realized, though, that during my seven years of depression, I didn’t want to do any of those things. I didn’t want to read books to because I just wanted to mindlessly watch television so I didn’t have to think about my world. I got to a point where I didn’t want to seek advice of others because I was convinced it was hopeless. I never thought writing things down would help me, although I’d been told to try it more than once. I prayed, but it was selfish prayer. I was too busy being self-absorbed in my own pity party to worry about anyone else long enough to actually do something that required effort. 
I wonder now how much sooner I could have overcome the depression if I had made the items on this list a priority? Hmmm…
From my heart, 
Celeste
Filed Under: Beating Depression, Handling Stress, How to be Happy, Living in Faith, Making Changes, The Power of Prayer, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

“It’s all in your mind.”

5 September, 2011 by 5 Comments
Has someone ever said to you, “It’s all in your mind?” It’s a funny and not so funny thing that my dad used to always say those words to me, and now my husband does! It made me crazy then, and it makes me crazy now. HOWEVER (and I promise you these words WILL come back to haunt me), we can train ourselves to think in a way that can change our mind, our hearts, and our world.
How often do you decide you want to change something about yourself? Or start something new? We are always growing and changing as our life progresses, yet we are also creatures of habit. I blogged about this same topic called “Small Beginnings” if you’d like to read that post as well, you can see it here:
I can’t tell you how many times I decided I would change my diet and threw away everything in my pantry; how many times I decided to get in shape and spent 3 hours at the gym, then couldn’t get out of bed the next day; decided to “spring clean” and cleaned out so much stuff at one time I had a bigger mess than when I started! 
In all of these situations, I set myself up for failure. It has taken me a LONG time to learn, but in order to really change, you must take small steps. If you are making a positive change in your life, and you begin to see good in the first small steps, you will eagerly await the next one. 
For example, if you want to diet, the first logical step would be to replace all of your beverages with water for two weeks. After that time is up, water will be a natural choice for you, you may have already lost a little weight, and you’ll be ready to take the next small step…like walking for 30 minutes a day. 
If you want to save money, make a conscious decision to eat at home instead of eating out when you normally would, then put what you would have spent aside and see how much you have saved in two weeks. This will “train” your mind to realize that even small things can make a difference. 
If you want to have the uncluttered home you’ve always coveted, spend 25 minutes a day devoted ONLY to cleaning out clutter. Do not tackle more than you can accomplish in 25 minutes, and then make the commitment to yourself NOT to let that area get cluttered again. Little by little, this will become a way of thinking, and in just 6 months to a year, you might just have that house you always wanted! (oh…and when you declutter, put whatever you are getting rid of in a black trash bag and get it OUT OF THE HOUSE…to go to trash, good will, consignment, wherever, just don’t leave it in the house.)
Now, all of these things are obviously things I’ve done, and am still doing. Each one of these areas of my life gets easier every day. But without the steps I’ve taken every day to get to know my Jesus better, none of these other things would matter. They are all in this life, here and now. We need to be happy here and now, but we also must know that none of these things will matter someday. So while me make little changes to shape our life here, we must also make little changes to shape our life there…in eternity. 
Begin to do small thing each day to get to know Jesus better. Find a good non-fiction book to read to begin teaching you about your Jesus. “The Purpose Driven Life” comes to mind since I’ve blogged about it recently. “Seeing Through the Lies” is a book by Vonda Skelton my bible study is about to start. Another book to begin to change the way you think is “Crazy Love” by Frances Chan. Don’t go to the bookstore and get a Beth Moore bible study right off the bat, or you’ll probably find it sitting alone on your desk next week untouched. They are wonderful, but time consuming. Start small. Just read a book. A little each day.
Maybe make “Fireproof” your Friday night rental. Make WLFJ the station you listen to in your car. Before long, you’ll realize that you are getting to know your Jesus, and you’ll want more of him. You may begin to see and feel changes that surprise you! 
I have not always known Jesus personally, even though I claimed him as my savior. I believe many Christians are in the same boat I’ve been in most of my life. It took seven years of sheer hell…severe depression, migraine headaches, grand mal seizures, and prescription drug addiction…to make me see the light at the end of the tunnel, and that light was Jesus. Plain and simple. I pray that this blog, and the hard lessons I have learned, might help someone else NOT have to learn them the hard way. I’d like to know that the horrid seven years I endured weren’t just for me. I want them to be for you too. 
“It’s all in your mind” is a statement that frustrates. It’s overwhelming. And I think it may be a little sexist since it seems to be men that love to say it! =o/ But if we can begin to do small things, we can begin to change the big things. If we change our habits, we will change our thoughts. If we change our thoughts, we will change our world. 
From my heart, 
Celeste
Filed Under: Making Changes Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , ,

Does our sin separate us from God?

30 August, 2011 by 1 Comment


Two years ago, I attended a “Women of Faith” conference, and was very intrigued by one of the speakers. Her name is Ashley Smith. A few years ago in Atlanta, she was instantly place in the spotlight as she was abducted and held hostage by Brian Nichols, a convicted killer. Her book, “Unlikely Angel: The Untold Story of the Atlanta Hostage Hero,” was an amazing account of every thought and action that took place during the seven hours she was held hostage.

I listened to her speak, and while she was very humble, her “miracle” was very fresh, and I wondered whether or not she could maintain a drug free life and uphold the promises she made to God that night.

In her book, she reveals she had tried and tried to become free of drugs, and she was reading and studying “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. While she had told God time and time again that she was done with drugs and ready to straighten her life out, she always kept a little stash “just in case.”


I think when we are in sin and are telling ourselves that we won’t do “whatever” again, and we still have that something on the back burner available if we need it, we are separating ourselves from God. I think of it as an invisible shield between God and me. In our head, we think we are doing the right thing. We talk ourselves into it…we justify. But at the same time, we know in our heart and in the back of our mind that we are keeping that sin on standby. 

Other than our prescription verse above, scripture also tells us when we justify our sin, we don’t have truth, which is the light in Jesus Christ. 

If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8 ESV

Ok, back to Ashley Smith. I picked up her book to read (after having it for two years) and after finishing it, decided to Google her to see how she’s doing now. I was so happy to see that she is doing great. I’ve included a video here (part 1 and 2) of a show she was interviewed on not too long ago. I hope you will enjoy it.


For me, my sin was addiction. Yes, I had an issue with Lortab, and that was awful, but that is not the big picture. As the title of my story reflects, I was addicted to the chase…the chase to cure my migraine headaches; the chase to cure my seizures; the chase to be happy; the chase to grab my mask so no one would know how miserable I was; the chase to constantly isolate myself from family and friends because I felt such guilt when I was around them. Instead of focusing on God and what he could do, I focused on myself. On my misery; my search for a cure; my guilt. During that time, I missed an opportunity to let Christ minister to me. Thank goodness he rescued me from myself!

When I finished reading “Unlikely Angel,” and I thought about how I’d held on to my sin, I realized something important. When you make a promise to God that you will no longer give a home to your sin, and you truly have made the decision to put it behind you, the best way to stay on course is to use your experience to help others. I know blogging and writing is not the right avenue for everyone, but when we begin to help other people in similar situations, God gives us strength. When we can share with another person the covenant we’ve made with God, we will hold ourselves more accountable to it. When we can really be transparent, and realize that we are not perfect and neither is anyone else, we will find great freedom. It’s amazing to find out how common your struggle is…whatever it is. 

If you have read my story and my blogs, you know how truly happy I am. I’ve always had a heart for people, but for the seven years of my illness and “chase,” I lost my focus. I couldn’t see others very well, only myself. Now that my vision has been corrected, there is nothing more rewarding that sharing the amazing love that God has for us…and actually feeling it first hand. 

From my heart, 
Celeste

Filed Under: Living in Faith, Living with Purpose, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

What is the purpose of life?

29 August, 2011 by 5 Comments

I received the following email today from my stepdad containing the answer to universal question we all ask: “What is our purpose?” On August 10th, I posted “In Sickness and in Health” with this same prescription, and this interview with Rick Warren is right along those same lines. Enjoy!
You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having ‘wealth’ from the book sales.
This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, author of “The Purpose Driven Life” and pastor of Saddleback Church in California.
In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said:
“People ask me, ‘What is the purpose of life?’
And I respond: In a nutshell, life is a preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him and in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body—but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act—the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.
We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn’t going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you’re just coming out of one, or you’re getting ready to go into another one.
The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort; God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that’s not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.
This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.
I used to think that life was hills and valleys—you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don’t believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it’s kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.
No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.
You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems:
If you focus on your problems, you’re going into self-centeredness, which is ‘my problem, my issues, my pain.’ But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.  
We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her—It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.
You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.
It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don’t think God give you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.
So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.
First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.
Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.
We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God’s purposes (for my life)?
When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, “God, if I don’t get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better.”
God didn’t put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He’s more interested in what I am than what I do.
That’s why we’re called human beings, not human doings.
Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quite moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.”
Enough said.

From my heart,

Celeste
Filed Under: Living with Purpose Tagged With: , ,

Do you plan your fun or simply let it happen?

28 August, 2011 by 1 Comment




I had a bible study to go to one night, and I left a few chores to be done while I was gone. One of which was to put away the monster size pack of toilet paper rolls from Sam’s. I was gone for three or so hours, and I was amazed to come home to see that the pack of TP was actually gone from the place I left it, and nowhere to be found. Visit inside my brain….”They actually put it up! I can’t believe someone actually listened and they didn’t just zone out in front of the TV while was gone. I will really need to give them some praise so they realize how much I appreciate that they listened and did this small task for me. Maybe I need to remember to praise more and fuss less…”

…Think of my surprise when saw the kitchen sink:


APPARENTLY, as soon as I left, a toilet paper fight broke out: Twenty-four rolls of toilet paper flying through the air…”over the dogs and through the kitchen, to the sink full of dishes we go”; Kids hiding behind doors, diving over sofas, sliding across the kitchen floor. And when I say kids, I’m including my slightly oversized, 46-year-old kid as well.

They obviously didn’t think that I could appreciate such fun, and decided to attempt to hide it from me. Yes, all of the rolls of toilet paper were tucked away in the appropriate bathroom cabinets, but they were a little worse for the wear. None of them quite “rolled” the way toilet paper was intended! But the dead give-away was the soaking wet roll in the kitchen sink.

Now when I got home, no one was to be found. Trevor and Marlee were asleep, and Miranda was in our room talking to David. When I walked in with the wet roll of TP, I immediately saw very guilty looks on their faces, and Miranda said, “CRAP, I thought we got them all!” The gig was up.

A year ago, while I was still in the midst of my depression, I’d have just gotten frustrated. Now, I wish I’d been here! Or at least had a hidden camera so I could see it! They have laughed and laughed over those few unplanned hours with toilet paper therapy.

We need to enjoy the every day in life. The trips we plan and look forward to are sometimes great, and sometimes not so great; the elaborate plans we make for a family day may come together, but all to often someone gets frustrated or upset; but who would have ever imagined the memories and joy that came from a huge pack of toilet paper from Sam’s…

Let life happen and look for the joy. Every single day.

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Filed Under: How to be Happy, Just for Fun Tagged With: , ,

So where is Jesus?

27 August, 2011 by 1 Comment


We battle bullying as kids and teens, but as adults, I hope that we are past that stage, but how often do we judge someone without really knowing them, or avoid talking to them because of the way they look? 

Jesus says, whatever you do for the least of these, you do also to me. Yes, we need to have compassion for the poor, feed the hungry, help in times of crisis, etc., but I don’t think that’s all Jesus meant when he said that. Look again at the part, “you have also done unto me.” How often could we actually be encountering Jesus in “the least of these”?

How would you react in the following situations?

Your assigned seat on your flight is next to a mentally retarded man. You know he will talk to you the whole time if you sit beside him, and you really wanted to relax and read your book.

You are rushing through the grocery store to get home, an see a woman on your isle leaning in really close to the spice jars struggling to find what she needs because she has very limited vision, obviously from a terrible accident.

The mom of a girl in class with your daughter always tries to duck away unnoticed because she is scarred from a burn on one whole side of her face, and you know she really wants to be involved with class activities.

You are sitting in your doctors office waiting for them to call you back and a hearing impaired man, who speaks very loudly, strikes up a conversation with you.

What if one of the people you want to avoid could be Jesus Christ himself? Should we assume that it’s not because he doesn’t look like the Jesus we know? Or because Jesus ascended back into Heaven after being risen from the dead so we won’t see him again til we get there? 

I went to a financial seminar yesterday and met a sweet new friend. The really weird part…well, let me tell you the story. 

I have to start with the fact that I have vitiligo. It’s an autoimmune disease that destroys the cells in your skin that hold pigment. You might recognize it better as the “Michael Jackson disease.” There’s not too much research on it because it’s a cosmetic problem more than anything else, and the other autoimmune diseases like lupus & rheumatoid arthritis are much more important. I developed it during my second pregnancy, and it gets a little worse each year, but because I have fair skin anyway, it’s not that noticeable. 

Last year, David and I ate with some friends at a downtown steakhouse, and I noticed a black waitress with vitiligo on her face, and it was very noticeable. I had the thoughts, “I hope mine is never that bad.” and “I’m glad I have fair skin and am not dark skinned.” And that was the extent of my thoughts. This was not a situation where I avoided her, I just noticed her.

At the seminar yesterday, I saw a black woman with pretty bad vitiligo. Only this time, I found myself wanting to talk to her. I am trying a new herbal treatment for my vitiligo, and if it works, I wanted to be able to tell her about it. But I wondered, “ Is she going to think I’m rude for bringing it up? Will she tell me to mind my own business? Will I just make her more self-conscious?” Nevertheless, I felt a gentle nudging to talk to her. And wouldn’t you know she had the sweetest, most endearing personality? And when we talked, she revealed to me that she saw someone years ago with vitiligo all around their eyes, and she hoped she’d never have it that bad, but now she does. That’s when I told her about the waitress I saw at the restaurant.

“That’s where I work!” she exclaimed.

She was the waitress that I’d seen that day! 

I was so glad that I was not to “whatever” to talk to her. Afraid? Intimidated? Uncomfortable? I gave her my contact info, and I hope to talk to her more. God has people cross our path for a reason. You never know who that person could be, or why they cross your path, but when you feel that little “nudge,” there’s a reason. I have no idea where this contact will go, but I knew God was nudging me to make it. And I’m so glad that I did!

So next time you decide to avoid that person who might make you uncomfortable, think about who it might be, or who you could be to them.  

Do you wonder where Jesus is?

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Filed Under: Real Relationships, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , ,

Intercourse…an adventure or a destination?

25 August, 2011 by 1 Comment


Be honest. Did the title make you want to read this? I’m sure this one will catch my hubby’s eye…and I can’t get him to read hardly anything I write! It’s not very long, but you have to read to the end to get the title…
If you have read my recent posts, you know my hubby and I just celebrated our 22nd anniversary. See my posts titled, “Its time for….” and “Do you get it?” to be up to date to understand this post…
This last year has been an incredible year for me…and us.  My new life in Christ has been the most incredible year of my life. I never thought that a close, personal connection with my Savior could outdo everything else! And while it outshines everything else in my life, my relationship with Christ makes everything in my life so much more special than ever before.
I thought nothing could top getting married.
I thought nothing could top giving birth to three beautiful children.
I thought nothing could top building my dream house with my husband and kids.  Until…
After seven years of the hell I went through, God reached down with his arms of comfort, peace, grace, and mercy and brought me to a place better than anything I could have imagined. Better than marriage, better than motherhood, better than my “American dream.” He brought me to a place of complete rest and contentment in him. He brought me to a new level of understanding with an eternal perspective. He freed me from all of the prisons I’d been keeping myself in. And now, all of those other things that I gave such high value to are better than they ever were before. I appreciate and love my family on a whole new level, and my dream house is just a house, with my “American dream” residing inside the house…and inside my heart.  If you ask me how, I can only explain with one word…miracle.
Ok, this was supposed to be a fun post, so I’ll get back to the “fun” part.
When my miracle is brought up in conversation, my hubby will be the first to say that it wasn’t MY miracle, but HIS. Sometimes I agree when I look back at what he had to deal with for seven years. I don’t know how he was able to handle a depressed wife, the responsibility of three kids, work, the house, and finances…and the list goes on and on. So while we were on our anniversary trip–the first anniversary we have looked forward to in quite a long time–we ended up traveling through Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Well, if you know David (or any man for that matter), he could not pass up the photo opportunity.  And he joked, “It only took us twenty-two years to make it to Intercourse, and I guess it took my second wife to get me here!”
So now, after my miracle, David loving refers to me as his “second” wife.
…And it’s amazing.
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Filed Under: How to be Happy, Just for Fun, Miracles Do Happen Tagged With: , , , , ,

Living IN the world, not OF it

22 August, 2011 by 1 Comment


Okay my friends, with 17, 12, and 8-year-old children, we seem to be in all stages of “development” these days! Lots of interesting discussions in our house lately. 

The subject of “the birds and the bees” is never an easy one to discuss with your children, but it is necessary that we do. I promise they are getting the information somewhere, so if you want to be the one to teach them, you’d better be aware of the information they are getting. As you well know, kids today are hearing all kinds of things at younger and younger ages. 

I have found myself recently in discussions with other moms on the B&B’s. I am so proud of the young woman that my 17 year old, Miranda, is turning out to be. By the grace of God, she has turned out well! I always call her our guinea pig since she was the first child subjected to our parenting skills! David and I have applied a few rules in our journey as parents I want to share.  
      
Answer questions as they come up, without giving more information than asked. Do not dismiss their questions as if they are silly.
        
Always answer questions about our bodies with emphasis on the fact that God created every little part of our bodies for a purpose and in His image. 

When the sex subject comes up, don’t freak out and assume that your child is doing something wrong, and don’t be so embarrassed you can’t talk about sex with them. 

Just as the case with many of God’s creations, the world has distorted and cheapened something that God created to be an intimate, one-of-a-kind bond between a husband and wife. Always keep this in mind when dealing with anything in this world that has been changed by the sinful world we live in. 

Instill self-confidence in your child. Help them realize and understand that God created them and they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:13-16). With girls especially, love from and self-confidence instilled by their father will have a huge impact on their choices of boyfriends and a husband. If they don’t feel this fatherly love, they may seek love and acceptance in boyfriends. I know that Miranda is the teenager she is today because her daddy has put her on a pedestal her entire life, and she will accept no less from anyone she dates or marries. Her values are strongly in place, and there is no one who could persuade her to do anything she did not want to do.

When you talk to your child about sex, try not to make a big deal about it. In other words, don’t break out “The Encyclopedia of Sex” (all four volumes) and try to explain it all at once! (Can you guess how I learned about those birds and bees? =o/ It was one loooong night!) 

Last, we work very hard not to shelter our children from the ways of the world. You must understand, however, that there is a difference between the KNOWLEDGE of this world and being INVOLVED in the ways of this world. Every family is different, and as parents, we are often products of the environment in which we were raised. Ahusband and wife bring to the parenting table a mixture of the ways they were raised. In our family, we do not worry about our children seeing us undressed (like getting into the bath or shower). As a matterof fact, during the years that I was having seizures, Trevor would not let me take a bath without someone in the bathroom with me (fearing I would drown if I had a seizure), and he was often the one with that job. (Don’t use your imagination here…it would not be a pretty sight! =o/) They know the differences between the anatomy of men and women, so their curiosity does not land them in a search for answers in the wrong places. We do not want to create a “forbidden fruit.” And again, I want to emphasize that we answer questions as theycome up. Often children will not ask a question until they are ready tohear the answer.

Nowhere in the Bible does God condone pre-marital sex. He specifically forbids it. In the world of our teenagers, and adults too for that matter, it is difficult to recognize the difference between Christians and non-Christians. That’s not acceptable. God calls us to be a peculiar people, and that’s what we need to be. In the world, not of the world.  
     
Keep in mind that I am only a parent to my three children, and every child is different. I am certainly no expert on raising children; I just want to share what has worked (so far) with me. Sometimes, well most of the time, children do not believe parents really know anything. They may have to learn lessons the hard way, and the best you can do for them is pray. 

So dig in your heels and brace yourself. If it hasn’t already been, it will be a subject in your home eventually. Don’t be blindsided by it–be prepared! 

I will be praying for you and your children. After all, my children will be choosing their spouses someday, and I want great young men and women for them to choose from! 




From my heart, 


Celeste 

Filed Under: Living in Faith, Living with Purpose, Parenting Tips, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , , ,