Why This Teenage Girl Doesn’t Kiss Her Boyfriend

11 October, 2016 by Leave a Comment

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I couldn’t help but share this post a senior friend of Trevor’s posted on Facebook. We all know how our society has become so sexually promiscuous. When it’s time for my second and third child to get married, I want them to have someone to choose from who has saved themselves for marriage. I’m not belittling those who have already chosen to have sex, and there is a very real concept called “reclaimed virginity.” It’s not to late to change your lifestyle because God is a forgiving and merciful God. By dying on the cross he’s already overcome all of our sins. But if you can know God’s intentions for sex before you are in a serious relationship, it will make life much easier, and you’ll be honoring God above all else.

If you are a teenager, read this. If you have a teenager, have them read this or read it to them. What Ashley is writing here is from her heart…the heart of a 17-year-old girl. I know she has one proud mama! It takes an huge amount of courage to not just hold tight to your beliefs, but to profess them on the world wide webb for all to see. Incredibly brave.

 

“God has really been placing this on my heart to talk about and discuss
lately. As many of my friends know, I have been dating Brandon for over a
year now. Early on in our relationship, we decided that we wanted to set
“guardrails” and “boundaries” in our relationship as far as physical stuff
goes. Now, we had these set, but honestly, neither of us really understood why.

We thought “Well, we aren’t having sex, so what’s the big deal?” I’ve found that this is the mindset that many of my friends have towards their relationship. After Brandon and I had been dating for about 6 months or so we sat down and discussed our relationship. I had been doing a bible student called, “The 7 Lies of Teen Dating”, and through the whole study, the same question kept popping up in my head, “Why am I asking the question ‘how far is too far?’ When I should be asking ‘how far is not honoring God?”

A verse that Brandon and I really looked at and prayed about was 1 Corinthians 6:20 “God owns the whole works.So let people see God in and through your body.” We both decided that we wanted our bodies and physical aspects of our relationship to demonstrate our love for God.”

I’m jumping into the middle of her post here to share the entire passage of scripture from 1 Corinthians:

16-20 There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, “The two become one.” Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever—the kind of sex that can never “become one.” There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin we violate the sacredness of our own bodies, these bodies that were made for God-given and God-modeled love, for “becoming one” with another. Or didn’t you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit? Don’t you see that you can’t live however you please, squandering what God paid such a high price for? The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole works. So let people see God in and through your body.

Now back to Ashley:

“Originally, we decided that the only physical contact we would have is a peck, and only once on an hour. Now being a teenager in a world where that is the complete opposite of the social norm, we were definitely laughed at. Now a little over 95 days ago me and Brandon decided that we wanted to eliminate kissing all together. As far as physical aspects in our relationship, we wanted to limit ourselves to hugging and kissing on the cheek. We wanted to go 95 days with no distractions, and we spent those 95 days getting closer to God and building our relationship on a God foundation. Obviously, this was not something that was easy to just tell my friends or classmates about at school, and when people found out, it was usually just laughs and side comments.

I want to address some of the questions and statements people say to me in regards to what me and Brandon do. Keep in mind I’m only 17 years old, and Brandon is my first serious relationship, so I am definitely not a relationship expert by any means, and I’m still learning from my mentors how I can better and build my relationship on a God foundation. Hopefully, this will give people some light on the subject or give someone the courage to make changes in their current or future relationship.ashleyavila

1. “Do you really love Brandon if you don’t kiss him? And does he really love you?”
The answer to this question is really simple to me. Yes, I love him, and
yes he loves me. I didn’t wake up one day and say “kissing is gross, I
don’t want to do that anymore.” It took a lot of strength and courage from
God for us to make this decision. But I promise you girls, it’s one thing for a guy to say “I love you” and it’s another for him to say, “I love you, but I love God more so I’m putting him at the center of our relationship, and I will put him before you.”
2. “Are you even in a relationship if you don’t kiss?”
Yes. A relationship isn’t suppose to be about physicality. My dad has told me ever since I was a little girl that dating is just an interview before marriage. Somewhere down the line our society has gotten this social norm that relationships should be based on physical things and that’s just normal and “being a teeanger”, and those who chose other wise are viewed as weird. But honestly building a relationship on physicality is one of the most unsturdy foundations. The only sturdy foundation to build a relationship on is God, so you should honor God in your relationship.
3. “You’re only a teenager once, and you’re wasting it.”
Again, I have a simple response. I may only be a teenager once, but I only get to live my life for God once. Nuff said.

(What an awesome perspective for everyone!)

4. “If you’re gonna marry Brandon, then why does it matter how far you go?”

Well, as much as I love Brandon and hope that I will marry him one day, I don’t know who I will marry. Only God knows who I will end up marrying, and until I am at my wedding saying “I do,” I don’t know who my husband will be. But as a christian, it is my job to stay as pure as possible for my future husband.”

Incredible post Ashley. Thanks for letting me share. Ashley has started her own blog now on Christian Dating and I wanted to share that link with you: https://heleadsifollowweb.wordpress.com/

Please share this with anyone you know who has teenagers…let’s make her post go viral!

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Filed Under: Family Focused, Freedom in Christ, God-Sized Dreams, Living in Faith, Living with Purpose, Parenting Tips, Real Relationships Tagged With: , , , , , ,

A Million Ways

12 May, 2013 by 2 Comments

happymothersday

My life has been so busy these last few weeks I’ve had a hard time just posting twice a week, and on Fridays it’s just a five minute post! But I can’t let mother’s day go by without a quick post for my mom. Among many other things, she’s one of my biggest fans! Laughing

I could not have made it thus far in life without her. Besides the fact that she did bring me into this world, and probably wanted to take me out of it a few times, she has always been there to help me…every time I’ve needed it. And believe me, I’ve kept her busy!

A million ways she’s shown her love for me…

She has always loved me unconditionally—as mom’s should—but has just as quickly held me accountable when I needed it. And helped me get through it when I couldn’t do it on my own.

She slept beside me when I was sick…even when I was 40 years old!

She babysits the kids anytime I ask if at all possible.

When I can’t get the house uncluttered, she comes to my rescue.

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When I need something altered, she’s my seamstress.

When I go out of town, she helps take care of our Sophie, Benji, Little Bit, Buttercupp, and Mally…and when I come home the house is cleaner than when I left, and my laundry is magically washed!

She always wants us to come for Sunday lunch for a hugh homemade meal. And when we go to church on Sundays, the kids almost always have friends with them. She makes room for however many strays we bring!

These few things I’ve mentioned don’t even scratch the surface.

She has made and is making baby quilts from my kids baby clothes and t-shirt quilts from their t-shirts. I really have no idea how I will EVER live up to the “grandma expectations” my kids will have of me!

And all of this stuff she does for me? She does for others too. {Just not as much of course.} Wink

And even though we do make each other a little crazy sometimes…because we are so much alike…I love her so much!

There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one~Jill Churchill

I’m so blessed to have my mom!

Happy Mother’s Day Mom! I love you!

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Filed Under: Family Focused, Just for Fun, Parenting Tips, Real Relationships

Make-a-change Monday~Simplify

16 July, 2012 by 4 Comments
I’m a “want-it-right-now” kinda girl. Patience is not one of my virtues. Obviously over the seven years I was sick, God was well aware of my lack of patience and was trying to teach me a thing or two.  And I’ve learned my lesson. The hard way.

Making changes that produce great results don’t come easy.
  • No matter how many times I throw away all the junk in my pantry promising myself that I will feed me and my family only healthy food. The Fudge Rounds and Lucky Charms always creep their way back in. 
  • Every time I get all of the clutter cleaned up, I swear I will not let it pile up like that again. Let the following picture tell you how that has turned out. I just took these on Instagram (6:52 pm Sunday evening)
If you read Saturday’s post: I’ve been kidnapped, you’ll 
understand why I have an air mattress in my living room…
I promise this will look like a completely different house tomorrow, but I can’t seem to keep it that way. It’s a simple concept I attempt (though obviously fail) to teach my kids… “when you get something out, put it away.” So simple, right? 

You would think.

Living with pack rats (the other four members of my family) plus three dogs and two cats…it’s a full zoo. Here’s just a small representation 😉


I wouldn’t trade my crazy zoo for anything. They all bless me. But things around here must get under control!  

I know the answer; I just don’t like what it takes to get there. I’ve had the “sign”—literally—for years:

 

I’ve followed a blog for a while called “Simple Mom” that’s all about simplifying your life. I think mine needs an overhaul. 


So my {make-a-change} this Monday was buying the following book. I’ve been trying for years to simplify…it’s obvious I need some help! The title caught my attention. One Bite at a Time sounds like it’s all about small changes. Right up my alley. 

It’s a $5.00 e-book and hopefully well worth the money. I’ll let you know how it goes in upcoming posts. Maybe I’ll share some of my changes and some pics with you on upcoming {make-a-change} Mondays and you can join along with me. Although, hopefully, you are not all as hopeless…

From my heart,
Celeste
Filed Under: Family Focused, Making Changes, Simplify Your Life Tagged With: , , , ,

Tips to a Happier You in 2012~Rest

7 April, 2012 by Leave a Comment



These next two months will hold many moments for me to stop and reflect. My firstborn is 18 years old today and will be graduating from high school next month. If time were personified she would obviously have wings. I’m really not sure where the last 18 years has gone. 


I look back at clouded memories wishing every moment had been recorded. But they weren’t. 


It’s up to me to hold those memories close to my heart.


It’s up to me to remember the good times, and let the bad memories remain in the past. Because let’s face it—they are not all good memories. 


Which brings me to today’s tip to a happier you: Take time away to rest and create some great memories with those you love. 


This week was spring break, and my family definitely made memories this week we will carry with us forever. With money a little tight right now, we—well, David— ran upon a Living Social deal and rented an RV for the week. Now let me tell you, camping for this girl is the Fairfield Marriott!


We spent three days as a very close-knit family of five. 

  • No television
  • A shower the size of a locker
  • A kitchen table converted to a bed
  • Five suitcases crammed in a pile in the corner
  • Wet towels and washcloths hanging on open cabinet doors

With those circumstances, we spent great family time.

  • We play game after game of cards and UNO on the table/bed before anyone slept on it
  • We didn’t have the distractions of a normal home: No laundry or dishes to be done, no cooking, and no point in straightening up.
  • Lots of outdoor time together hiking and climbing on rocks up the river

We had a great week and actually spent time together as a family, which life has a way of making impossible sometimes. 


The funniest memory of the week, though, was one I wouldn’t have anticipated. In an RV, there’s the dreadful task of emptying out the “black water.” For all you campers, you know what that is. For those of you like me, it’s the poop tank. 

The law of gravity is quite an important one to consider when emptying out the poop tank. There is a nice sized brown tube that connects from the RV to the hole in the ground that I suppose is a septic tank of sorts. The more experienced campers had a nice little wire rack that held the tube at the correct angle to drain the poop. We weren’t in the “experienced camper” category. In order to empty the tank, all five of us had to hold the tube off the ground at the correct angle. When it got too heavy in one spot and sagged, we had to get the “wave” motion going with the tube to drain it correctly. Teamwork! There’s nothing quite like feeling the weight of human waste flowing through a tube to create a family bonding moment that will last forever!  

So while we must exercise, eat correctly, clean house, work, and all the other stuff that takes our time, don’t forget to take time to just get away and rest and spend quality time with your family. And if you decide to embark on a camping trip, be sure to call me for tips on the poop tank! 
From my heart,
Celeste


Here’s a few snapshots from our trip…hope you enjoy! 😉


Filed Under: Family Focused, How to be Happy, Life Through the Lens, Tips to a Happier You Tagged With: , , , , ,

Make-a-change Monday~Rescue Your Fridge…and Your Family!

26 March, 2012 by Leave a Comment
Since we’ve been on the topic of food lately, I have a confession to make: 
I really don’t like to cook. 
For those of you who know me personally, I’m sure it’s no surprise. Cooking has always been a struggle for me. As soon as I get on a roll, I get in a rut. 
I begin with great intentions. 
•   I get together my recipes…some new and some old. 
•   I take a pantry inventory and make my grocery list.
•   After my trip to the store, I put away the groceries and keep my recipes out to use.
I typically cook the first few of my planned meals, but as the week progresses and schedules change, I end up with ingredients and leftovers in the refrigerator that I don’t use. 
That’s where I am now. 
Once again, my refrigerators (yes, two of them) are full of food that’s probably growing it’s own food by now. 
Today’s prescriptions verse is from Proverbs 31—you know, the “perfect woman” chapter of the Bible. This particular verse pretty much flattens my toes and really should be rewritten for me to say:
She does okay looking to the ways of her
household and tries not to eat
 the bread of  moldiness.
For those of you who cook every night and actually keep your fridge in good shape, you get this week off…or you can get motivated and make another change you’ve been thinking about. Leave me a comment if you do; it might be a change I need to make too! 
For those of you like me, today’s “make a change Monday” is to clean out the refrigerator—and make an attempt to keep it that way. 
And, so you don’t open the refrigerator door and stare blankly, here’s the link to my delicious stack of great articles to tell you what to do: Rescue Your Fridge…And Your Family!
Time to get busy looking to my household. 
…And my moldy bread! 
From my heart,
Celeste
Filed Under: Eating to Live, Family Focused, Make-a-change Mondays, Making Changes Tagged With: , , , , ,

Tips to a happier you in 2012~Acceptance in Christ (You are not what you eat)

24 March, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Last Monday, March 12, I posted about making a change to be healthier by eating foods that increase your body pH. I referred to several health “bandwagons” I jumped on in my search to cure myself while I was sick. It was conversations about that post that prompted me to write today’s tip to a happier you.
I was so easily convinced that each and every supplement, juice, and diet I tried was THE one to make me better. And even worse than me, those who convinced me believed their “product” was the one, true way to health. They were all well meaning; some were possibly just selling a product, but most genuinely wanted to help. 
In my desperate search to regain my health, I ended up very confused. How is it that everyone could believe such different things and all believe their way is the only way?
Fortunately, the Bible has our answer. I’m including all of the verses in Romans 14:1-23 because it helped me to read it all. I know it’s lengthy, but it’s scripture. Give me 5 minutes…
1 Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. 2 For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. 3 Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval.
5 In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. 6 Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God. 7 For we don’t live for ourselves or die for ourselves. 8 If we live, it’s to honor the Lord. And if we die, it’s to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. 9 Christ died and rose again for this very purpose—to be Lord both of the living and of the dead.
10 So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. 11 For the Scriptures say,
“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bend to me,
and every tongue will confess and give praise to God.’”
12 Yes, each of us will give a personal account to God. 13 So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.
14 I know and am convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus that no food, in and of itself, is wrong to eat. But if someone believes it is wrong, then for that person it is wrong. 15 And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died. 16 Then you will not be criticized for doing something you believe is good. 17 For the Kingdom of God is not a matter of what we eat or drink, but of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.18 If you serve Christ with this attitude, you will please God, and others will approve of you, too. 19 So then, let us aim for harmony in the church and try to build each other up.
20 Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble. 22 You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right. 23 But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.
Does it seem like Paul was “beating a dead horse” when he wrote this? He certainly believed this was an important point. From the Garden of Eden right through to today, food has been a controversial subject both on the spiritual front and the physical front. 
Paul tells us “It’s okay.” As long as you believe in your heart you are pleasing God, it’s okay.
We need to continue to learn and be discerning, but we can stop torturing ourselves. God’s got it all under control. 
My son, Trevor, is one of the worst eaters I’ve ever known. There is not one fruit or vegetable that he likes and will willingly eat. NOT ONE! Yes, as his mom this drives me crazy. There have been many battles over our table with a loaded fork suspended in front of Trevor’s mouth, threatening or bribing him to eat. It took too long for me to realize the relationship was more important than the food. 
I gave his nutrition to God. 
Have I quit trying? Of course not. I want him to learn to eat new things and be healthy. I still put new things on his plate; I just don’t engage World War III trying to make him eat. 
I’ll keep providing tips that will make a healthier and happier you. And if you disagree, that’s okay! When we disagree, we are prompted to research and learn, all in the name of Christ. 
So today’s “tip to a happier you” is to stop obsessing, stop worrying, and stop judging yourself or anyone else for choices they believe to be right in Christ. And I don’t think Paul was only referring to our food choices in these verses, but I’ll leave that for another day…
From my heart, 
Celeste





Filed Under: Eating to Live, Family Focused, Living in Faith, Tips to a Happier You, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , , ,

Make-a-change Monday~(((Hug))) your children

19 March, 2012 by Leave a Comment
Make
Miranda and Trevor (my 17 and 13 year old children) are working with Defenders for Children to help build a website for kids to go to for help if they are depressed, abused, angry, etc. 


It has opened my eyes and broken my heart.  G
The number of children in our country who are abused and neglected is staggering. 
God gave us children as a gift. They are to be cherished. 
Today’s make-a-change Monday is simple: 
(((Hug))) your children. 
Every single day. 
It’s that simple. 
From my heart, 
Celeste
Quote for thought: 
“God didn’t give us children to make us better parents;
He gave us children to make us better children.”
~Betsy Kenney
What kind of child are you today?
Filed Under: Family Focused, Make-a-change Mondays, Parenting Tips Tagged With: , , ,

Tips to a Happier You in 2012~Time to Dance

3 March, 2012 by Leave a Comment
  
I will admit that this Southern Baptist girl hasn’t done much dancing in her time. It’s not that I don’t like dancing; I’ve just never had many opportunities to dance. There was my senior prom, for which my date (now my hubby) and I learned to shag, but beyond that we have never spent too much time in ballrooms.
With the era of X-Box and PlayStation, you no longer need a fancy dress and a ballroom to dance. You can dance right in your living room with your kids, and it’s fun! The simple act of playing “Dance, Dance, Revolution” with your kids covers several of my previous “Tips to a Happier You” from this blog series. Dancing is exercise, of course, so that covers my “Get Moving” tip, and if your family’s dancing ability is like mine, there will be no need for “Laughter Aerobics!”
My kids love to dance. Miranda, in particular, loves any dance that is goofy. She is definitely not a Waltz/Tango kinda girl, but more of the Chicken Dance/Apache type. There is an old sitcom, “Friends” in which a nerdy brother and sister get to appear on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, and they decide the only way to get the camera on them is to do “the routine,” a dance they made up in the middle school. Miranda talked Trevor into learning “the routine” with her. I can’t tell you the hours they have spent laughing and recording themselves doing “the routine.” So this past Christmas, David and I decided we would learn the routine and record it to play for the kids on Christmas morning. I could not believe the fun we had trying to learn that stupid dance and recording it! Not only did we get lots of laughter out of it, but the kids got quite a laugh on Christmas morning as well! 
Dancing has been shown in studies to lower stress and depression. Not everyone likes the “sciency” reasons that dancing helps with depression, so here’s a link to my Delicious stack with articles that give you the sciency stuff if you’re interested. 
And of course, dancing is biblical. Read today’s prescription verse from Ecclesiastes. And how many times does David dance before the Lord? He was definitely a man with a heart for God. 
So this week’s tip to a happier you is to dance. Pull out the Dance Revolution cd for your X-Box and get dancing with your family. You’ll exercise and bond with your kids; you’ll not only boost your mood, but you’ll be doing the same for your whole family! I promise once everyone gets involved, y’all will have a ball! 

Just to get you motivated, Here’s “the routine” from friends: 

With a few bribes for Miranda, I talked her into letting me post her and Trevor’s version of “the routine.” I know they’re my kids, but I loved it. I hope you enjoy it because I have to do her kitchen chores for a week and give her four foot rubs after work! 

Enjoy…

If David wouldn’t divorce me, I’d show you our versions of “the routine.” The laughter alone would be enough to boost anyone’s mood! 
So dance. Be sure to laugh at yourself—it’s a necessity if you’re a Baptist like me and never really learned to dance! And by all means, dance like no one is watching…
From my heart, 

Celeste
Filed Under: Beating Depression, Brain Functions, Family Focused, How to be Happy, Just for Fun, Physical Wellness, Tips to a Happier You Tagged With: , , , , ,