Two years ago, I attended a “Women of Faith” conference, and was very intrigued by one of the speakers. Her name is Ashley Smith. A few years ago in Atlanta, she was instantly place in the spotlight as she was abducted and held hostage by Brian Nichols, a convicted killer. Her book, “Unlikely Angel: The Untold Story of the Atlanta Hostage Hero,” was an amazing account of every thought and action that took place during the seven hours she was held hostage.
I listened to her speak, and while she was very humble, her “miracle” was very fresh, and I wondered whether or not she could maintain a drug free life and uphold the promises she made to God that night.
In her book, she reveals she had tried and tried to become free of drugs, and she was reading and studying “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. While she had told God time and time again that she was done with drugs and ready to straighten her life out, she always kept a little stash “just in case.”
I think when we are in sin and are telling ourselves that we won’t do “whatever” again, and we still have that something on the back burner available if we need it, we are separating ourselves from God. I think of it as an invisible shield between God and me. In our head, we think we are doing the right thing. We talk ourselves into it…we justify. But at the same time, we know in our heart and in the back of our mind that we are keeping that sin on standby.
Other than our prescription verse above, scripture also tells us when we justify our sin, we don’t have truth, which is the light in Jesus Christ.
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. 1 John 1:8 ESV
Ok, back to Ashley Smith. I picked up her book to read (after having it for two years) and after finishing it, decided to Google her to see how she’s doing now. I was so happy to see that she is doing great. I’ve included a video here (part 1 and 2) of a show she was interviewed on not too long ago. I hope you will enjoy it.
For me, my sin was addiction. Yes, I had an issue with Lortab, and that was awful, but that is not the big picture. As the title of my story reflects, I was addicted to the chase…the chase to cure my migraine headaches; the chase to cure my seizures; the chase to be happy; the chase to grab my mask so no one would know how miserable I was; the chase to constantly isolate myself from family and friends because I felt such guilt when I was around them. Instead of focusing on God and what he could do, I focused on myself. On my misery; my search for a cure; my guilt. During that time, I missed an opportunity to let Christ minister to me. Thank goodness he rescued me from myself!
When I finished reading “Unlikely Angel,” and I thought about how I’d held on to my sin, I realized something important. When you make a promise to God that you will no longer give a home to your sin, and you truly have made the decision to put it behind you, the best way to stay on course is to use your experience to help others. I know blogging and writing is not the right avenue for everyone, but when we begin to help other people in similar situations, God gives us strength. When we can share with another person the covenant we’ve made with God, we will hold ourselves more accountable to it. When we can really be transparent, and realize that we are not perfect and neither is anyone else, we will find great freedom. It’s amazing to find out how common your struggle is…whatever it is.
If you have read my story and my blogs, you know how truly happy I am. I’ve always had a heart for people, but for the seven years of my illness and “chase,” I lost my focus. I couldn’t see others very well, only myself. Now that my vision has been corrected, there is nothing more rewarding that sharing the amazing love that God has for us…and actually feeling it first hand.
From my heart,
Celeste
