Letting it Go~ The Power of Forgiveness

26 September, 2014 by 2 Comments

I promise I haven’t abandoned you. I’ve just come to the realization that writing regularly on a blog and writing a book while having a job and the responsibility of a family is just about impossible for me. But in teaching the 10th grade girls  small group at church, we are doing a series called “Letting it Go” about the importance of forgiveness. So I’m sharing the information with you that we are studying on Sunday nights. This is a great resource geared specifically for parents… for teaching your children about forgiveness, and possibly learning a bit yourself.

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning

“I just can’t let it go.” “They don’t deserve to be forgiven.” “It hurts too much to move on.” Maybe you’ve heard your children say something like this in the midst of pain, frustration and anger towards someone who has hurt them—or maybe you’ve said or thought something similar yourself. Choosing to forgive someone who has hurt us is never easy. So why does it matter so much that we do it? How do we know when we should do it? And how do we know we have actually healed from the pain an offense has caused? How do we simply let it go?

2. Be a Student of Your Student

I can think of multiple times in my life when I’ve been in an emotional stand off with someone over something they did or said—or maybe something they didn’t say or didn’t do. Taking the first steps towards getting back on good terms is simple enough—in theory. But saying the words “I’m sorry” often feels like it costs too much. So, too often we choose silence in the hopes that time will fix it, instead of intentional reconciliation.

Unfortunately, not apologizing can be costly—maybe even especially to the relationship with our teenagers. Maybe sometimes you don’t want to apologize because you know that they are the one who did something wrong. Maybe in reaction to something your son did, you lashed out and said something that was a little harsh—but you excused it because his behavior was completely unacceptable. Or maybe you found yourself sneaking through bedroom drawers just to squelch some rising suspicions and it really broke your daughter’s trust—but you were justified in what you did, so an apology seems unnecessary. You didn’t do anything outside of your parental rights, per se, but your son or daughter feels hurt, betrayed or angry.

Saying I’m sorry can be so hard. Admitting you’re wrong, or that you even had a small part in an argument or bad situation, can physically hurt sometimes. It doesn’t sit well. On the other hand, when someone has apologized to you, or you have made the first step towards reconciliation, something distinct and compelling happens. There is a sense of relief, of vulnerability and calm. All from simply saying—or hearing—“I’m sorry.”

What is it about an apology that can be so powerful—both for the receiver of the apology and the one actually apologizing?

To understand this a bit more, we want to share some excerpts from an article entitled “The Power of Apology: How to give and receive an apology. And it’s worth it, on both ends” by Beverly Engel featured in Psychology Today in June 2013, and taken from the book The Power of Apology by Beverly Engel: (To read the full article, go to http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200208/the-power-apology.)

As you read, try to focus on the bolded words—on what giving an apology does—and try to imagine these action words taking place in the context of your relationship with your son or daughter:

“Apology has the ability to disarm others of their anger and to prevent further misunderstandings. While an apology cannot undo harmful past actions, if done sincerely and effectively, it can undo the negative effects of those actions … Apologizing helps us remain emotionally connected to our friends and loved ones….

So, the next time you find yourself in a stand off with your spouse, a co-worker a friend or even your son or daughter, remember that more is on the line than just your pride and sense of justice. The future relationship, the ability to stay connected to and vulnerable with that person is on the line too. The words “I’m sorry” may be hard to say, but they are always worth the effort!

3. Action Point

The action point for this series is pretty straightforward: Apologize to your child.

But sometimes this is easier said than done. So what are some characteristics of a meaningful apology?

First of all, admit that you are truly sorry for the hurt or damage you caused. It’s easy with our students to unintentionally do or say something that they take personally. And even though we don’t always mean things the way they hear or experience them, the hurt that can be caused is still real to them. So, while you may not have meant to be hurtful, recognizing that someone else was hurt by your actions is incredibly important.

Secondly, a sincere and powerful apology includes an acceptance of responsibility. This may seem like the same thing as admitting you are sorry for the hurt you caused. But it actually takes this idea of admittance one step further. When you accept responsibility, you are not making excuses for what you did, which often has the effect of negating the apology. It’s like when your child says, “I’m really sorry that I dented the car, but the other driver was way too close to me and I couldn’t see them well out of my side mirror.” Too many excuses cloud a good apology with a message of “It really wasn’t my fault.” For an apology to be meaningful and sincere, you have to communicate that you take full responsibility for your actions.

And lastly, there should always be something in your apology that shows you have a desire to remedy the situation. You obviously can’t go back and undo what was done—or not done—but you can offer a plan to make sure it doesn’t happen again. So, if you’ve missed your son’s basketball game … again … and he is really hurt and angry, make a plan and offer a promise to get to one of his upcoming games. And then do it! An empty promise will only make the hurt deeper, so don’t promise what you can’t deliver. But be sure to offer some sort of a plan of action so that your son or daughter knows that you will work towards not repeating the action that hurt them in the first place.

Take some time to think through what a meaningful apology might look like for your son or daughter. And then, go say the words that make all the difference in the world—I’m sorry.

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Happy Birthday My Trevor~My very first letter to you…

30 December, 2012 by 2 Comments

that'smyboy copy

Today we are celebrating Trevor’s 14th birthday. When each of my children were born, I carefully and meticulously chose their baby book and wrote them each their own lullaby. I kept a journal for each one, recording funny, sweet, and sad stories about each one. All of my children love to hear stories from when David and I were little, but there are so many we can’t remember. Hopefully, by journaling (and now blogging), my grandchildren (that sounds really weird to say) will know all of the great stories that shaped the generation before them.

I will enjoy sharing some of those stories here on my blog—as a legacy for my children, and hopefully as reminders and tips for better parenting skills. Sometimes it’s hard to remember what works and what doesn’t! Plus, every child is different. Parenting is a tough business and requires much wisdom and prayer. To quote my friend Betsy again:

In honor of Trevor’s birthday, I thought I’d share this letter I wrote in his baby book. Now when Miranda was born (I’ll share her letter with you on her birthday in April), I wrote her letter within the first few weeks. Obviously, the more children you have, the longer it takes to get things done. So I didn’t write Trevor’s first letter until he was almost a year old! But just so you know, all three of my children have COMPLETE baby books for their first five years…patting myself on the back at this very moment 😉

Without a doubt, I fall short of being the parent I should. Thankfully, God’s grace intervenes where I fail. So far, David and I have raised three pretty great kids. Not without flaws, of course, but great nonetheless. As I share some of their stories with you, I pray that you can filter the good from the bad and let God use my experiences in parenting to make yours better.

Here’s that very first letter to Trevor. I was 29 when I wrote this, and it was all I could do not to “edit” as I typed it here. I’ve learned so much about parenting and writing since I wrote this letter fourteen years ago, but here it is…exactly as originally written. With much love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Trevor,

You are turning a year old this week, and I can’t believe I’m just now writing you this letter! It’a a lot harder to get things done with two children than with just one, but at least your baby book is up to date. I think that’s a pretty big accomplishment!

You are such a good baby. This first year with you has been wonderful. I fell in love with you the minute I saw you and my love for you grows deeper each day. You have been born into such a wonderful family. You are so blessed! Much more than you can possibly know yet, and God has blessed us with you! You have a wonderful daddy that loves you so much. He plays with you every opportunity he gets.

And Miranda loves you so much! She calls herself “sissy’ to you, though we don’t know what you will call her yet. She has never been jealous of you like most older siblings are. To her, you are as much her baby as you are mine and daddy’s. She hasn’t kept her hands off of you this whole first year. When you first came home from the hospital, she was lying in the floor with you and she looked up at me and said, “I love this baby!” You tolerate her amazingly well—you just grunt a little when she squeezes you too tight.

When you were in my tummy I was explaining to Miranda how you would be born and that you would have a little blood on you when you first came out. That was all she had to hear. She would say, “I want to see him as soon as he comes out—with the blood on him!” It just so happened that Grandma Elizabeth could hear enough outside the delivery room door to let Miranda peek her head in right after you came out. Dr. Coleman held you down for her to see you. You and Miranda have had a special bond from that moment on!

You also have a mommy that loves you more than any other little boy in the whole world! I was so excited when I found I’d be having a son! They say little girls are daddy’s girls and little boys are mommy’s boys. I sure do hope I have a mommy’s boy! So far so good—your first word was “mama.” You made me so happy when you started saying mama!

I hope you like your name. Daddy and I worked hard to pick just the right one. We went through book after book of names. Everyone thought we should name you “Martin” since that’s my maiden name. As neat as that would be, I was afraid you might get some unpleasant nicknames that rhyme with Martin. You can probably guess what that might be. We thought about quite a few names and finally came up with “Trevor” about a week before you were born. We only know one other little boy named “Trevor.” We didn’t want you to have a common name, but we didn’t want you to have a weird name either. So I think we came up with a great name in ‘Trevor.” We think it suits you to a “T.” Of course your middle name, David, is after Daddy. That was non-negotiable from the  minute we found out you were a boy. This made your initials, “TD” for touchdown, and it’s funny because the whole time I was pregnant all I wanted to watch on TV was “Coach.” We even watched it in the delivery room. I had also made tapes that were nothing but “Coach.” Does this mean you’ll be a football payer? Who knows? I’m not sure I’d like the danger involved. I want whatever is in God’s plans for you. He know the plans he has for you and I pray that you will always walk in this path.

I love you so much it’s impossible to put down on paper. You’ll only understand when you have a child of your own. Sometimes in the middle of the night when I’m up with you and it’s just us, I just want to hold you and never let you go–no matter how frustrated I am about you not sleeping through the night. But you’re growing up every day…way to fast and I can’t slow it down! So I can just pray every day that Godly people will always be placed in your path and you will live a long, happy life.

Just always remember: Your mommy loves you so much and I will always love you…no matter what!

I love you!

Mommy

 

Filed Under: Parenting Tips, Trevor Tagged With: , , , , ,

A Little Beachy Goodness

29 July, 2012 by Leave a Comment


Our marriage verse. 
Our life verse. 

Has it always been easy? 
No. 

Have we served none the less? 
Yes. 

When I ponder our lives and see where we are now, 
the choice was always clear. 

We will serve the Lord. 

And he has rewarded us abundantly. 



Enjoy a little beachy goodness from our vacation 😉
The fancy…

and the fun…
Hope you enjoyed the…

From my heart,

Celeste

Filed Under: Just for Fun, Life Through the Lens, Marriage Menders, Parenting Tips Tagged With: , ,

Tip to a Happier You in 2012~I’ve been kidnapped!

15 July, 2012 by Leave a Comment


Well, here it is Saturday evening, and I haven’t posted my {tip to a happier you} for today yet. But I have a good excuse:


I’ve been kidnapped and taken to Tree Hill, North Carolina! 

I’ve been shot in the chest, almost drowned, gotten arrested for beating up an abusive father, given birth early to twins that I wasn’t supposed to be able to get pregnant with only to have my husband forget and leave one of them in the car, been admitted to a mental health facility for blackout episodes because I forgot I had a son six years ago, and almost had a breakdown when my husband disappeared for a week and we didn’t know if he was dead or alive. Luckily, everything ended happily.
Miranda, my 18-year-old, had her wisdom teeth taken out this week. So I have played the roll of caregiver—which for Miranda means making her jello and spaghetti, escorting her plethora of friends in and out to see her, and sitting beside her to keep her company while watching the show of her choice—One Tree Hill.  

Miranda is one of those girls that loves for her friends to spend the night. I have always loved it that she wants them to come here, so we frequently allow them to.

This week, however, held one obstacle: our air conditioner upstairs is broken and must be replaced, so everyone is sleeping downstairs. Did this deter her friends from wanting to spend the night? Nope. So downstairs this week, I’ve had all three sofas made into beds, an extra twin mattress beside one of them, and a double air mattress beside another. Between kids coming and going, fixing meals for Miranda, for my family, and for any extras that may be here, and being kidnapped into the world of One Tree Hill I’m exhausted! I don’t think I’ve loaded and emptied the dishwasher this many times in years—all in the midst of giving birth early to the twins and escaping from the drug dealer kidnapper of course.


When I was depressed, I often found myself watching television and getting wrapped up in others lives so I didn’t have to think about my own. But I would DVR them and only get to watch them when they aired on television. Now we have Netflix. You can sit and literally watch 84 episodes back to back—pausing for potty breaks of course. I suppose it’s a good thing we didn’t have Netflix when I was going through depression. Sitting absorbed in someone else’s life for hours at a time would have been just fine with me, but I think my family would have thrown me to the curb. 


After the hours of One Tree Hill this week, I prefer my life any day of the week, thank you very much. But only because God has blessed me with the ability to be happy again, and in the process, has taught me much about what’s important in life. 

So where’s the tip this week? I’ll let you figure it out. This week has left me with a disaster of a house, too much washing to be done, and sleep deprived from the One Tree Hill marathon. I sat down to write a few times only to hear, “MOM! Can you__________?” But I got to spend the week beside my soon-to-be-grown-up-and-gone Miranda. We made a memory.

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Even if it is watch a One Tree Hill marathon 😉
From my heart, 
Celeste
Filed Under: How to be Happy, Parenting Tips, Simplify Your Life, Tips to a Happier You Tagged With: , , ,

Smart Parenting: Don’t wait til it’s too late!

8 November, 2011 by Leave a Comment
Parenting. Whew! It’s a hard job these days! As if it’s not hard enough worrying about helping them with the basics like homework, friends, and dating, now we have to worry about the drugs that are rampant in our society today. Many people don’t realize how dangerous drugs are. These drugs are deadly–Crack, cocaine, Oxycontin, heroin, and now bath salts! Some of these drugs are addictive the very first time they are used, and then it may be too late. The very best method is prevention. But what if that doesn’t work? 
Will you know the signs? 
Will you admit that your child may be using drugs you or will you be in denial, hoping it will go away? 
Will you confront them?
Will you be too embarrassed to get them the help they need? 
Will you become an enabler because you’re afraid they will come to hate you?
Satan uses drugs to get a stronghold on our youth of today. Anita Estes has a new book available, Letters to God on a Prodigal Son:Overcoming Addiction Through Prayer in which she shares the story of her son’s drug addiction, the signs that she recognized, and her prayers to help him overcome it. 
If you have a child, whether you suspect drug use or not, you need to read this book. I know too many parents who realize what’s going on too late. Just as we try to arm our children for the world we live in, we need to arm ourselves with the tools we need to parent them. This book is an essential tool. If you purchase it on November 8th, you can even get some free gifts! Here’s the link…
Be armed and ready! 
From my heart,

Celeste
Filed Under: Overcoming Addiction, Parenting Tips Tagged With: , , ,

Overcome the fear of dying

11 September, 2011 by 1 Comment
Let me start today’s post by saying that we all need to remember the families of those who lost loved ones on September 11, 2001. I lost my dad to lung cancer on October 25th of that same year. It’s hard to believe 10 years has past. I can’t imagine having lost someone in such a terrible, nonsensical tragedy. Watching my dad die of lung cancer was certainly not easy. Death is tough. Death is horrible. If we had the knowledge of how we were going to die, I don’t believe we could function with any sense of normalcy. The thing is, though, we all will die. Every single one of us.
Just after the twin towers were hit on that dreadful day, several of my friends called or showed up in tears, totally unsure of everything. What happens when we die? Why does God let such things happen? 
Why are we even here? How can we live like this? 
Do you know people who live in fear? I have to say that I’m preaching to myself here. Do you know that I won’t fly on the same airplane as my husband if we are traveling without the kids? I’m afraid of leaving our kids parentless if our plane were to crash, so we fly separately and meet at our destination. Now is that irrational or what? I’m not afraid to die myself, just of leaving my kids without parents!
When my dad died, it was the saddest experience of my life. I knew, however, that my dad would be spending his eternity in Heaven. While he was in the hospital, before we ever knew his prognosis, he said, “Whether I live one day, six months, or ten years, I have no regrets and I’m ready to go.”
And I knew that about my dad. It comforted me.  I’m thankful he said those words, but I knew that’s how he felt without even if he never said it. 
The other thing that strangely comforted me was knowing that my dad was not singled out to die. No one targeted him as a human being different from others who would have to experience death. It was his time, but death comes for everyone’s dad, everyone’s mom, everyone’s sister, daughter, son, friend…you get the picture.
I don’t mean to be morbid, just factual. We all are going to die someday, somehow. So how do we handle it?
We must have an eternal perspective.
I like the way my hubby thinks about life and eternity…
He draws a timeline:
                
Beginning—-[-]—>———->———->———->———->Eternity
                        ^^
                      life
We have a long timeline from the beginning of time to eternity, and eternity never ends. Our life is but one little “blip” in that long timeline. It’s not the short experience of life and death that we should fear, but how we spend eternity. How we live this short little “blip” will determine how we spend eternity…in heaven or in hell. As long as we have Christ as our savior, we have absolutely nothing to fear. In fact, in death we have nothing to lose; we can only gain. In Philippians 1:21, Paul tells us, For to me, living is Christ and dying is gain. Here’s what C.S. Lewis says on that verse:
“What a state we have got into when we can’t say ‘I’ll be happy when God calls me’ without being afraid one will be thought ‘morbid.’ After all, St. Paul said just the same. If we really believe what we say we believe–if we really think that home is elsewhere and that this life is a ‘wandering to find home,’ why should we not look forward to the arrival? There are, aren’t there, only three things we can do about death: to desire it, to fear it, or to ignore it. The third alternative, which is the one modern world calls ‘healthy’ is surely the most uneasy and precarious of all.”
I am afraid of leaving my kids without parents, and if feasible, I will probably continue to fly separate from my husband because it give me some peace of mind. But that is the human in me, and I know it’s not rational. When God decides to take me home, it won’t matter what I’m doing. He is in control. The only thing I can do to calm my fears is to teach my children to also think with an eternal perspective. I must teach them that God is in control, he has a plan, and we must only accept and trust him. 
We need to stop thinking that this life is all we have, and we must teach that to our children as well. We need to stop being afraid of death. If we have Christ in our heart, we have nothing to fear. There is no one, absolutely no one, that can take eternity away from us. Satan will try, I promise, but he has no defenses against Christ. I have to quote my favorite verse here again: In this world you will have trouble, but take heart [fear not], for I have overcome the world (John 16:33). We just need to make sure that whenever, wherever, however it happens, we are ready. Ready to spend an incredible eternity in a place more wonderful than anywhere we could ever even imagine! 
From my heart, 


Celeste
Filed Under: Fighting Your Fears, Have an Eternal Perspective, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , ,

Living IN the world, not OF it

22 August, 2011 by 1 Comment


Okay my friends, with 17, 12, and 8-year-old children, we seem to be in all stages of “development” these days! Lots of interesting discussions in our house lately. 

The subject of “the birds and the bees” is never an easy one to discuss with your children, but it is necessary that we do. I promise they are getting the information somewhere, so if you want to be the one to teach them, you’d better be aware of the information they are getting. As you well know, kids today are hearing all kinds of things at younger and younger ages. 

I have found myself recently in discussions with other moms on the B&B’s. I am so proud of the young woman that my 17 year old, Miranda, is turning out to be. By the grace of God, she has turned out well! I always call her our guinea pig since she was the first child subjected to our parenting skills! David and I have applied a few rules in our journey as parents I want to share.  
      
Answer questions as they come up, without giving more information than asked. Do not dismiss their questions as if they are silly.
        
Always answer questions about our bodies with emphasis on the fact that God created every little part of our bodies for a purpose and in His image. 

When the sex subject comes up, don’t freak out and assume that your child is doing something wrong, and don’t be so embarrassed you can’t talk about sex with them. 

Just as the case with many of God’s creations, the world has distorted and cheapened something that God created to be an intimate, one-of-a-kind bond between a husband and wife. Always keep this in mind when dealing with anything in this world that has been changed by the sinful world we live in. 

Instill self-confidence in your child. Help them realize and understand that God created them and they are “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:13-16). With girls especially, love from and self-confidence instilled by their father will have a huge impact on their choices of boyfriends and a husband. If they don’t feel this fatherly love, they may seek love and acceptance in boyfriends. I know that Miranda is the teenager she is today because her daddy has put her on a pedestal her entire life, and she will accept no less from anyone she dates or marries. Her values are strongly in place, and there is no one who could persuade her to do anything she did not want to do.

When you talk to your child about sex, try not to make a big deal about it. In other words, don’t break out “The Encyclopedia of Sex” (all four volumes) and try to explain it all at once! (Can you guess how I learned about those birds and bees? =o/ It was one loooong night!) 

Last, we work very hard not to shelter our children from the ways of the world. You must understand, however, that there is a difference between the KNOWLEDGE of this world and being INVOLVED in the ways of this world. Every family is different, and as parents, we are often products of the environment in which we were raised. Ahusband and wife bring to the parenting table a mixture of the ways they were raised. In our family, we do not worry about our children seeing us undressed (like getting into the bath or shower). As a matterof fact, during the years that I was having seizures, Trevor would not let me take a bath without someone in the bathroom with me (fearing I would drown if I had a seizure), and he was often the one with that job. (Don’t use your imagination here…it would not be a pretty sight! =o/) They know the differences between the anatomy of men and women, so their curiosity does not land them in a search for answers in the wrong places. We do not want to create a “forbidden fruit.” And again, I want to emphasize that we answer questions as theycome up. Often children will not ask a question until they are ready tohear the answer.

Nowhere in the Bible does God condone pre-marital sex. He specifically forbids it. In the world of our teenagers, and adults too for that matter, it is difficult to recognize the difference between Christians and non-Christians. That’s not acceptable. God calls us to be a peculiar people, and that’s what we need to be. In the world, not of the world.  
     
Keep in mind that I am only a parent to my three children, and every child is different. I am certainly no expert on raising children; I just want to share what has worked (so far) with me. Sometimes, well most of the time, children do not believe parents really know anything. They may have to learn lessons the hard way, and the best you can do for them is pray. 

So dig in your heels and brace yourself. If it hasn’t already been, it will be a subject in your home eventually. Don’t be blindsided by it–be prepared! 

I will be praying for you and your children. After all, my children will be choosing their spouses someday, and I want great young men and women for them to choose from! 




From my heart, 


Celeste 

Filed Under: Living in Faith, Living with Purpose, Parenting Tips, Your Relationship with God Tagged With: , , , , ,

How to Explain Sex to Your Children (1+1=1)

2 August, 2011 by Leave a Comment





I chatted with someone today that prompted me to repost this blog from my old site…I realize it’s a little off my current topic, but nevertheless…


Parenting is a tricky business, and our society doesn’t make it any easier. A few months ago, driving down the road, the innocent voice of my Marlee-girl springs from nowhere, “What is sex?”


Now, I knew it was an inevitable question because I have a 17 year old as well. No matter how hard we try to postpone the dreaded conversation, kids hear the word “sex” all the time.


Television.
Movies.
Friends. 
Siblings. 
And yes, Church! 


Due to the casual manor in which teens regard sex, pastors are commonly preaching what God teaches us about sex in the Bible. Our pastor at Brookwood, Perry Duggar, recently commented about this in a sermon. The reason we so often hear, “everybody’s doing it, “is NOT a reason to dismiss the dangers of premarital sex. The complacent attitude of our society makes it increasingly more difficult to distinguish christians from non-christians regarding sexual promiscuity. This is unacceptable. 


God specifically tells us as christians, we should be set apart from worldly things. We are to be IN the world, but not OF the world (Deuteronomy 7:6, 2 Corinthians 6:17). He calls us to be a peculiar people (I love that word, “peculiar”). 


Okay, back to the question…”What is sex?”


Giving myself time to think, I used the old answer-a-question-with-a-question trick…”What do you think sex is?” This way, I avoided telling her something she didn’t know yet, and might not be ready for. 


She replied, “When two married people lay in bed together naked.” Then, as an afterthought said, “I don’t think I will ever want to do that.”


First, I reassured her that she should not want to do that…yet. God created us to journey through different seasons of life, and how we feel about things will change. 


Second, I gave her an analogy to help her understand why God created sex in the first place. This may sound strange at first, but if you can take the “dirty” out of sex, and think of how God originally intended it, hopefully it will make sense. 


“You know how God created mommies to have babies grow inside their tummy and then feed them from their breast right after birth?”


“Yeah?”


“This time at the beginning of a child’s life is a very important bonding time between a baby and it’s mommy. The baby has been inside his mommy’s tummy for 9 months, and now as he starts life, he has the security of his mommy created partly by the skin to skin contact he has while nursing.”


“Okay?”


“When a man and a woman get married, God tells us that they are to become one flesh. They leave their mom and dad and leave their childhood behind (Ephesians 5:21). They are supposed to remain connected in that special way throughout their lives. They are bonded together in the promise of marriage, and that bond should never be broken.” 


[Marlee leaning forward in the back seat with ears perked up and eyes wide open!]


“So when two people get married and plan to spend the rest of their lives together, they should give themselves completely to each other. No secrets, no shame, no one else, two together, forever.” 


“Just as a baby’s life begins bonded to his mother, a man and woman leave their mother and father, and through this special bond called “sex,” begin a new life as husband and wife.”


Marlee seemed to understand and accept that answer, and I put off telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth a little while longer. 


As I instill these truths from God to all of my children, I pray that they will learn the value and importance of sex inside marriage, and the special bond created through commitment of a husband and wife for life. I pray that my children and yours choose the path God has laid out for them. Mistakes will be made, and I praise God for the merciful and forgiving God he is. He can redeem those mistakes, but mistakes often have consequences. We don’t want our children to have to learn lessons the hard way, do we? Whenever I can teach them to avoid learning lessons the hard way, I do. The bond that a husband and wife share is theirs, and theirs alone. It is an intimate connection that should hold them together, forever. 


From my heart, 
Celeste


p.s. Well, I just posted this today from an old blog, and just tonight, a few hours after my post, Marlee says, “Mommy, how does sex make you have a baby?” So I guess I didn’t postpone the talk too long! It was late, though, when she asked, so I told her it’s not a quick answer, and takes a little time to explain, so she said we’d talk about it tomorrow…hmmm.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With:

Just to make you smile

29 July, 2011 by 2 Comments

Taking a small prescription break today…maybe I’ll start Funny Fridays? Gotta lighten things up every once in awhile! 


Here’s your Funny Friday story for today…


All of my kids love for me and David to tell them funny things that happened while we were growing up. They LOVE to hear the funny–and stupid–things we did. Oh how I wish I remembered them all! 


So my kids will have stories to tell their kids, I keep a journal for each of them full of stories of the funny things they do or say.


Last week I was sitting on the front porch of my mother-in-law’s house with her and Marlee and was reminded…


When Miranda (my oldest) was three, she absolutely loved to play with dinosaurs. She could literally sit for an hour or two in her own little world engaging in riveting conversation with her dinosaurs! Well, fourteen years ago, Miranda and I were sitting on that same front porch watching a storm roll in; thunder and lightning roaring and crackling in the distance. 


“Mommy, what happens if you get struck by lightning?”


“Well, it would definitely hurt you if it doesn’t kill you.”


“Would it be a painful way to die?”


“I’m not sure. I think it would happen so fast you might not realize it.”


After letting these morbid thoughts sink into her oh-so-innocent three year old brain, she continued, “How do you think we’ll die?”


“I don’t know. If I had to choose, I would hope that we would not die, but all go together in the rapture.” 


No pause from Miranda, she just looked up at me with her big blue eyes open wide and said…


“The veloci-rapture?”


From my heart, 
Celeste

Filed Under: Just for Fun, Miranda, Parenting Tips Tagged With: , , , , ,