The Secret to a fulfilled life with purpose



I had an article published at “Inspire A Fire” this week on the addiction part of my story. If you’ve read my story page on here you know my story is full of gut wrenching moments, but the addiction part seems to gain much attention; maybe because I’m a pharmacist, maybe because I’m a Christian, or maybe just because it’s the juiciest part of the story. It makes no difference to me, as long as someone is brought closer to Christ through it. 
One of the most important statements I wrote in that article is one that has received several comments: 
Only when my desire to know His plan for my life became greater than my desire to fix myself, He healed me.”
That statement is what I want to focus on today. 
I whole-heartedly believe that this is the secret to a fulfilled life with purpose that has been kept far too secret. I mean, you wouldn’t think it’s a secret because the scripture tells us right there in Matthew 6: 
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness,
 and all these things will be added to you.
Now I was raised in the church, memorizing scripture along the way, but I’m not sure this verse ever really sunk in. I’d read this verse, but for some reason the verse that I heard in my head was Luke 11:9-10: 
And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.
Ask and it will be given to you.
Who can’t get on board with that? Just ask. 
But both of these scriptures, Matthew 6 and Luke 11, are instructing us in how to pray. In Luke 11, we are told to be persistent in our prayers. Ask, ask, ask. But we are also told to seek. Seek what? 
Back to Matthew’s instruction on prayer: Seek ye first the kingdom of God
Maybe this is why we have four Gospels—four accounts of the life of Jesus on earth. God gave them to us to read them all, not just one. But I digress…
When I was fighting seizures, migraines, depression, insomnia, and addiction during my seven years of hell, you better believe I asked. I asked for God to take the seizures, migraines, depression, insomnia and addiction away. I asked to be happy again. When He was silent, I asked for the rapture. I either wanted to be healed, or be gone. I asked and asked and asked. 
But I did not seek first. 
I know God has a plan. I’ve always known he has a big, all-encompassing, life-long plan. But I never once asked him to show me what it was. I never really had the desire to know my part in His plan
When I had my last seizure, on August 4, 2010, I was at rock bottom. Any resilience I might have had was gone. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t have the energy to even get dressed. I loved my family, but I had resigned to the fact that I was no good for them. Marlee, my 8-year-old, was baptized on August 8, 2010, and it took every bit of strength I had to make it to her baptism. I envisioned spending the rest of my life in some type of extended care facility. It was really that bad. 
I knew this wasn’t God’s plan for my life. 
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
(Jeremiah 29:11 NIV) 
For the first time ever, it was my heart’s desire to know his plan and purpose for me. It was beyond my thoughts, down deep to the core. What my brain thought was overridden by my deepest desires.What I wanted didn’t really matter any more. I didn’t care enough about my life for Him to fix me. I had gotten to the end of myself, and the beginning of Him. 
On September 25, 2010, just over seven weeks after that last seizure, He healed me. Just like that. I woke up that Saturday morning and I was an entirely new person. My mind was clear, I had energy, I felt happy, I wanted to eat, I hugged my kids and called my husband (he was out of town), I called my family and friends, and I knew without a doubt that God had given me a miracle. 
Within three months, I was completely off all medications. It has now been almost eighteen months since I’ve been medication free, and I can honestly say I’ve had no cravings for any narcotics (which I never thought I’d be able to say), I’ve had no seizures or symptoms of seizures, I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and I sleep like a baby. 
I never want to forget how bad I was, because I never want to forget the incredible strength and mercy of my Savior.
He saved me that day.
He saved me because I was finally ready.
I was finally seeking Him first, above everything. 
From my heart,
Celeste

 

Small Beginnings & New Habits

In this small, obscure book tucked neatly at the end of the Old Testament, the prophet Zechariah has been sent an angel from God to help him understand the visions he’s been having. Zerubbabel is the governor of Judah and in charge of the daunting task of rebuilding the temple. The vision given to Zechariah was a message to Zerubbabel to encourage him. Through Zechariah’s vision, God is telling Zerubbabel the task will seem huge, and he may think the task is too big for him, but not to doubt. Even though the beginning is small, God rejoices in his effort to begin this good work, and wants him to keep his vision on the grandeur of the end result.


We live in a society of immediate gratification. We want it and we want it now.

We exercise and diet for a week and wonder why we still can’t fit into that cute bathing suit we
bought as a motivation to lose weight.

We want to build our dream house and don’t know why we have to actually have the money first.

We have started a business and don’t know why we haven’t made our first million in the first year.

We start writing a book and don’t know why publishers aren’t knocking down our doors to publish it.

Anything worth accomplishing requires a little due diligence. We must begin creating new habits. Boy have I had to realize that one lately! During the seven years I was dealing with depression, seizures, and too many medications, my body and my brain were on lock down. I did not have the desire to do anything that required energy, whether it was physical or mental exercise. I was “mush” for 7 years.

Once God healed me (physically and mentally) and I was free of all medication, I expected to just jump back into life full force. Joy was once again my friend and I was ready to enjoy all pre-seizure and pre-depression activities.

God was not finished with his lessons yet!

I began writing (which was a new hobby for me), photography, exercising, driving the kids all over the place, cooking, cleaning, etc…and I would get so frustrated because I couldn’t keep up with it all. When I was trying to lose weight after pregnancies, my husband would always tell me it took 9 months to gain it, give myself at least that long to lose it. So now I have been “mush” for seven years. Does that mean it will take seven years to get back up to speed? Not if I can help it! But I do need to work diligently to accomplish my goals.

When I decided to write a book, I called an old friend who was now a writer to ask her advice. She immediately got me plugged in to a local christian writer’s group. I went in to the first meeting all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, only to walk away with the old deer-in-the-headlights look. I was overwhelmed. They were using terms like pitch, one sheet, tag lines, deep POV, query letter, blogging…I had no earthly idea what they were talking about!

My instinct was to forget the writing group and just go home and write, write, write. If God was calling me to do this, then he would make it successful, right? Well, obviously he can perform miracles, he’d already shown me that. But thankfully, my reclaimed friend and now mentor, Vonda, gave me some very good advice. She gave me a few writing blogs to follow, and she told me to just attend the first few meetings as an observer (not bringing anything in to be critiqued just yet).

Fighting my know-it-all instinct, I followed her advice. After a few meetings and some reading at home, I began to understand this foreign language I’d been hearing. I became even more inspired to write, and to give God glory by learning to do write effectively so I can do the best job possible to further his kingdom.

I still have much to learn, and this will be an education to last a lifetime. But when I went to a writer’s conference in May, I received confirmation over and over again that I was doing exactly what I needed to be doing. Two publishers took my work with them, and two agents requested book proposals.

As a pharmacist, writing is a whole new world for me, and is not one I would ever have considered on my own. God definitely led me there. I am sure Zerubbabel was intimidated by the task of building the temple, just as I am intimidated by the task of writing a book. But because I am being obedient to God in this task, I know that he is rejoicing and blessing my writing every small step of the way. I’m incorporating new habits  am looking forward to the grandeur of the end result, whatever and whenever that may be.

 

From my heart,
Celeste