Spiritual intimacy includes submitting to Jesus Christ and sacrificing for our spouses.
I think one of the key words here is “spiritual.” True intimacy cannot exist without a spiritual component. God created man and wife…marriage, the closest tangible example of a Christian’s relationship with Christ.
Marriages have such a hard time these days. We are bombarded by the media with Hollywood’s definition if intimacy…sex. Sex is most definitely necessary for intimacy in a marriage, but certainly does not stand alone as a formula for intimacy. The way Jesus treats the church is the best example of how we should treat our spouse.
Essentials for spiritual intimacy:
1) Similar convictions ~First things first: We’ve all heard that as couples, we should not be “unequally yoked.” That has taken on so many meanings, but it all boils down to being matched with someone with similar beliefs.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NIV)
Taking the step from love into marriage is a step of faith. It’s hard to keep a marriage happy and growing. So many people marry unbelievers thinking they will be the one to change them…to save them. But once inside marriage, difference in beliefs will not diminish over time, they will be magnified.
Okay, if you’re thinking, “Oh crap, it’s too late,” don’t worry and don’t try to hit your spouse over the head with a bible or put it under his pillow hoping osmosis will do the trick. God tells us the best way to handle an unbelieving spouse.
…Fit in with your [spouses] plans; for then if they refuse to listen when you talk to them about the Lord, they will be won by your respectful, pure behavior. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. 1 Peter 3:1-2 (TLB)
2) Spiritual Leadership~ Ephesians 5:21-25 is the well know scripture about “submission.” I’ll let you look that one up for yourself, but basically, the husband should be the spiritual leader in the home by loving and cherishing his wife…going “all out,” for her. Just as Christ did for the church. And in turn, the wife should support her husband in ways that show love for him and for Christ. How could you not resist the leadership of a man who would be willing to die for you? Or even more, give up his every Saturday golf or football game?
…Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She…is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)
As spouses, we are equal partners in life. A team. Husbands will not always be the one that’s best to lead everything, but as a good leader, he will realize that and let his wife take the lead when that’s best. God made us to complement each other. Where the wife is weak, the husband is strong, and vice versa. This parallels with our relationship with Christ.
For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10
We are marriage partners. Not to be too cliché, we complete each other.
3) Surrender Self~ A Christ centered marriage is willingness of both spouses willing to die to self-centered desires. Closeness comes at the loss of yourself. “But I shouldn’t have to lose who I am!” If you are committing yourself to a Christ centered marriage, God will make you the person he created you to be.
Husbands, go all out in love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in a dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor–since they’re already “one” in marriage. Ephesians 5:25-28 (Msg)
4) Scriptural Obedience~ As we are obedient to God, and growing closer to God, the intimacy with our spouse will increase. As married couples and as families, we must build our foundation on solid rock.
…All those who come and listen and obey me are like a man who builds his house upon a strong foundation laid upon underlying rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against the house, it stands firm, for it is strongly built. But those who listen and don’t obey are like a man who builds a house without a foundation. When the floodwaters sweep down against that house, it crumbles into a heap of ruins. Luke 6:46-49 (TLB)
Look at today’s prescription. Husband and wife can pull together across the bottom of the triangle, without God, and they may be together, but they will have no foundation. If a husband and wife draw close to God first, they will grow together at the same time, and land on a firm foundation.
Marriage is tough. Believe me, I know. I have had the blessing of a godly husband who is a spiritual leader in our family, although I know I haven’t always allowed him to be. Life is much smoother and happier in our home when I do.
From my heart,
Celeste
If you would like to view these sermons from Brookwood Church, here is the link. The production of their very own “Trulywed Game” is definitely worth watching. It will make you smile =o) Just copy and paste into your browser.
http://www.brookwoodchurch.org/mediaplayer
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