Well, let me first be honest about this post. I had a hard time getting into Perry’s sermon this week…not because it wasn’t great, but because I was so frustrated with David! He fussed at me Sunday morning about being on my computer. I admit, I am on my computer a lot these days, but writing and photography require much computer time. So that being said, here’s part two of The Trulywed Game.
The title for this sermon was “Communicating to Encourage Closeness.” I found this title rather ironic considering our communication on the way to church!
“To develop emotional intimacy, I must display trustworthy character and deliver encouraging communication.”
Now being the proud and stubborn people David and I are, I don’t know which one of was communicating badly. David says I’m on the computer way too much and not being part of the family (even if I’m just doing mindless things like deleting bad pictures). I, however, think David is not supporting me in my photography and writing since he is fussing at me about being on the computer! Don’t get me wrong, he does support me, but I don’t know how I can possibly get everything done without spending some time around the family with my laptop. Suggestions here are welcome by the way!
How to Communicate to Encourage Closeness:
1) Display trustworthy character by demonstrating integrity, deciding to be faithful, and dealing with tasks.
Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming! Song of Songs 2:15 (NLT)
I can honestly say I’ve never read that verse in the Bible. But the metaphor is so very true. How many little foxes do we let into our homes and lives every day? One little fox may not do too much damage, but before long, they can take over and a marriage and home can be destroyed.
Nothing is more damaging to intimacy than when that little seed of doubt is planted. You know as well as I do that one little doubt put into our mind about our spouse being unfaithful is all it takes to make us see inconsistencies everywhere. We should have no secrets between each other. And yes…we should allow access to email, text, Facebook, or whatever communication we have with other people, especially if they’re of the opposite sex. We tend to want to argue, “If he trusted me, he wouldn’t need to see my text messages!” Yes, but if we are being completely trustworthy, we won’t care!
Those little “foxes” can be anything that gets in the way of intimacy–anything that causes your spouse for feel like you don’t care what they think…like spending money when you know you have it; or conveniently forgetting tasks that they’ve asked you to do that you really hate. Satan will send lots of foxes into our dens. We must be ready to trap them!
We should never put ourselves in tempting situations, and if we are honest with ourselves, we’ll know exactly when they are.
2) Deliver encouraging communication by recognizing our spouse’s insecurity, refusing to speak harshly, and repeating words of praise.
After a full day at work, or wherever you are with people who take your time and energy, you come home exhausted without much left.
…Treat your [spouse] with understanding as you live together. 1 Peter 3:7 (NLT)
If we stay in a constant state of frustration, intimacy cannot grow. We had a perfect example on Sunday! While David and I should have been listening to this sermon together and learning from it, it went more like this. David’s thinking, “I hope she’s listening to this so she can see I was right,” while I was thinking, “I really hope he heard that part about encouraging words and communication!”
Our culture today constantly hits us with outer beauty…the way we “should” look. As a spouse, if you are looking at health and fitness or beauty magazines, it will eventually make your spouse feel like they are being compared. We should always make our spouse feel nothing but secure…however we can. We know where our spouses are weak, and it’s our job to help them feel strong and secure in those areas.
Intimacy should be protected as your greatest treasure.
In his “song,” Solomon expresses his love and adoration in a most sincere way…although I think standards have probably changed a little since then. But nevertheless, his love and adoration were sincere. Just for fun, enjoy this little presentation of “Solomon’s Beloved” by Vonda Skelton…It’s a must see. I promise you will have your laugh for the day!
…discover beauty in everyone. Romans 12:17 (Msg)
From my heart,
Celeste
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